If I Can't Have You
by Yuna Yami Mouto
Summary: The Avengers are the best band on the planet,with the best gigs and musicians in the world- fact. The world has long since accepted it, that is until an old friend comes for two of their members and the world is shaken as an old group comes back together once again to make t small splashes.Tsunamis!Friendship,love and family go a long way to break the chains of society
1. Chapter 1

**If I Can't Have You**

**Summary: The Avengers are the best band on the planet, with the best gigs and the most talented musicians in the world. That was fact. The world has long since accepted it. That is until an old friend comes for two of their members and the world is shaken as an old group comes back together once again to make waves. And not small splashes. Tsunamis! Friendship, love and family go a long way to break the chains of society, after all.**

"Cut!" An irritated and impatient voice shouts for the six time in just as many minutes, interrupting the music once again at some random part of the song, causing the band to groan. Most of the extended group of ten sent glares at their lead singer and Bruce Banner, pianist, sound specialist and one of the song writers of the band, didn't know whether he should fidget or get annoyed on said lead singer's behalf. As if it was all _her_ fault. No matter how many times one of the others missed a chord or fell out of rhythm. Unfortunately, they had both gotten used to this by now. It was too regular an occurrence for them not to, especially as of late. "Stark! Get your shit together and start hitting those notes already! We don't have all day!"

Antonia 'Toni' Stark, known by the world as the lead singer, song and music writer as well as frontman - or front-woman, to be exact - and face of the Avengers, was by far one of the most talented people Bruce had ever met and he hated that she was bowing her head to these people. She didn't need this. Before being an Avenger, Toni was Iron Maiden, the nickname given to her by the band themselves after she rocked a cover of one of their songs so well that they asked her to preform the song _Iron Maiden_ with them on stage back in 2008. And before that, she was Toni Stark. She had a fan base of millions and certainly didn't need the Avengers. And yet, when Nick Fury came to her about a collaboration in 2009, 2010 and then again in 2012, she joined because she wanted to change the world of music with other icons of their time. Bruce, too, was approached and he only joined because he knew Toni would be there. It was always a pleasure to work with her. He knew, intimately well, that she doesn't miss chords and notes, especially not in her own songs. She doesn't deserve the crap everyone's been giving her since 2014 for their _Ultron_ album and then her own _Twisted Reality_ EP that resulted from it and only managed to get her a larger fan following. Now, two years later, the Avengers were once again trying to ride on the coattails of her fame and name and influence in the world of entertainment.

Bruce wasn't entirely sure why she was taking all of this but he knew better than to interfere. She didn't like others trying to fight her battles for her.

"Listen, Nick, we both know the problem's not in me. Tell Maximoff not to mess up the xylophone and Barton not to speed through his bass and then Rogers could maybe get a good chord in," Toni replied with a tired sigh that Banner felt in his own bones, which was not fair as Toni was three years younger than him. No one in their late twenties should sound so tired of and worn down by the world. The last ten years have been hard on her.

The criticized musicians instantly bristled and puffed up, making Bruce groan while Thor frowned and patted his back. Thor Odinson, their drummer, was the only person on the team both Bruce and Toni really got along with. The big blond was like an excitable puppy and was always more than eager to help the two writers develop a beat for their new songs. Clint Barton, their bass guitar player, and Wanda Maximoff, who more and more joined them on the xylophone as of late, were two people Toni and Bruce could never find any middle ground with. Mostly because Clint used to be a poor traveling street performer until Fury pulled him into the Avengers and Wanda Maximoff was called on by Steve Rogers, their lead guitarist and occasional male singer, for _Ultron_ and stayed since. She had some personal grudge against Toni and Stark International because they wouldn't hire her and her brother during some talent-hunting audition. After Pietro got hit by a car right after they were turned down at their audition, Wanda near ran Toni over with her own car in an act of vengeance. Just because she shed a few tears later and batted her eyelashes at Steve didn't mean she should have been allowed into the band. It's pretty much why both Toni and Bruce had distanced themselves from the Avengers until this collaboration was called and they had to assemble due to their contracts expiring only next year.

It's going to be a _long_ year for them.

"Of course. Toni Stark, who can make no mistake, the queen of music. Do you have any _more_ bullshit to attack us with?"

The woman in question only arched an eyebrow at him and Bruce could _feel_ the snark ready to roll out. So it was going to be one of _those_ sessions. "It's constructive criticism, Barton, and yes, I do. Try not to suck so bad."

"You're just big name because of your father's company, Stark. You have no real talent."

"I'd say right back at you but then I realized that it would imply that you are right and that I am as talentless as you. As it is, Maximoff, you can go jump off a cliff and I wouldn't care." That, of course, only made the Sokovian woman looked more ready to claw Toni's eyes out, but Steve stepped in to mediate before she could launch at the brunette and Bruce groaned louder. This was so not going to end well.

"Toni," the former soldier told her in a scolding, authoritative voice that would never make her cower and would instead make her more defiant. Toni never did do well with fake authority figures. "You need to back off. We're all under stress to get this album done before the tour."

"You can jump off right with her for all I care, Rogers," Toni immediately snapped back, as they all no doubt knew she would. It happens when your boyfriend of two years cuts off all contact with you until he needs you again two years later, only to shove his tongue down your cousin's throat two days after your first make up date for the lost time and then accuses you of cheating on him in the two years of hiatus in communication, as though he had expected you to wait like a faithful dog. Toni had zero tolerance for betrayal. _Ultron_ was a big one but she had accepted that most of the other Avengers didn't see anything wrong in inviting a woman who hates her guts into the band that always preached about being a family. The _Civil War_ album, as Fury called it, they were forcing her in doing was an even bigger one but Toni would abide her contract. Personal betrayals was something she wouldn't lay down for.

The communication hiatus she had been willing to forgive because Steve's best friend, their new metallophone player - why they needed both the metallophone and the xylophone was anyone's guess but both Fury and Rogers insisted on them so Toni and Bruce just made them follow the occasional violin parts they give Natasha - James 'Bucky' Barnes was in an accident that cost him his arm and he needed assistance in recovering and getting used to life with only one arm and hand. Toni could understand that, as her own best friend and practically older brother, James 'Rhodey' Rhodes nearly lost all function in his legs around the same time and she kept going to physical therapy with him for support. She would not allow herself to be used or a side-piece and for her own cousin, no less. They had a row, Rogers actually dared grab her upper arm to leave dark bruises for a week and they broke up and Bruce and Toni nearly left the bend right there and then. Fury called them out on violating their contract before they could leave, mostly because them leaving meant Thor would go, too, as he had no real investment or interest in the Avengers when he, his brother and some badass woman called Brunhilde that Bruce was sure Loki Odinson had a huge crush on, were planning on making a new band themselves.

Losing Thor while also losing their only song writers and their most experienced musicians? It was a surefire way to bury the Avengers six feet under. And losing the Avengers would serve as the final nail in the coffin known as Shield, the entertainment company that had tried to concoct a volatile mix of too different people and make them work. Shield, the organization that was infiltrated by a money washing German gang known as Hydra and had been under investigation for three years, all of its other talents and potential talents scattered to the wind in an attempt to get away from the fall out lest they be labeled criminals. The Avengers only survived 2013 because Toni had been personally invested in the band back then and had bought all rights to them from Shield lest they fall apart. She kept them from sinking. Bruce wondered if she regretted it now.

"Toni, this is about the band. It's bigger than you so just set aside your ego, stop antagonizing everyone and let's go back to working together to make great music, like we always did." Natasha Romanov, a redhead Russian woman no one believed that was her actual name given she had tried forging an identity as Natalie Rushman back in 2010 to get into SI to get an exclusive picture of Toni when she had been near deathly sick while making her album _Starkenium_ in honor of the Stark Music Expo her father had started decades ago, scolded with a disappointed frown on her face and Bruce wanted to gag. To think he used to date her, for a short while. He and Betty Ross, his former manager, had gotten into a serious fight and broken it off and he had been a bit desperate for company and Natasha, Fury's right hand woman for manipulation, had been right there for him. He didn't even realize it until Toni expressed her surprise that he had extended his contract with the Avengers beyond just the two years they were meant to work on the collaboration. And then he'd realized Toni had signed on for two more years because of him, too, and he felt bad that his friend was as fooled as he was. Romanov wasn't even ashamed or sad when he confronted her about it and broke it off. She had only said he'd eventually cool down and everything would be like before.

Bruce was so disgusted with himself that he ran off and disappeared as soon as the album was released and they had a mini tour in eastern Europe. He'd stayed in touch only with Toni but he'd eventually ran into Thor, Loki and their Brunhilde friend in Australia. Talk about a small world.

"Oh, go screw yourself. In fact, _all_ of you go screw yourselves - not you Brucie-bear and Point Break. You two are cool. If this is what you imagined when you talked about a collaboration, then you can count me out. I don't have to stand for this level of unprofessional bullshit-"

"Language," Steve scolded and Banner can tell the exact second when Toni's patience snapped. Given she'd held out for two months by now, he was impressed. Then again, it _is_ the reason why he had called on her while he was making _The Incredible Hulk_ album in 2009 for the songs _Control_, _Anger Management_ and _Issues_. Toni wasn't just a musician, after all. She was a businesswoman, too. But even she was only human and given how much Rogers has been pushing her as well as the others ...

Let's just say Bruce is impressed she had lasted this long without at least lashing out at the others. And now it was all going to come down like a rain of fire. The expression on her face reminded him of her single from 2008, _Gulmira_, and he winced internally. Oh, this was _all_ going to hell.

"You know what? You can go and fuck yourself and your language, Rogers. You don't control me. You don't have a say in my life, in how I dress, what I say or what I believe in. You're not my father and even Howard knew better than to try, so you can taking you're fucking 'Language' and shove it up your ass so deep that you're choking on it and if you try to sell that bullshit to me again, I'll do it for you." And _that_ tone reminded him of the theme behind _Et Tu, Godfather?_, which, while an amazing song, was one all about betrayal and anger and heartbreak at said betrayal. Really, Toni's 2008 _Iron Maiden_ album was a thing for history books. Not that 2010 _Iron Maiden - Starkenium_ wasn't good, but Toni didn't think so since her voice was rough and damaged from her illness. The 2012 _I _Am_ Iron Maiden_ one made a perfect cycle for it, but Toni still thought the first one was best. That trilogy was pretty much the future of the music for the past eight years.

In contrast, Steve's first album in 2011 called Captain America was a bit too much of a blast to the past. Their styles, like their personalities, clashed and Bruce wondered how they had managed to survive two years of a relationship. But then he remembered the arguments, how accommodating Toni had been in an attempt to keep the relationship steady and how Rogers hadn't even noticed the weight she was constantly carrying. _Extremis_, while a reminder to the world that Toni Stark is not to be trifled with, was also a call for help that no one but Bruce heard and even he couldn't do much about it.

In hindsight, it was no wonder they ended in such an explosive way.

And it made their current interactions all the more logical.

"I'm warning you, Toni. If you don't back off, you'll be kicked out of the band."

Toni actually laughed at that, bitter and ugly. Bruce shivered. That one actually reminded him of _Palladium_ 2010 and he hated that song. It was all about how his best friend was slowly dying from the very thing keeping her alive, i.e. music. None of Toni's closest friends liked that song and yet it was one of the only ones which could rival _I Am Iron Maiden_ from the end of her album of 2008. He personally wants to burn the song.

"Really, Rogers? Can _you_ even do that? Can _any_ of you?" She challenges, getting into Steve's face and Bruce tenses. _This_, though, reminds him too much of their very first day at Shield and the argument they'd had in the recording studio with Toni and Steve looking ready to go a few rounds right then and there. This had the same vibe and Bruce thought he might get sick. Toni didn't back down then and she won't back down now. And now that he knows Rogers won't think twice about laying a hand on Toni and leaving her bruised, Bruce was _desperate_ for this to end already. For someone to step in and stop them. A fight from the within would destroy the band forever and while he wasn't particularly fond of it, Toni had put too much work in this band for it to go to shit.

He was also of the opinion that the break of this band might be what breaks _her_.

"No one's irreplaceable, Stark," the tall, broad shouldered blond man all but barked at her but Toni only smirked. This was definitely getting _way_ out of control. And the only ones who could stop it, namely Thor in a physical sense and Fury in the get-back-to-work-you-motherfuckers sense, were just standing aside, watching like they couldn't look away. It was like watching a train wreck.

_'Oh, this is _so_ going to end in disaster.'_

"Good to hear, because I'm done with this shit. You can go find another sugar mama while you're at it because _this_ check book, this studio, _these_ privileges are _off limits_. I'd say I wish you the best of luck, but that would be a lie. Please do let the door hit you on the way out." There was a moment of silence as she let that sink in, obviously enjoying the stunned reaction she was receiving. To be expected. No one had fought so hard for the Avengers and their brand as Toni had. No one had ever thought _she'd_ be the one to kick _them_ out, as though it could ever go the other way around. They _were_ using _her_ studios, _her_ PR teams, _her_ lawyers, _her_ connections, _her_ money to keep the band afloat. While they needed Toni, she didn't need them. Perks of not only being a part of the entertainment industry as a talent but also as one of its administrators and leading businesswomen. Between Toni and the SI CEO, the fearsome Ms Potts, Toni will get out of this crash and burn with nary a scratch on her while the rest of the Avengers will be ashes in the wind. Except Thor. His father owned his own entertainment company in Norway, but they specialized in action movies. Still, Thor would survive and Toni would no doubt drag Bruce out with her, too.

Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton, Wanda Maximoff and the until now quiet Sam Wilson, a saxophone master, Scott Lang, a backup vocal and background special effects guy that Wilson had brought in to meet the band and had somehow ended up being invited for the _Civil War_ collab album, and Bucky Barnes, who looked like he just wanted to go home ... not so much. Oh, no. They won't even burn. The world will forget about them by the end of the next year if they don't get something out and without song writers, that's gonna be tough.

"Stark, be reasonable," Phil Coulson, their manager, tried to reason but Toni just shook her head and crossed her arms, taking a step back from Rogers.

"No. I'm done. You're on your own, effective immediately. JARVIS, inform Pepper to cut all founding for the 'Avengers Initiative'."

Not a moment later, the cultured, British voice of Toni's Artificial Intelligence replied. "Done, Sir. Also, there is a visitor requesting a meeting with you. Shall I let them up?"

Toni frowned, confusion and curiosity distracting her from her - now former and soon to be officially so - band mates. "What? Who? I didn't have a meeting a forgot about, did I?"

"No, Sir. And he says he'd rather it be a surprise."

"A he, huh? You know I don't like surprises. Not anymore."

"I believe you will enjoy this one." The woman paused, considering, before nodding along. "I will send him right in."

Toni just grins at the implication that JARVIS had already figured out what she would reply and had led this surprise guest somewhere close until he got a confirmation from his creator. "Sneaky," it was said with a pride Bruce knew to be genuinely felt. Toni _adored_ JARVIS and it was clear the affection was reciprocated. She was the only one he addressed with 'Sir', despite it being the wrong gender. It had been a powerplay between Toni and Obadiah Stane, her honorary uncle and godfather, in the year after her parents died in a car crash and the Stark company, fortune and the custody of Toni went straight into the sleazy business man's hands. He'd tried to take over the company completely and shut down the entertainment side, instead focusing on the technological especially Howard Stark's old weapons division that he'd shut down after the Cold War, but JARVIS had caught him in the act and the man was now serving his dues in prison after staging an attempt on Toni's life while she was visiting a friend in Gulmira. No one knew all the details of what happened except those who had been there, but all the world knew that Toni came out of it with her new pacemaker that she'd built in a cave and revolutionized the field of clean energy after three months of captivity for ransom in Afghanistan. No one heard from that terrorist cell again beyond in _The Ten Rings_. JARVIS runs half the business ever since that happened back in 2008. It was not an easy year, for anyone. "If you'll excuse me."

"No," Steve ordered and grabbed Toni's upper arm. "We're not done here."

Toni slapped his hand away, fury in her usually warm brown eyes. "Get your hands off me, Rogers. I thought I made it perfectly clear last time that I don't want you touching me. And believe me, _yes_ we are. _You_ are."

Steve just clenched his jaw, a mulish sort of determination entering his eyes. "We're not done here. You're an Avenger, Stark, whether you like it or not. You can't just break off the contract like that-"

"I can and I will. It's what my legal department is for, after all."

"You're acting childishly."

Toni just shrugged, appearing nonchalant despite the tension in the set of her shoulders. "If that's what you think, then that's your opinion. I doesn't mean shit to me nor does it have an impact on my life or my career."

"Your career is over if you leave the Avengers, Toni," Romanov tries to reason but Toni just shrugs again.

"I doubt it, but even if it does, it's not the end of the world. I'll just be better off without it all. This group is toxic. That said, I'm leaving now."

"No, you're not going anywhere until we resolve this Toni." Rogers once again grabbed Toni's upper arm and she actually pushed him back this time, and with a surprising strength for someone her size. Then again, she wasn't just petite, she was compact. When she wasn't making music, Toni was tinkering in her private lab with all sorts of machinery and not all of it is light or automatic.

"I _said_, don't you fucking touch me," Stark hissed through her teeth and Rogers, having regained his footing, made a move as though to, much to the shock and horror - or glee, in Wanda's case - of everyone watching, _punch_ her-

When a hand caught his wrist and twisted painfully. Steve crumbled to the ground like a house of cards, a pained gasp leaving his lips.

"She _said_," a familiar voice both Bruce and Toni had honestly thought they'd hear live ever again, making the two geniuses snap their heads up at the tall, well built, pale, dark haired man in an impeccable business suit in shock. "Not to touch her, you bastard."

"Stephen?"


	2. Chapter 2

**If I Can't Have You**

**Summary: The Avengers are the best band on the planet, with the best gigs and the most talented musicians in the world. That was fact. The world has long since accepted it. That is until an old friend comes for two of their members and the world is shaken as an old group comes back together once again to make waves. And not small splashes. Tsunamis! Friendship, love and family go a long way to break the chains of society, after all.**

"Stephen?" Toni heard herself and Bruce ask incredulously as their eyes landed on an old friend they haven't seen since ... Since college, really. Not in person, anyway. It's hard to miss news about the genius doctor who played three instruments like a modern day Amadeus Mozart, after all. But then, in 2013, all traces of their friend were lost after a car accident - _sweet science and music_, she hated cars and car accidents! - nearly took his life and reportedly took away his hands. Not in quite so literal a context, but in the sense that the nerve damage was so severe he was never going to be able to hold a scalpel again, much less operate on the brain. And with how people were speculating how weak his hands will be, there were rumors he'll never be able to play again.

Toni had tried to at least fix that. She'd created gloves meant to stabilize and strengthen his hands, fingers and wrists so he can still play music. She'd sent it to him while he was still in the hospital, along with a note to give her feedback on if anything needed fixing or tweaking. She never heard from him. She never heard of him playing somewhere ever again. And in 2014, any trail he may have had turned up cold and she had feared one of her oldest and dearest friends might be dead. It made recording _Ultron_ especially tiring and made her irritable with only Bruce understanding why she wrote and shot a few songs by herself. They hated her for _I Lost My Secret Friend_ and _Grief_ because the two songs outshone any Avengers songs released that year because fans and critic reviews all stated they were one of the most relatable and emotional songs ever recorded, posting their tearful reactions on YouTube. Bruce helped her with some of the others, but these two were just her and an instrument and people reacted. She had needed an outlet and music was it. Steve still blamed her for keeping secrets, disregarding the theme of the songs, the loss they spoke of, the friend she was mourning.

But here he was now, Doctor Stephen Strange, looking almost exactly the same as he had the last time she'd seen his face in any way except for a cool goatee and the very gloves she had sent him, holding back beefy ex soldier Steve Rogers with cold fury in his ever changing blue-green-gray eyes. Toni actually had to pinch herself to check if she was dreaming.

At the sound of her voice, Stephen turned to her, his features going infinitely softer just at the sight of her. "Hi, Toni. It's good to see you."

She felt her eyes become watery. "Stephen!" Apparently he was expecting for her to jump on him like she had been doing for all the years they've known each other, because he pushed away Rogers' hand and easily caught her. "Oh sweet science, you're alive! You're okay! I thought I was never going to see you again. They wouldn't let me visit you at the hospital because you literally weren't allowing anyone but the doctors and nurses in and then you never reached out after I sent you the gloves and then you just _disappeared off of the face of the Earth_ and I couldn't find you and _JARVIS_ couldn't find you and I thought-"

"I'm fine, I promise," he whispered in her ear, making soothing noises to stop her rambling. He made no protest about how hard she was clinging to him with her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, though it must be painful. And speaking of painful, his hands must be _killing_ him and yet he was holding on to her just as tightly as she was to him, unwilling to let go as though he feared she might disappear. Which both made _no_ sense and yet did. It _had_ been her that disappeared first, after all, though it hadn't been _her_ fault Stane was a dick godfather. "I'm here, Toni. I'm not going anywhere."

"You better not!" Toni halfheartedly snapped, rubbing her eyes on his shoulder before looking up, smiling from ear to ear at the sight of those pretty blue-green-gray eyes she had spent a good part of her time at MIT staring at almost every day. "Tesla, it's good to have you back, Stephen."

"It's good to be back," he replied with a smile of his own, rubbing their noses in an Eskimo kiss before placing their foreheads together, an old greeting they shared like a handshake.

"Hey, Stephen," Bruce approached them then, also taking in the sight of their long lost friend but he didn't interrupt the cuddle fest between them. They all knew Toni and Stephen were the closest to each other, despite the years of friendship or separation. Still, he clapped Stephen on the shoulder and smiled warmly at the taller man, which the other returned.

"Bruce. Good, I was hoping to catch you both," he reluctantly made to help Toni get back to her own feet and she pouted but complied. Still, neither of them made a move to step away from each other and lose all contact. Toni instead cuddled up to his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist, turning her head so she faced Bruce while one of Stephen's arms wrapped around her own waist, the other returning the shoulder clasp with their friend.

"Oh?" The music geniuses of the Avengers asked, arching an eyebrow in interest.

Stephen nodded, sparing barely a glance at the Avengers in disinterest before returning to Bruce and Toni. "We have much to catch up on and make up for, but I was also wondering if you could do me a professional courtesy. Though I'd like to discuss all of this privately-"

"Whatever you have to say to Bruce and Toni, you can say to us, too," Romanov interjected, sounding oh so friendly and sincere and helpful that Toni wanted to gag and only years as the frontman of a band and the representative of an entire company and brand helped her suppress even a grimace. The Avengers have been trying for _years_ to portray some sort of 'family' outlook to the fans, a sense of 'togetherness' that never really existed in the group, not even at the peak of their time together, before the _Ultron_ album. They never really shared anything intimate or personal when they hung out with each other, they all had their secrets and they honestly didn't trust each other. They feared Bruce's anger management issues, Thor's practically alien style of upbringing in a house that respected old viking-like ways of life, Steve's experiences in the military and the effects it left on him, Clint hiding who knows what other than the family they involuntarily met during the _Ultron _debacle, Natasha's real past and, perhaps most of all, Toni's intelligence and influence in the world at large. Not that Bruce was any less smart than her - after all, they both managed to stack up seven PhDs under their belts despite dedicating a good part of their time to music and other exploits, like Toni running her company and later just the R&D department while Bruce traveled the world as a part of the Doctors Without Limits program. But it was fact that Toni had an insane amount of influence on both the music fans and the politicians of this day and age. It comes from her old and current military contracts, though today it's just body armor, communication devices and the such instead of weapons of mass destruction. That part of SI was irreversibly shut down, thank whatever deity might exist, if one did at all. But that was besides the point. Romanov was trying to sell a camaraderie of the Avengers that never existed in the band. They were all too different, had no overlapping points and while that made their music something unique, it also made their internal rapport with a lot to be desired. Talk about _A Ticking Time-Bomb_. Bruce really made a good song out of it, too.

Stephen looked at Romanov in that customary way of his that he did when he would rather not be breathing the same _air_ as the idiot, let alone talking with them, something the band was usually used to seeing only from Toni so far. He and Toni had practiced those looks together, so it's to be expected Strange would subject them to the same treatment, too, when they started spouting bullshit. "I'm sorry, but do you have a PhD?"

Bruce and Toni immediately exchanged looks between them, a disbelief and _excitement_ sparking in their eyes at the same time at the possible implications behind that one drawled question. The other Avengers, though, looked fairly confused. Only Lang raised his hand sheepishly. "I have a degree in engineering?" As everyone shot him a glance, he seemed to shrink in on himself. "What? Why is everyone looking at me like that? I have a kid I need to provide a steady income for! And engineering is fun."

"That it is," Toni readily agreed with a smile. Maybe Lang wasn't so bad? He was the newest 'recruit' Rogers was trying to drag into the band, obviously not understanding that this was not an orchestra and that Lang already had a two person band with her girlfriend and Toni's good girl friend, Hope Van Dyne of Pym Entertainments and that he was perfectly happy there. This was a temporary collaboration that Hope only learned about from Toni so she wished him all the luck when he gets back and Hank Pym sinks in on him. Poor guy isn't even aware of how bitchy her father's old rival and colleague can be. Hopefully, Hope will go easier on him. That is, she will _if_ Lang doesn't try to join the Avengers. Pym isn't overly fond of them and Hope only likes Toni and Bruce because of their college days. Thor she finds amusing but the big blond was prone to breaking stuff, which she did _not_ find amusing _at all_. Lang would be in some deep shit if Rogers manages to talk him into becoming an official band member. Maximoff and Wilson were bad enough and the Avengers had been a rather large group from the beginning with its six members. Thankfully, Barnes seems to have been dragged into some African band named Wakanda and he was only helping out in the _Civil War_ album because Steve asked him to and one of his new band mates, T'Challa, will be coming to join in on it, too, at Toni's call. How Barnes got into a band that celebrates black people rights will forever remain a mystery.

"I don't see what having a PhD has anything to do with any of this," Barton retorted, snorting. "Except that Stark gets to blow her own horn for buying all of the ones that hang down in the receptionist hall. Like anyone could ever have twenty four degrees in _anything_."

"Uh, I have seven PhDs myself, Barton, if you haven't forgotten. And one of which is in nuclear physics." Well, damn. Toni can't remember the _last_ time Bruce sounded so offended on his own behalf. _Thank you_, Stephen! "And they're all hanging down in the receptionist hall, too, if you'd bother to read the names on them."

"Wait, you actually still have all our degrees on display?" Stephen asked, turning to her, incredulous. Toni just arched an eyebrow.

"People collect post card stickers, I collect my closest friends' PhDs. We all have our hobbies, Doc."

"I guess we'd now have to be, what? 24 PhDs? We doubled the amount?" Toni grinned at that, warmth flooding though her like she hadn't felt in years. Not since the last time they were all in one place.

"Yeah, Reed has five, Bruce and I have seven each, you have yours and Yin-" Toni felt her voice crack as it always did when she tries to mention the last member of their group, her breath hitching and she felt her eyes prickling with the threat of tears but like _hell_ was she going to show weakness in front of these people she had no trust for, excluding Bruce and Stephen and even Thor, to an extent, of course.

"Yeah, I know he has two, but where do the other two come from?" Stephen asks, dragging her away from her dark thoughts, something she is grateful for. Still, she couldn't seem to find her voice and, as such, couldn't answer his question.

"Toni and I went out of our way to get one for each of us in music. Not really a PhD but as close to it as it gets," her Brucie-bear replied for her, for which she sent him a grateful smile. "She insisted so we can say we doubled the amount, if we ever run into each other."

And Strange just smiled, all fond and amused and proud and it left Toni with an elevated heartbeat that she should maybe be concerned about, all things considered. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Because you know me?"

"Because you look like an egotistical jerk?" She and Barton said at the same time and Toni turned in sync with her two friends to glare daggers at the bassist, who only sneered at them. "Hey, just calling it as I see it. Don't blame _me_ for it being true. If you're gonna play geniuses, I'm gonna call you out on your bullshit."

" ... JARVIS, start a lawsuit for harassment for Barton, why don't you, dear." Toni said in a cold voice she almost did not recognize as her own and she could see how the Avengers recoil at it, never having heard it before. Then again, they had never had a chance to. They knew better than to try and badmouth the people close to her. Pepper, Rhodey and her bodyguard, Harold 'Happy' Hogan as well as Bruce, two kid proteges and the artist known as the Vision were off limits. They knew that. They knew not to mess with them. But they had apparently decided to disregard the easy interactions between her and Stephen and decided he was obviously fair game. Toni would let anyone say whatever the hell they want about her but she will fucking _crucify_ anyone who dares mess with her family and friends.

"With pleasure, Sir," her loyal AI promptly responded and she had no doubt her legal department was already working on it. They will be delighted with this chance to bury someone in lawsuits. They usually dealt with author rights and the such, which didn't hold as much excitement. And SI lawyers were a vicious sort, which is why Toni rarely let them loose on people. Barton might find himself with a restraining order before the day is up and that's _if_ the department is currently overflown with other things to finish. Sweet science and music, those people and her PR team deserved a raise. She'll have to see about that. "Colonel Rhodes has requested to come up to extract you from the Avengers' company. I have let him in and believe he will be present promptly."

"Tell platypus we'll be in conference room nine, as it would seem Doc has business to talk," she instructed with a wink at said man, who only rolled his eyes in exasperation but followed her as Bruce did when she motioned with her hand as she started making her way out of the silent room through the doors that Stephen had come from. She was not at all surprised that the other door, leading to the observation room, were open as well, Fury and Coulson standing there with stern expressions on their faces. As if she cared.

"Stop with this, Stark. We don't have the time for any petty infighting and ego trips. You know this and I know that you know it. And I know _you_ and this is not like you at all."

"Then it shows just how well _you_ know _me_ and the _need_ for these so called petty in-fights," she threw back, unimpressed. Stark crossed her arms, cocked her hip and leveled him with a blank expression aside from the displeased, downward curve of her lips. "Ever since the first album, the Avengers were a toxic mix that shouldn't be mixed. We could tolerate each other for one album and one tour and we did great. _Ultron_ was already a great strain on us and it wasn't even all that well received, given the protests in Sokovia to our mere presence in their country, not to mention that two of our gigs almost ended in disaster with how badly and last minute everything was set up. This _Civil War_ deal? This is going to _bury_ us if we don't put a stop to it. Let's ignore the initial infighting for a sec. You're bringing in _so much people_ into this. We're a fucking band, not a classical orchestra and we're insulting both by doing this shit. And even ignoring _that_, there's also the fact that certain people don't even want to be here. T'Challa will be under a tight schedule and won't be able to dedicate as much time or energy into this project as he should. Viz isn't sure he wants to be around Maximoff after their messy breakup. I'm not letting you anywhere near Parker without me, Rhodey, Bruce, Thor or Viz. Barnes looks like he wants to be as far away from us - or maybe me in particular, since he seems to be blaming himself for Rogers screwing up our relationship; using your best friend as an excuse? Not cool - as he can get and Lang looks guilt-ridden to even be here. And that's not mentioning that Rhodey will probably try to castrate Rogers or that Barton should have been on vacation with his wife and kids, who will no doubt be pissed that he left retirement the first time Rogers said jump. _I_ didn't want to be here for _Ultron_ but I was because Bruce was and he was because I was. Thor has the illness of his mom to deal with and a trouble-making, angsting, lovesick younger brother as well as his dick of a father and scary older sister struggling against each other where their company should go. How do you expect us to focus on our music when so many things are going on? We can't pay it the proper attention it needs and trying to do it halfheartedly like this is an insult, to ourselves and to our fans. To music itself. If profit is all you care about, then I want nothing to do with it."

"Says the _billionaire_ who only cares about herself and her own fame," scoffed Wanda, to which Stephen scoffed in turn.

"Anyone who heard a single song Toni wrote and preformed could call you out on your bullshit. The reason Toni's songs sell so much is because she puts her all into her music and the fans can feel that. It makes her relatable. Besides, most of Toni's money comes from her scientific and technological innovations, you uneducated brat. Whatever profit she earns from her music career goes into charity or the educational system."

"Something you should have known by now," Bruce finishes, probably also incredulous that they didn't know that. The whole _world_ knew that. It just drove Toni's point further home as to the bad interactions in the 'team' and the unhealthy dynamic of the band. Her point being made, she arched an eyebrow at the pissed off looking Fury and gave him her best media smile.

"I think we're done here." And with that, she walked out of the room with not even a glance back at her soon to be official former band mates. Stephen and Bruce easily fell in step with her as she made her way down the halls, intent on getting as far away from them as she could before Rhodey gets to them. That was gonna be ugly and Stephen still hadn't told them why he reappeared so suddenly after all this time. So she led the way to the conference room she had mentioned earlier, chosen mostly for the many hiding places inside should they need them, taking a seat near one of said places and facing her boys. Both men were quick to take a seat as well and waited for her cue as to how this was going to go. "So, what's up? How come you reappeared all of a sudden, after all these years? You mentioned a professional courtesy and PhDs."

Stephen didn't fidget under the two Avengers' pointed gazes, instead leaning back in his plastic chair with arms across his chest and legs crossed at the knees, looking as elegant and handsome as ever. Toni actually had to remind herself not to stare or ogle. It would seem that, even after all these years, Stephen's very presence brought back the very frustrating losing battle she always held against herself. Yeah, life wasn't fair. How dare Strange be as hot as he was when they were all younger and less jaded! Still, his presence was as commanding as it ever was when he put in a thought to it. Back in the good days, he and Toni could fill up a room with their presence alone. They had always been the center of attention, the young geniuses that took their fields by storm. At least _that_ hadn't changed and Toni found a selfish kind of comfort in this knowledge.

That didn't mean she was any less surprised or shocked than Bruce was by Strange's next words.

"I think we should be on stage together again."


	3. Chapter 3

**If I Can't Have You**

**Summary: The Avengers are the best band on the planet, with the best gigs and the most talented musicians in the world. That was fact. The world has long since accepted it. That is until an old friend comes for two of their members and the world is shaken as an old group comes back together once again to make waves. And not small splashes. Tsunamis! Friendship, love and family go a long way to break the chains of society, after all.**

By the time Colonel James 'Rhodey' Rhodes, Stark's best friend from their MIT days and early starting of their music careers that were apparently supposed to be nothing more than hobbies to escape their tedious everyday careers, Steve could no longer see his ex girlfriend nor the two men she had left with and JARVIS refused to tell them the directions to that particular conference room the Avengers had never been to and it was frustrating. Why couldn't Toni stop being so antagonizing? He understood he hurt her feelings, but she had to see it from his point of view, too. Toni was known for being a playgirl and before Steve, she would have a different person in her bed every night. After the long break they took, Steve wouldn't have been surprised if she had went back to her old vices without his guiding presence. And besides, kissing her cousin Sharon had been an accident! A heat of the moment kind of thing! Steve would never cheat. He was too good of a man to do that. Erskine said so.

Still, that would never be enough to erase the now perpetual frown Rhodes - he no longer let them call him Rhodey, like a child during a temper-tantrum - always had on his face when dealing with the Avengers save Thor and Bruce, but especially when he had to interact with Steve. He was somewhat okay with Sam and Bucky but they didn't talk much, as far as Steve knew, but his overall impression of the Avengers and former Shield was very low. Steve knew his band blamed Toni for the shift in attitude and he did his best not to blame her, too. Blaming Toni will not endear them to the man that considers her his 'little sister', especially not when his entire family followed that example and practically adopted her as their own. Which Steve found insulting, given what great parents Toni had had. If Howard Stark had been _his_ father, Steve would have been infinitely grateful to the universe and Toni instead got angry any time someone mentioned the man.

Shaking those thoughts off, Steve focused on Director Fury practically interrogating Rhodes as to Stark's whereabouts, which, of course, the other wasn't giving up. He apparently wholeheartedly _approved_ her leaving the Avengers. "She doesn't need any of your bullshit in her life."

"Please, Rhodes," Steve tried to reason, coming up to the men. The younger of the two - quite possibly one of the best rappers of their generation; Toni sure knew how to pick her 'friends', hoarding the best of the best to herself to further her own career with a single phone call and never thinking of others', but no one could ever refute her tastes - looked at Steve as though he was an inconvenient annoyance he had to deal with, which annoyed Steve in turn. "We just want to talk with her. She can't just leave the band like that!"

"Yes she can. She's her own person. You don't own her and you don't own Iron Maiden and her image. If she wants to get away from you, then I salute her decision with gusto. It's about time she gets away from you sociopaths."

"You can't just let her off with that charlatan doctor!"

Rhodes looked at him real strange at that, a flicker of recognition flitting across his eyes but Thor stole the first words. "Funny, Loki calls the Infinite Beer Wizard that very same thing."

"You know him, Thor?" Nat asks, looking somewhat curious. The rest were watching with peaked interest now. The other blond, though, only shrugged.

"We met when I was recording some songs for my _Dark World_ album. He was in the studio next to mine, playing this beautiful tune on the piano. I almost cried. We talked, he told me I was an idiot and then wrote a song for me on the first thing that popped to my mind, which just so happened to be beer, so he wrote a song about an infinite pint of beer. I've not seen him since. He and Loki have a difficult relationship regarding the violin. Loki calls him a charlatan for the way he plays and the wizard calls him a child for much the same reason. They don't get along very well."

"Yeah, if you're talking about who I think you are, I can just guess," Rhodes said with a shake of his head that looked fond. Steve wasn't sure he liked what that implied. "Was his name Strange?"

"Yes, I thought it was rather odd, from what I can remember."

Rhodes snorted at Thor's answer, shaking his head. "No, was his actual name _Strange_, as in S-T-R-A-N-G-E? Stephen Strange, neurosurgeon, pianist, violinist, guitarist, asshole extraordinaire. _That_ Strange?"

"The man who just left with Toni sure did introduce himself as such," Natasha threw in again and the Colonel grinned.

"Oh, that crazy son of a bitch," he breathed in some sort of excitement that Rogers did not understand. "So he's back? Damn. Three of the most intelligent people on Earth in one room again. I should probably go find them before they end up finalizing their plans for world domination."

"That's not funny, dude," Sam complained with a shudder but Rhodes didn't look like he was kidding. Which was more than worrisome. "You can't be _serious_, right? Oh hot damn, you _are_!"

"Just be grateful Reed isn't around because they're all kind of missing their anchor to normality. Geniuses need those kinds of things and while Sue, Pepper, Christine, Betty and I could _probably_ slow them down, the only one who could really stop them would be Yin- Oh shit," Rhodes cut himself off, spiraling into a whirlwind of profanities with fervor. "I need to find Toni-"

"Not so fast, Colonel," Fury said, stepping in front of Rhodes when the man tried to step out of the room, moving in tandem with him when he tried to go around him. "Stark just up and quit for no good reason and threatened one of her own band mates with a lawsuit because of a complete stranger. Since she ran off with said complete stranger, we didn't get the explanations we are owed. It's fallen to you now to deliver them in her stead, as it's obvious that you're better informed about this than any of us are."

"Of course I am. I'm Toni's best friend and practically brother. It only makes _sense_ that I know her soulmate."

Silence met the rapper's words, complete, disbelieving silence before Clint broke it with a snort or disdain. "Listen, dude, I understand wanting to be an ass to us just because Stark is throwing a pitch but there's being an ass and then there's being a dick. If you don't want to tell us at least respect us enough not to spout bullshit."

Rhodes looked at him extremely blankly. "I'm not. I'm dead serious."

Wanda sniffed, offended and annoyed. "There's no such thing as souls or soulmates."

"Well, _you_ might not have one, doesn't mean _other_ people don't." The Sokovian young woman bristled at the blatant insult but Rhodes had no shame, just shrugging. "And I'm pretty sure Toni Stark and Stephen Strange are the living, breathing proof there _are_ such things as soulmates. I wouldn't be surprised at all if they had some sort of psychic link between their minds or something."

"Maybe you could give us some context?" Scott suggested meekly and shrank into himself again when the attention of the room was on him once again. "Just a suggestion."

"Scott's right. A bit of a background on the man would put our minds at ease," Steve said to Rhodes, squaring his shoulders when the man looked ready to curse him until suddenly he had a very peculiar glint in his eyes. None of the Avengers liked it. They weren't used to Rhodes being so passive aggressive or just outright aggressive.

"It's really none of your business but you know what? I can't wait to see your reactions or how Stephen will deal with you. It'll be worth it pissing him and Tones off. He'll tear you idiots to shreds soon enough, given how you usually treat Toni." Steve made to protest at that but Natasha sent him this _look_ that had his jaw clicking closed. Right. They probably shouldn't do anything to make the man reconsider giving them information. "Stephen Strange is practically the male, brain doctor version of Toni Stark, all snark, intelligence and talent. Leave those two alone on a workshop for a year and they'd revolutionize and conquer the world. Throw in Bruce Banner and Reed Richards and people would be living all over the Milky Way. Anyway, Stephen and Toni go _way_ back, even before MIT. They met at some summer camp for the gifted, Toni being three years younger than everyone else. Don't know what they usually did in camp but they went out onto some excursion one day into the nearby woods and some of the older kids, sick of being in the shadow of a seven year old, decided to push Toni down a slope, dislocating her ankle. The group was large and no one really noticed the lack of the Stark heir until they got to camp and panicked. They couldn't go searching in the dark and it was raining, if their accounts are correct - and they are. Stephen has photographic memory and Toni's is edict. Anyway, there was no way they could go searching because it wasn't safe but they prepared to leave first thing in the morning when they'll have more light. Only, when morning came, there was a knock on their door."

"You're shitting me," Bucky breathed in awe and excitement, apparently getting quite into the _obviously_ made up story. Steve wanted to shake his head at the blatant lie. There was no way Toni knew this Strange guy since before she hit double digits. Steve would have known! He was her boyfriend for two years, for heaven's sake! Toni wouldn't have hid this from him. But, then again, there _was_ that whole thing during the _Ultron_ album ... She _had_ hidden quite a few songs that ended up being more popular than the Avengers album itself. Still, this sounded too far-fetched.

Rhodes grinned at that. "Nope. When the camp people opened the door, there on their doorstep stood a scrawny ten year old with sharp cheekbones, tired but determined eyes, shaggy hair, covered in mud, branches and leaves from head to toe with an equally dirty seven year old girl on his back, one of her ankles wrapped up in what appeared to be the boy's long shirt sleeves and a good part of his pant legs. They were both scratched and bruised and dead on their feet and maybe getting a cold, but they were alive and didn't have to face Howard Stark's fury at losing his only daughter. That boy was Stephen Strange, if you didn't get the hint."

"Seriously?"

"Yup," Rhodes nodded at Buck's question. "He carried her all night long, through the mud and rain, back to the camp which is _twenty miles_ from the nearest forest. I checked it on google the first time I heard them casually mention it."

"How did he know she was in trouble, though? Didn't he go back with the rest of the group?" Sam asked, curious, apparently also taken in by the false story. "I mean, kids usually stick close to the camp directors when they're in the woods. And how the hell did the adults not notice but a _kid_ did?"

"Camp for the gifted, remember? Strange's _crazy_ smart and very perceptive. He apparently saw the kids push Toni down and had to climb down after her. By the time he set her ankle and managed to climb out of the ditch, it was already raining and the group was probably at the camp, so they had the choice between staying in the woods and catching hypothermia - which Stephen was adamant he wouldn't let happen as it was dangerous for someone as young as Toni; he was already interested in medicine back then so he knew some of his stuff, like setting a sprained ankle and the like - and maybe getting attacked by some animal or take their chances down the road, maybe stop a car if they're lucky. Toni couldn't walk so Strange carried her all the way back to the camp." Even Rhodes sounded amazed by the feat, which made Steve wonder just how talented a liar Toni actually was. The man seems to be utterly convinced this story to be true.

"So the wizard saved friend Antonia's life and they bonded over their night of youthful hardships?" Thor inquired, sounding as curious as Sam had. Steve actually huffed at the whole situation. It was all so absurd. Things like that don't happen in real life.

"Not only that. Toni's ankle was still sprained and she had a great distaste for doctors ever since her third kidnapping when one turned out to be an accomplice to some group famous for kidnapping rich kids for ransom. She wouldn't let anyone near her foot and neither would Stephen, saying Toni was _his_ patient and that _he_ will treat her wounds until a doctor she trusted came. He stayed with her the whole day and night before the doctor and Mr Jarvis came. That's a lot of time to talk and get to know each other. Toni refused to leave camp early and the two of them 'graduated' from that place as the best students, Toni in the lead by two points only and that was because Stephen didn't know much about physics back then. They've been practically inseparable since."

"Then how come we never saw the guy before now?"

"Stephen was a neurosurgeon high on demand because he was the best at what he did. Toni had an entire company to run. They simply didn't have the time to spare to go out for drinks or shit, especially not after Afghanistan when Toni was either stuck in her workshop, the studio or in the hospital. _Not_ the hospital Stephen worked in." Well, there went that question. "But Toni kind of pushed us all away in those months, so that's not too big of a surprise there, and then _you_," he glared at Fury. "Started hounding her for the Avengers and then Stephen had his accident and just disappeared from the maps. But even _before_ that, they haven't really had much of a rapport anymore. They hadn't been properly in contact since our college days, not since the PhDs went their separate ways."

"What's PhDs got to do with anything?" Okay, Steve was officially having a sense of deja vu here at his best friend's question. "Strange mentioned something about that, too."

Colonel Rhodes paused in whatever response he was going to give Bucky, staring at the entire group in disbelief. "You can't be serious," he half asked after an entire minute passed in silence, just watching them with this incredulous look like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I mean, I can excuse Bucky, Sam, Scott and maybe Wanda, but you guys? Come on, tell me you're trying to pull a fast one on me."

"That doesn't tell us anything, soldier," Fury snapped authoritatively but Rhodes only snorted and shook his head in disbelief.

"Seriously? None of you even _tried_ to learn something about Toni's _lifelong_ career as a music artist? Not once, in all of these years?"

"It's not like Stark knows anything about _us_," Wanda fired back, venom in her words that Steve will have to talk to her about after all of this nonsense is finished with. Right now, he had to concentrate on Rhodes and whatever scraps of information he might give them.

Rhodes just shot them _all_ a look like he thought they were the dumbest things to have crawled out of the evolutionary chain. Steve didn't appreciate the look. "Toni knows _all_ about your early careers, even from when none of you had records to your name. Like how Barton wrote one original song called _Hawkeye_ that he plays whenever his thoughts wander off. Or how Romanov trained to be a prima ballerina before she at some point became a corporate spy. Or how before the army, Rogers tried to bring everything from the 40s up to the 70s back with some modern twist in his _Man With A Plan_ album. Or how Thor used to have entire _hours long_ drum solos before his first official album _Fall From Grace_. I only know all of this shit because Toni took the time to tell me. But that you guys don't know a single thing about her pre-Avengers ... I can't honestly explain why I'm surprised, though. You guys only ever cared about what Toni could bring to the table and not at all to what _enabled_ her to do that. You only cared for the attention her _name_ will grant you and the sales her voice will make. Why should you know about her former band?"

"Iron Maiden didn't have a band before the Avengers," Natasha fired off confidently but Rhodes just sent her an extremely unimpressed look.

"No, but Toni Stark did. A rather successful one, too. To be expected. Every single one of them had a higher IQ than any other _room_ full of people."

"Then how come they're not around anymore?" Lang asked and once again shrank in on himself when everyone looked at him. "Just curious." Steve will have to talk to him about jumping into conversations this important that don't even concern him with no helpful commentary.

"They all had several doctorates and job offers all over the place. Music was supposed to be a side deal that they all adored but when research and projects came into conflict with their limited free time and _especially_ after they moved away all over the country, they agreed to put the band to rest. From what I know, they still mostly managed to put out their own individual albums or several solo songs every year. Usually about where life took them after our college days."

"So they just ... broke up?"

"Nope, the _Avengers_ are breaking up, like, Beetles style. Toni and the others parted amicably and even occasionally hear from each other every now and then. The exception was Stephen since his accident. Don't know why, all I know is he disappeared off of the face of the Earth and no one heard from him, not even his best friend from the hospital, until, apparently, today. You said he had a professional favor to ask?"

"What is this band friend Antonia had that she never mentioned and who was in it?" Rogers was grateful to Thor for asking that question instead of letting anyone try to answer Rhodes' question. Besides, it's not like they _knew_ anything about that. Toni had kind of just walked off with Bruce and Strange while cruelly threatening Clint with lawsuits for some imagined slight. Harassment? Pfft. Clint hadn't put a finger on Toni. And if she meant verbal harassment, then she was just making a mountain range out of an ant hill. She and Clint have been interacting like that for years now and she had never complained. Maybe she was just showing off in front of Strange? They apparently hadn't seen each other in a while. Did she have a crush on him? No, Steve knew Toni's type. He was it, after all. Tall, blond, muscular. Strange was scrawny in comparison and _no_, Steve was _not jealous_ by how happy Toni had looked at the mere sight of him when he himself had never managed to make her smile like that. He wasn't, really. That was absurd. Why did _he_ have to be jealous of?

"You can look them up," Rhodes said as he turned to leave, sidestepping a smartly dressed woman Steve cringed when he recognized her as one of Toni's personal lawyers. She marched right up to Clint and handed him a small stack of papers.

"You have been served," was all she said before marching right past Rhodes with only a nod of the head to the Colonel before briskly walked down the hall and out of sight with that ominous click-clack of heels against the tiled floors that always echoed hauntingly un Stark Tower. Steve had never liked it. It was foreboding.

"They're called 12 PhDs," Rhodes finished his answer to Thor and swiftly turned to follow the lawyer, leaving behind the confused Avengers.

"Oh my god," Scott breathed after a minute, awed. "She was in _the _12 PhDs!?"

"What?" Was all the other Avengers could say and Steve could feel a headache starting to pound behind his temple.

_'Damn it, Toni. Why can't you ever make anything simple?'_


	4. Chapter 4

**If I Can't Have You**

**Summary: The Avengers are the best band on the planet, with the best gigs and the most talented musicians in the world. That was fact. The world has long since accepted it. That is until an old friend comes for two of their members and the world is shaken as an old group comes back together once again to make waves. And not small splashes. Tsunamis! Friendship, love and family go a long way to break the chains of society, after all.**

Stephen Strange was not an overly social person. He was too brilliant to waste his time around ordinary people who only cared about the silly little things in life, ignoring the vast knowledge offered and settling for the chewed up information they get through social media or even the educational system in middle school and high school. He always sought knowledge and information, his brain _craved_ it. It was what his photographic memory was for, after all, storing all those intriguing facts and taking on more and more. That's why medicine interested him from a young age. There were just so many things to learn. Humans always change so medicine always changes. It was a challenge, almost like a fix for a junkey, though he was more in league with adrenaline junkies than narcotic ones. He _needed_ a challenge and the most complicated and challenging branch of medicine was neurosurgery. It kept him on his toes, the complicated procedures, the difficult surgeries, all the new complications that could arise that needed someone brilliant and skilled to deal with.

Of course, neurosurgery isn't the only thing he found peculiarly engaging for his mind. Music was a great endeavor for someone with skilled fingers and a photographic memory. There were so many pieces he could learn, so many symphonies to be mastered and there was always space for more. New songs, new melodies, new challenges. It was a thrill to go to an opera house or to a classical concert and be able to perfectly picture every note, every movement of fingers, to recognize every note that fills the air like a complicated spell of the oldest type of magic. Oh yes, Doctor Stephen Strange _loves_ music.

But the thing - or rather, the _person_ \- who introduced him to music when he was nine was Antonia 'Ton'i Stark herself. A genius, a child prodigy that only became better and more brilliant as she aged like fine whine or high quality whiskey. She was the first friend Stephen ever had and was his most precious one. Even after all these years, Stephen had not found another person he was ready to burn the universe for like he would for her. From that fateful night in that absurd little camp, to the present day, through high school/college and their PhD hunting days, through their complicated and busy lives and even after his accident and further adventures, he had never found someone quite like her.

The last time he had seen her was almost two decades ago when she graduated from MIT _summa cum laude_ and he as the valedictorian at Collumbia University. They'd come to listen to each other's speech, had played one last gig together and celebrated the night away until Stephen had to go to his first day of residency and Toni had to go to Malibu for Stark International's business. They were _so_ young, Toni only seventeen. Bruce stayed in college to get a few more degrees, that much Stephen knew, and Reed had been off ... being Reed. And Ho ... Ho had stayed with Toni, most of the time before he got married and started a family. And then, 2008 happened and ... Well, they had all gathered outside of one hospital room, watching over a grieving Toni for fear she might hurt herself out of sorrow or survivor's guilt. Then, they could only watch from afar as their friend took the world by storm and became the music legend she is now, the singer nicknamed Iron Maiden for so many different reason.

Stephen's not sure if people are aware that it's the name of a witch-hunting torture instrument or not.

Either way, Toni was someone special and also someone extremely unpredictable. Which was why Bruce drew her into his _The Incredible Hulk_ project in the first place. They wanted to distract her and if it got rid of the asshole producer 'Thunderbolt' Ross, then that was just a bonus in Toni's already impressive career. That _still_ prevented them from realizing Afghanistan had _seriously_ affected her health until Toni managed to drag herself out of that mess after a long struggle. It was impressive. Stephen wished he could have been there for her through it but he hadn't been all that sure of his place in her life after the long time they've had next to no communication between them. And then she got involved with the Avengers and started dating Steve Rogers, _Captain America_ 2011, and Stephen had felt his heart crack open.

Was it truly so surprising he fell in love with his best friend? He and Toni might as well be those ideal humans from ancient Greek mythology that the Olympian gods had to tear in half because they were so powerful, in that myth about soulmates. Or was that a Roman myth? Not that it mattered. All that was important was that he had never felt like he _belonged_, anywhere, not even with his family, until he found Toni. Her intelligence was frightening. The volume of her memory wasn't like his photographic memory and yet the amount of knowledge she had stored in that magnificent brain of her's was astounding. She understood his humor and later, after Donna drowned on his watch, she understood his fear of failure and since 2008 she understood his pain rather intimately, even though they hadn't talked since then. They were two of a kind, without a doubt, with a similar personality, drive and talent. They were each other's first and oldest friend. It was actually not at all shocking that Stephen developed a crush on her when puberty hit or that it soon afterwards became something so much more. He could never stop thinking about her, after all. Every song he penned was with her in mind or downright about her. The few times he actually got drunk it was _because_ of her dating Rogers.

And he hated how much he could relate to her Iron Maiden 2008 song _Everything And Nothing_. He certainly fit the description of such a person. He was a world renowned neurosurgeon, the most high on demand doctor, a famous and extremely successful musician that plays three instruments and yet all of that meant _nothing_ to him since he can't have the one thing he truly wants.

It was easier to focus on his day to day career in Metro General instead of reminiscencing of the days long gone when an almost too excitable seven year old Toni showed him the first exercises for his fingers before she can start teaching him his first violin song or her delight at nine when she dragged him to her baby grand for his first piano lesson or the glee that shone in her eyes as they played their first guitar chords together at fifteen and eighteen. Truly, Stephen wouldn't have been as interested in music if he had discovered it by himself because he wouldn't be able to so perfectly picture two beautiful brown eyes alight with happiness, but it would have also been a mercy as then playing even a single note wouldn't remind him that Toni was not his. That she was happy with another man. So he tried to focus as much on his surgeries and patients and papers but that path only led him to ruin. He had grown arrogant, thought himself to be invincible and so he was careless. He drove too fast, he didn't pay enough attention and he payed the price.

For so long, he truly thought that everything he loved was beyond his reach. That he had ruined himself in a single night. After all, he would never hold a scalpel again. His fingers were too weak and hurt too much to play the piano and they trembled _far_ too much for him to play a single proper note on the violin. He didn't even care for the guitar. It's not like he'd be able to hold it with his weak hands, but the guitar was something he and Toni learned to play for the band. So they could write songs and deliver them to various audiences as well as try different tunes. And on top of all of that, Toni was still not his to hold, she was not his to be the light in his life, his saving grace, his moment of sanity. She was with Rogers ...

And her gift, those gloves she had no doubt made by herself, had both made him all warm inside and rage like a caged beast because he didn't _deserve_ that kindness and tried desperately to see it as pity so as not to hurt his own damn pride so much. He had almost thrown them away, in a fit of rage and depression, but they were from _Toni_ and he could never spit on something that was her's.

Thank whatever neurons in his brain were still functioning beyond focusing on ways to fix his hands that he hadn't, or else his journey to Kamar-Taj would have been completely useless. Don't ask him what had him going all the way to Kathmandu, Nepal, but he had heard of a place of spiritual and physical healing. The place was at least honest enough to say they can't do _magic_ or make _miracles_ but that everyone who came there will always be welcome back and that they offer spiritual and mental peace as well as physical training and strength. He thought he'd never fit in there until Una Anciento, the leader of the temple complex, took him on a private trek up Mount Everest, all the way up to the top and made him consider his life and scream his frustrations out to the mountsin range.

It was the first time he put on Toni's gloves, in fear of frostbite either taking his fingers away completely or the stainless steel holding them together freezing and shattering. The strength and steadiness it gave him would allow him to play, as he discovered upon returning to Kamar-Taj, but they were no good for subtler movements he'd need for surgery. Still, Toni had returned to him one of the things he loved doing and the world suddenly wasn't so bleak. He began healing, writing songs again in the courtyard of Kamar-Taj, much to the delight of the other people there and especially Una. She found him a guitar and even a large electric keyboard and would sit with him for hours with a book and a kettle of tea for the two of them as Stephen wrote _Kamar-Taj_, _The Ancient One_ \- which was about her and amused her immensely at the play with her name - about the friends he met there like Karl Mordo - _The Bill Comes Due_ and _Always_ \- and Wong - _Library of Mysteries_ and _I'll Make You Smile_ \- and about Everest - _Surrender To The Current_ \- and about healing - _Learn To Live_ and _Above Our Demons_. He wrote about Christine, his doctor career and how arrogant he'd gotten and how dangerous driving carelessly was.

"It is as though some supreme sorcerer has cast a spell on you, that is how big the change is," Una told him when he strummed and hummed some of the songs to her absently one day. And as more and more songs piled up until he had enough for an album, the album got the name _Sorcerer Supreme_ for that joke alone.

Of course, there were a ton of songs about Toni in there, too. Of course there were. Toni was his muse, after all. She taught him to play every new instrument - or the general instrument type, anyway - that caught her fancy, after all. And, as stated before, she was constantly in his head. Stephen was pretty sure that everyone at Kamar-Taj was sick of his lovesick pinning by now but he couldn't help himself and Una knew that. So she suggested - more like _ordered_ him - that he go back to New York, record the _Sorcerer Supreme_ album, arrange to be the opening act for the Avengers, like many startup groups and artists do, and, most of all, get in contact with Toni again. Stephen tried to fight it that a single man can't be a _opening act_ since the Avengers always had a band do that when they had one but Una just had to go and call Wong and Mordo and tell him _they_ knew how to play instruments, too. True, Wong could rock the bongo drums and the gong and Mordo knew how play the contrabass, but that ... wasn't exactly what would pass for the Avengers opening act. So Stephen had to teach them how to play the more electronic versions of their instruments. Wong's transaction was even very smooth but Mordo ... Well, he was mostly in Kamar-Taj to cure himself of the rigidness of military life, especially since he had been in the marines special forces. He wasn't fond of changing what he thought was absolute. Anciento was doing her best to help him but no amount of meditation will help that man relax. He was rigid even in his sleep!

Still, Stephen managed to get him to learn to play the bass but drums, bass and guitar or keyboards won't be enough for a proper band. Which is where Una surprised them. It would appear that the rumors of Kamar-Taj going above and beyond to help their patients/practitioners were true and Kaecilius, another of Una's students who happened to have some skill with sound adapters and effects, was dragged into this mess, practically kicking and screaming. He was apparently a fanatic, a zealot in the ways of Kamar-Taj, one who would happily stay within the temple complex and never leave. He apparently lost his entire family and for the first time in years he found some peace so he didn't want to leave. He probably hated Strange when they left but he seems to be quite happy ever since they settled in the 'Sanctum' in New York. The place had as calming an atmosphere as Kamar-Taj did and Stephen had to admit it was doing wonders for his own nerves. After all, he would be speaking with Toni soon. And it helped that everyone was having fun at the recording studio, even Una who had been reluctant to come so she wouldn't distract them. They even brought her in on a couple of songs as a backup vocal! She had a really soothing voice. It was an overall fun experience and the album turned out great.

But before Stephen went to the Stark Tower to speak with his childhood friend, he visited Metro General and Christine. She had probably panicked when he all but disappeared from the hospital when she was on her off shift.

And he did get a slap and a kiss when she saw him, which just made him feel really awkward. He knew she had some feelings for him and he _did_ care about her deeply and they _had_ had an on again off again, sort of relationship before he left but in all the months he's been at Kamar-Taj, all that he'd really thought about was Toni. The world of medicine was pretty much closed to him now. He could only be a consultant since he'll never be able to preform a surgery in his life - well, that actually depends if he works with Toni on new, better designs for his gloves, really - but he could still play. He missed his violin but at least the piano and guitar have kept him in shape and up to speed with the changes in the music world, the new styles and hits. And while he'll always remain in the loop in the medical field, he wasn't sure he quite belonged there anymore. He felt like music was now his main calling and besides, he was now one of the 'masters' of Kamar-Taj and Una has stationed him and his new band, Mystic Arts, in New York.

Stephen's actually pretty sure she just wants to get rid of the four of them and their shenanigans.

Still, days passed until he finally gathered his wits - or more like Mordo kicked him out on the street and _Kaecilius_ walked him all the way to Stark Tower while Wong read a book and Una sipped tea - and he entered the most dominant, towering building in the city, went to the receptionist desk and asked for Toni. Hearing JARVIS' voice was quite possibly the most calming reminder that not everything has changed no matter how many things have and a certain giddiness and impatience took over him at the thought of standing in front of two of his closest friends again after all these years. He almost couldn't believe that he'll be seeing Toni in person again! The elevator ride felt like it lasted for centuries despite being the fastest in the country. Had to be for the ninety floors of Stark Tower to be easily acceptable.

He couldn't wait for the usual greeting he got from Toni, to hold her in his arms even if it was only platonic, even if only for a second.

Which is why the scene he actually walked in on threw him off kilter so much. It was Toni, beautiful, fiery, determined Toni, glaring at her boyfriend and hissing at him not to touch her with something a lot like hate but Rogers didn't seem to get a hint. When he went to grab her - probably again - and she pushed him back with a strength no one would expect such a petite woman to carry, Rogers got his balance back and _actually _had the _fucking _nerve to-

Stephen hadn't even been aware that he had caught the man's punch before it could land on its target, stopping it inches away from reaching his friend. Kamar-Taj indeed promised physical strength and it came in the form of martial arts. Between his new training, reflexes, protectiveness over Toni and the gloves that gave him a good, strong grip, he stopped Rogers with relative ease. The following conversation was meaningless to him besides being incredulous that someone could not know about the 12 PhDs if they knew Toni for all these years already.

But the Avengers were none of his business. He was here to talk with Bruce and Toni and their shock at his statement was perfectly understandable.

"You want to get the band back together?" Banner asked uncertainly, hesitantly, as if checking if he had read the situation right. Neither of the two seemed opposed to it, actually. They even seemed eager. Now it was Stephen who was hesitant to answer.

"While I would really like that, I've just recorded an album with some new friends of mine that helped me deal with my accident." Both Toni and Bruce flinched in guilt they had no place feeling at the mention of it, which only made Stephen frown. "I'm not sure if we're a permanent thing, given our mentor pretty much shoved us together to get over some of our problems. Still, I had been hoping for the Mystic Arts to be the Avengers' opening act on one of your future gigs. Just to test out the waters and promote the album."

Toni got this pained look on her face but it was still Bruce that answered for her. "Sorry, my friend. After today, there might not be an Avengers band to have gigs anymore. With Toni leaving, I'll be out of there too and without me, so will Thor and Lang is only a temporary collaboration partner-"

"My resignation form the band can wait until Leipzig," the woman hastily interrupted, startling both men. "It's only one month from now, so it's okay. I'll just tell my lawyers to take things at normal speed instead of express."

"Toni-" Stephen went to reassure her that there was no need for her to be putting that on hold for him but she just shook her head and gave him a strained smile.

"No, it's fine. I really want to hear you play again."

"I would play for you anytime," he told her seriously and sincerely, wanting her to not put herself through the load of bullshit that was the Avengers for his sake and this gig he didn't really care for when all he really wanted was to see her.

Toni pointedly didn't respond.


	5. Chapter 5

**If I Can't Have You**

**Summary: The Avengers are the best band on the planet, with the best gigs and the most talented musicians in the world. That was fact. The world has long since accepted it. That is until an old friend comes for two of their members and the world is shaken as an old group comes back together once again to make waves. And not small splashes. Tsunamis! Friendship, love and family go a long way to break the chains of society, after all.**

Howard Anthony Stark was an engineer, a mechanic, an inventor and a businessman, a scientific genius who can easily master some of the hardest subjects. He was in his early twenties when he built the company that will under his daughter's careful nurturing become Stark International one day. Maria Collins Carbonell-Stark was an artistic soul, a pianist with the voice of an angel and a long music career behind her when she and Howard finally met and then married. She started and maintained many charities that her daughter would continue in her name as a philanthropist. For an anniversary gift, Howard gifted Maria with an entire new department in his company, which was how Stark International became a big music production name.

As the daughter of both, Antonia E. Stark was both a genius and a musical prodigy, a very peculiar combination indeed. She learned everything put before her at an alarming speed that bespoke of an intelligence that will by far exceed her father's or her mother's skill and talent with music. At four, she built her first circuit-board all by herself with no help whatsoever as well as mastered the piano under her mother's careful tutelage - more like occasional check in to see how Toni was doing before leaving her to her own devices - and Mr Jarvis' proud gaze. At eight, when she built her first motor engine, she also started learning the guitar, already having mastered the violin two years past. At ten, she had her first solo concert as a part of her mother's charity event and she had to have a repertoire of twenty songs, ten of which had to be originals. At ten, she also proved that no educational institution was ready to keep up with her speed of learning that was bellow college level. At fourteen, Howard shipped her off to MIT while Maria used her daughter's growing popularity as a musical protege to get more popularity for her various charity programs. At fifteen, neither parent spoke with Antonia unless it had something to do with the things they needed her to do, especially as Howard was trying to drag her into the weapons designing business. Life at home was becoming impossible.

At fifteen, Toni mastered the guitar and taught her oldest friend and they started a two person band. At sixteen, that band expanded by three members and they took the world by storm through their YouTube page and small gigs that spread the word of them rather quickly. At seventeen, they had their first tour and it was a manor deal. Three big cities, two smaller ones and a pit stop restaurant along the road that they improvised when some fans recognized them. At seventeen, she graduated from MIT _summa cum laude_ and her picture was plastered on their wall of fame. When she turned eighteen, the band packed up and left the country, traveling all over the continent, then flying over to Europe, touring there before going to Asia and flying home from Japan after several dozen small time gigs. They stopped only in towns with a recording studio and stayed only long enough to record three songs. They all contributed to the song writing as they traveled in their minivan Toni bought with cash, playing and singing along, helping each other with papers and research and homework, studying together for tests and works left unfinished, spitting out definitions and formulas and numbers and facts as easily as they strummed chords and sang high notes. Whatever responsibilities they left behind they solved through computers and live-video tests. They finished their projects and would have SI curers running back and forth with a good tip to deliver them on time. They revolutionized the world of science as well as music.

At nineteen, Toni's parents died in a car crash. The police suspected her father had been drunk but the autopsy came back with zero alcohol in his blood. Obadiah Stane ran the company until she can turn twenty one but the stocks were in her hands, as was the money. Toni couldn't shut off the weapons making division of her company until she can take the reigns, but she _could_ increase the funding in the music part, which she did. She took her band in and they were just starting to get big when they started drifting apart, life taking a toil on their time and them spending it together less and less. They only really had three albums and one EP under their name when they agreed they no longer had the adequate time to focus on music. They didn't have a proper reunion or stood by each other's side until Mr Jarvis passed and they came to support Toni through her grief when she was twenty.

At twenty one, she became the CEO of SI and Toni started pulling out of the weapons making business, retracting most of the military contracts and opening new departments and divisions dedicated to science, medicine and every day technology. Stane, her own godfather and honorary uncle, did his best to keep her under his thumb and in the business, the board agreeing with him and nearly filing for her removal as CEO, but then the first StarkPhones and StarkPads hit the markets and the world went wild. Stocks broke through the roofs and there were demands left and right, all over the country. The Christmas special release had them so ahead in the game that the other companies were _weeping_. All that was lost with the closing military contracts was easily made up for and then some within half a year. Stane still fumed, but when Toni started dabbling in the medical field, creating better equipment and the stocks high-rocketed again, Stane lost most of the support he had from the board of directors. Those who still stood behind him also fell in line when Toni kept designing armored vehicles - but not any weaponry on them; those could be added by weapons contractors - body suits and other bulletproof materials, better gas masks or flash grenades, the only 'weapon' she still agreed to make. SI's political standing remained as level as it had ever been at the top and their popularity only increased with the people when Toni kept making music but also kept organizing charity events.

Things got rough, though, when production of the Jericho missiles stopped and Stane finally snapped. Toni was visiting a friend, heading through Afghanistan to Gulmira when a terrorist cell attacked, killed everyone in the convoy transporting her from the military airport to the village and nearly killing her as well. They held her for three months in a cave until Toni finished her plans and out them in place, showing them that while she _preferred_ to be a pacifist and not make things that go BOOM, she had a knack for it that was almost _terrifying_. She would have done it sooner, too, but she had not been alone and that cave will be a source of nightmares for _years_ for the twenty two year old. She came back, she wrote an album and she got her own godfather and business partner arrested for corruption and selling weapons to terrorists.

The terrorist cell of a hundred fifty people that have been evading the military for months was gone and in its ashes stood Toni Stark. The songs _Cave Of Fear_, _Flight Of Freedom_, _Set It Aflame_, _Desert Of Loss_ and _Merchant Of Death_ sent shivers down the spines of anyone who heard them. _Iron Maiden_ won her a Grammy.

No one knew what happened in that desert.

No one outside of her closest circle knew she hadn't been alone.

At twenty three, Toni learned she was dying. In Afghanistan, her heart was damaged and she had to have a makeshift pacemaker set in. The biggest problem with that was that they didn't have a proper battery so she spent a week tied to a car battery. Given they tortured her by waterboarding in an attempt to get tech or weapons from her - or maybe even money, no one really knew what had been going through those monsters' heads - it wasn't a fun time. Toni put her brilliant mind to work so she can move about with ease and prepare for the escape. Had she been alone, she would have let the car battery run out of juice and let her heart stop but she wasn't. She wasn't alone and she couldn't give up. She made a fake deal, she built a new energy source and she blew the terrorists up. But her heart was still damaged when she finally got back home and no amount of music was going to change that. In fact, singing only made things worse. The more she strained herself, the worse her condition got. Almost a year after Afghanistan, in 2009, she was dying and making what she thought would be her last album.

She had all but given up, doing her best to finish her album and then just ... Wait it out. But finding some old video of Howard talking about the Stark Expo and how he was somehow proud of her despite never showing it while he was alive ... Well, it got Toni to stop thinking about music and about Afghanistan and she started thinking about her health, solutions. JARVIS was a great help and they made a better pacemaker. Toni contacted an old friend of her's, Dr Wu, and had him give her heart surgery to accommodate the new revolutionary pacemaker. It saved her and even gave her enough time to heal for her _Iron Maiden 2/Starkenium_ concert in Malibu for the _Iron Maiden - Starkenium_ album promotion and then one in New York. Her friends hated _Palladium_ and _Starkenium_ both, but she personally loved them.

Not long after that, Fury called her in for the 'Avengers Initiative' under the patronage of Shield and she accepted, thinking this might be an interesting project. She really had no intentions of becoming a part of a band - she had her own that will never leave her heart - but she came to be fond of it and got invested. Over the years, though, it brought her nothing but grief.

The Avengers were not at all like the friends and family she'd made in the past.

Toni Stark met Stephen Strange at some weird science summer camp for the gifted or whatever it was called when she was seven and he was ten. They clicked together almost immediately, as soon as he stopped trying to play doctor and keep a doctor-patient interaction between them. Toni would very gladly claim the man was her other half, even if she didn't believe in such bullshit. She met James Rhodes at fourteen and Ho Yinsen not a whole five months later. Reed Richards was introduced to her by Susan Storm when she was fifteen and Reed sixteen and she bumped into Bruce Banner and then dragged him into her inner circle when she was turning sixteen and he was turning twenty. He and Stephen shared a class in basic medicine or whatever and she and Reed were working on a project together. Yinsen, a year older than Bruce, got into a lot of programming and medical debates with them and they all formed a friendship and bond no one could break.

When Toni Stark was seventeen, ten years after she first showed off to Stephen Strange her musical prowess, the 12 PhDs were formed as an official band. Toni had three, Yinsen had two, Stephen had one and an M. D. he got at the same time, Bruce had four and Reed had two. It was supposed to be just shits and giggles during a drunken karaoke night, but it turned out they sounded good together and had the right skill set for a band. Reed was a god on the drum set, being bendy enough to catch all sorts of complicated beats that would usually require a contortionist to reach. Yinsen was a beast on the bass, sounding good enough to be a solo act should the people ever start paying attention to the instrument. Bruce was an excellent pianist, one of the best Toni had ever heard. Stephen and Toni knew several instruments and could cover for the other band members so they can focus on singing their songs. There was an equality and respect in their band that Toni will later search for and never find in the Avengers. The 12 PhDs all wrote their songs together. The person who comes up with the lyrics either sings it or chooses who will, despite Toni being registered as their lead singer or the fact that both she and Stephen were the lead vocals in most of their songs. It worked for them and their decent sized but solid fan base loved it. They could have made music history but, alas, life got in the way and it was just not meant to be.

Still, Toni never regretted her life choices. It led her to meeting Harold 'Happy' Hogan at eighteen and Virginia 'Pepper' Potts at twenty, whom she later named her head of security and CEO respectively. It led her to meeting this interesting kid in Tennessee and then later a really excitable one from Queens. It led her to becoming friends with Dr Helen Cho and to further bettering the world of science and music and medicine.

Meeting the Avengers in 2012 and their history since wasn't ideal, but she didn't regret that either.

It had all led to this moment, after all. This moment that she had been waiting for for years. To Stephen coming back and them playing together. It was almost a dream come true!

If only nightmares of Afghanistan weren't still plaguing her.

And if only Pepper hadn't chewed her out for her decision to stay with the Avengers until their concert in a month's time just because Stephen needed a gig. At least that part she could deal with.

The guilt of Afghanistan, though ...

Toni sighed, looking down and in front of her. She felt the eyes prickling at the sight, no matter how many times she had seen it over the years. "Fuck, I really miss you, Yinsen. I mean, Stephen just came back and it's been years since his accident. You know, the one I told you about? The one that had me freaking out I'd lose him too? Yeah, you probably know. Anyway, he came back and he reminds me of back when we were still just kids, you know. All arrogance and confidence and certainty ... He really recovered. Nothing at all like Christine had described him. He's a changed man now, really. He ... He found his way to Kathmandu, of all places, searching for spiritual guidance or something to deal with the loss of his hands. You should see him now, buddy. He's not scrawny anymore. Well, I guess he never really was but it was a close thing. They seem to have been feeding him well. And he really filled out, in all the right places. You know what I mean?" She chuckled to herself, told herself her voice was strained because of the pollen in the air brought by a breeze and definitely not on choked back tears. "Anyway, he's back and he wants to play again! Together!"

A pause, in which Toni shifts a bit and settles herself in a more comfortable position. She tries not to get uncomfortable in the silence that surrounds her. She'd always hated silence. Noise was her element. Not even Afghanistan could take that away from her. Not even Raza and his men and their torture and threats of ra-

"Well, not really _together_ together, but he still wants to share the stage!" Toni rushes out so she wouldn't get stuck in those dark thoughts. "I mean, he asked me and Bruce if he and his new band could be our opening act on our next concert. You remember the Avengers, right? I told you about them." Silence save for the rustling of tree branches nearby. She fidgeted. Just as she wasn't a _silence_ type of person she also didn't do _stillness_, either. She can be silent and still when she's dead. While she lives and breathes, Toni had promised herself she'll always make noise. Otherwise, it'd be like living in an empty manor all on her own back when she was twenty ... "Yeah, I don't like them either. And yes, Rogers is a dick but ... You see, Pepper's been chewing me out for days now for not resigning from the Avengers when I said I would. Yeah, laugh it up. You know Pep's not one to piss off. Just because you've made a phenomenal career of _not_ doing it doesn't mean you won't, some point in time. Just you wait. It'll happen and I'll laugh my ass off. You'll see."

Silence once again and Toni leaned forward, putting her forehead in her hands, elbows resting on her knees. She took a deep breath to steady herself. "So, yeah, Pepper's pissed. Rhodey-bear is also probably pretty angry but he'll understand, at least. He was there for the PhDs, after all. And even before that ... " She let out the breath she'd been holding, trying to talk herself down from the potential panic attack. "Happy might also understand but he'll be anything but his name when he hears I've opted to stay one more month. Bruce is worried, like the motherhen-not-that-kind-of-doctor he is. You know how he is. But, no matter how much I myself hate staying with them, this is _Stephen_. You know what I mean, right?"

Of course Yinsen knew. He had often asked her why she had let Stephen exist her life at all, shaking his head whenever she said the doctor was better off without her in his life, holding him back by being clingy. He always said Strange _adored_ the fact that she was clingy with him since she wasn't clingy like that even with Rhodey, that he thought of it as an honor and a great privilege. Yinsen used to insist that he _encouraged_ her to indulge in the clinginess so he could cuddle with her, too. Toni had always denied it with all her might, but now? Now she'd never disagree with whatever Yinsen said _if only he could_-

"Why did you have to be in that cave?" She asked, more to herself than anything else, words not meant to be heard. Why did it have to be you? Why your village? Did Stane set that up? Or was it a coincidence?" Stane knew Toni didn't really care about her own life all that much, no matter how some paparazzi or news reporters or certain band mates liked to call her a narcissist that only cares about herself. However, Stane also knew Toni would burn the world down for one of her friends and any of the PhDs was especially likely to receive such high esteem. They had been her family more than Maria or Howard ever managed. Stane would have known that if anything were to happen to Yinsen, especially if it was because of or around her, Toni would go berserk. But he also knew that would be the only way to draw out the Stark rage and apathy towards their enemies. Maybe he was hoping that would bring her back in the arms race, if she survived? After all, Stane also knew that Starks were made of iron. They were survivors. Maybe he was placing all of his bets on killing Toni's heart in that desert so she could stand by him as their weapons made the world burn?

The mere thought made her shiver. She thought of _Merchant Of Death_, of _The Ten Rings_ and _Gulmira_ and shuddered.

"I don't know anything anymore," she admitted tiredly, hating how weak she sounded. "The world keeps turning and I'm not really getting any better and I know that and maybe that's the most frustrating part. But that's also very selfish and I've been striving to be anything but, in honor to you. I mean, you told me not to waste my life. Well, this situation I'm in right now? It sure feels like wasting the life you saved, Yinsen. I don't know what to do. I want to keep making music, always, and I want to keep helping people - fans and artists alike - be they my friends or just some random person out in the streets. I want to find where I belong but the Avengers are holding me back and I know for _sure_ that my place isn't with them. But where is it? I know where I was most comfortable and the happiest I've ever been but I also know that's not possible anymore. What should I do?" She rubbed her face tiredly and tried to keep her breathing rhythmical. Silence, as always, greeted her. Sighing, Toni finally stood up and gave a small, sad smile. "I really wish you could answer me."

With that, she turned around and left, taking all the noise and the movement with her. All of the energy and life she breathed into any room.

Leaving only silence.


	6. Chapter 6

**If I Can't Have You**

**Summary: The Avengers are the best band on the planet, with the best gigs and the most talented musicians in the world. That was fact. The world has long since accepted it. That is until an old friend comes for two of their members and the world is shaken as an old group comes back together once again to make waves. And not small splashes. Tsunamis! Friendship, love and family go a long way to break the chains of society, after all.**

James Rhodes, air force Lieutenant Colonel, one of the best rappers in the country, known by his friends as simply 'Rhodey', had known his best friend and practically adopted sister for a very long time now and he absolutely _hated_ seeing her this tense and miserable as she was, once again, forced to take _The Accords_ from the top, probably for the thousandth time in that session and for no better reason than because her 'band mates' and 'impartial producer' were getting back at her for some imagined slight against them. Well, it wasn't really imagined since Barton actually got a restraining order of twenty five feet from Strange, but still ... Barton had no right to go badmouthing people he'd only just met, especially if those people fall into the scope of one of Toni Stark's most dearest individuals in the world. The offense was small but the SI legal department were a bit overzealous in protecting their boss, which they should be, so, really, Barton brought that one on himself. And the sentence was only so light because the Mystic Arts would be performing with the Avengers so the irritating bassist had to be able to stay in the same room as Stephen, no matter how much Toni might have preferred it if it were otherwise.

The Avengers had been unreasonably smug that Toni had stayed, seeming to think that she was coming back with her tail between her legs or crawling for forgiveness or admitting defeat or whatever those delusional idiots got in their heads, and they made their smugness known by gloating. Well, Barton and Maximoff gloated and goaded Toni for staying while Rogers just kept sending her knowing and disappointed looks. Rhodey swears his best friend is a superhero if she deals with these idiots all the time and doesn't lose her shit. Had he been forced to deal with them for longer than he usually does, he would have snapped a _long _time ago, not just a couple of weeks ago like Toni had. Bit Toni, unlike these idiots, could see the bigger picture, could set aside her pride for the sake of music and those she called her own.

Rhodey only wished Strange had asked for _anything_ else but to preform with her new band.

Stephen Strange was, in fact, the only person on this whole plane of existence that knew Toni better than Rhodey did and it came from almost a decade longer of them knowing each other. Rhodey had been rather skeptic about the medicine prodigy when Toni first introduced them, having grown used to being Toni's best friend ever since he met her at MIT and took a rather protective stance regarding her in front of all of their peers. He was four years her senior and he didn't like how everyone was trying to fool or use her for her youth to get better grades or more popularity for being seen in the Stark heir's presence. He didn't trust Strange and he wasn't above admitting that he was a bit ... _jealous_ how Toni lit up like a Christmas tree when she started talking about him, fearing he'd have to compete with him for Toni's friendship.

Turns out, he needn't have worried. He could easily take the place of best friend and practically older brother. Stephen Strange was Toni Stark's soulmate. It was obvious from the moment he first saw them interacting. That didn't change for all the years that Rhodey knew the two. Toni would have plenty of jealous boyfriends who would be annoyed with how much joy some other guy brought her and would give her foolish ultimatums to choose between Stephen and themselves. Toni never hesitated and never changed her answer. She didn't even spend one second being upset about the breakup, always saying those who were already her's mattered more than those who _could_ be her's.

Rhodey also knew Stephen was, quite possibly, the only other person in the entire world to have received the approval of Howard Stark besides himself. For all that the man was a neglectful bastard, he was also a protective father. Being protective was the best way he could show he cared about his only daughter - not that it was enough, given he spent most of his days practically ignoring her existence - and so he was suspicious and disapproving of everyone in her life. Stephen, as far as James knew, was the only exception and that was only because the guy has been in Toni's life since the most innocent age and had spent a night carrying her back to their little science camp for the gifted or whatever. Maria definitely liked him and constantly thanked him for taking care of her daughter. Rhodey had never really met parents so contradictory and paradoxical as the Starks but always chose not to fry his brain in an attempt to figure out how _that_ worked. Instead, he focused his life on Toni and their friendship as they grew to be the pride and joy of MIT, Toni especially.

Rhodey only learned Toni wasn't only a technological genius when he caught her and Stephen attempting to learn the guitar in a week because they wanted to form a band or something. That was when she dragged him into the world of music, usually by making him listen to her and Stephen composing new stuff off of the top of their heads and then polishing it off with a speed that had him wondering if Toni had actually achieved her goals of creating an AI already because the thought of _two_ people of Toni's caliber in the same room was frightening. It only got spookier when they later brought in the others, too, all brilliant and amazing. They sometimes made Rhodes feel inadequate but he guessed he shouldn't try to compete. These guys were all leagues above their _professors_ and he was content to just become a rocket scientist so he can get a higher position in the military. Since Toni would be taking over SI, a company whose one of the biggest branches was weapons development, he wanted to be her liaison with the military and he'd need _some_ credentials to get the spot besides being her best friend (although that turned out to be the deciding point when she shut down the weapons division and started only making body armor, communicators and armored vehicles).

Anyway, the point was, Rhodey got to see a good part of Toni's friendship with Stephen and how her first band functioned, how free she always seemed and how her music reflected that. Toni could stay in the recording studio with the PhDs all day long or just with Stephen and never want to leave but with the Avengers ... Well, this was the first time Rhodey ever saw her looking like she wants to run away, hide in a lakeside cabin in the middle of the woods and never even _look_ at an instrument in her life again, which was saying something since she had been in this since she was a kid and she _loved_ it. If she didn't, she would have given up after Afghanistan and everything that followed, especially during the _Iron Maiden - Starkenium_ album when she was _dying_ and doing it silently so as not to 'upset' them, pissing them off as though _that_ would somehow make them miss her less. Thank whatever miracle saved her back then, really. Rhodey wasn't sure what he would do without his precious little sister.

Though, sometimes, he wondered whether they were all being selfish. Toni's fans, Pepper, Happy, himself ... Not just the Avengers. Rhodey wasn't blind to just how _tired_ Toni was and judging from the frequent worried looks Bruce kept sending her way, he wasn't the only one who saw it. Though Toni put up a good facade most of the time, she was _always_ vulnerable when she focused on music. _The Accords_ were a fitting song for the current situation in the band, singing about a divide between a group of friends and given how Toni was isolated from the rest of the band ... It was spot on and it was clear in every note that escaped Toni's throat. That was probably what was bothering the others so much. Toni's inspiration in music was life itself. It always has been. It's why it flowed out of her so naturally and made her so relatable. And it must irk the Avengers that she was preparing to dump them out of her life soon enough. They could pretend to not be affected by the threat all that they want but they knew what losing Toni would mean.

Not only would they be losing Toni Stark and all the fame and attention her name alone brought, but if Toni leaves, Bruce will as well. And if Bruce leaves, it was very likely Thor will, too. Even if the Avengers _did_ absorb Maximoff, Sam, Bucky and even Scott, none of them were song writers, meaning they would have to rely on outside sources, which will drastically change their style. They _could_ try to learn to do it themselves but it would still be a change in style easily noticeable by the fans. Toni Stark's absence will be as felt as her presence always is.

If anything, these assholes should be bending over backwards to keep Toni on their side, not pissing her off. The _only_ reason she was staying was because Stephen and his new band needed a boost for their new album. Rhodes had listened through it with Toni and Bruce a couple of days after Stephen reappeared and it didn't take a genius to figure out who was the main focus and inspiration besides Stephen's accident and this Kamar-Taj place he'd found peace and purpose in. He had always suspected the doctor-to-be was infatuated by his best friend - they _were_ soulmates, after all. They were the _proof_ that soulmates existed as far as anyone who knew them was concerned, really - and had thought it both endearing and exasperating, especially as neither genius realized they felt the same. Rhodey was kind of hoping Strange might make a move now that he was back. He wanted nephews and nieces, damn it!

Well, not that he didn't _have_ two in Harley Keener and Peter Parker but that wasn't the topic right now.

Also, if Toni gets a lovelife, one Mama Roberta Rhodes might stop pestering him about a certain blond fellow air force musician that he may or may not have found himself extremely infatuated by, himself. Truly, Toni's love drama would _definitely_ distract Mama Rhodes from her son's crush on Major Danvers. Especially since it was most probably a hopeless love. There _are_ rumors of her being in an exclusive relationship with another female pilot, after all.

_'Why is drama always a part of our lives?'_ He wondered as he watched Toni grip the mike as, once again, someone stopped playing or interrupted them because of another 'mistake' on her part. She _so_ didn't deserve this. _'These posers don't even know how to _play_, so it's not like they have any place to critique. Where's the PhDs when you need 'em?'_

And, as if he had heard him, Stephen Strange stepped into the viewing room, a frown immediately settling on his face as he no doubt noticed the unusual - to him, at least - tension in Toni's stance as she took the song from the top once again-

"Cut! Come on, Stark, we don't have all day," Director Fury sighed in exasperation as though he couldn't handle any more of this. Rhodes could just see the frown turning into a glare when the former doctor realized what was going on. Oh boy. Shit's about to get real.

"I didn't do anything wrong!" Toni finally yelled, apparently finally fed up and she had quite the timing, too. Then again, these two might as well be synchronized. Rhodey actually felt tempted to inch out of the room.

An agitated Toni Stark was bad enough on its own.

An agitated Toni Stark around Stephen Strange after all these years of not being together and finally finding each other again ... And even _before_ that, when their interactions were a daily event ...

That ... That was _hell_.

"I haven't done anything wrong in the last twenty tries, either, so either stop spewing bullshit and let me do my job or better yet _you_ do a better job and actually find the one who's _really_ responsible, if it's anyone at all, for the lack of harmony!"

"Toni," Rogers started and Rhodey's teeth ground so hard that he couldn't help but wonder how _Toni's_ weren't fine dust by now. "Don't be difficult. Just sing the notes right and we can finally move onto the next song. We're only wasting time as it is."

"She _is_ singing the notes right, you untalented _mongrel_," Stephen, as Rhodey predicted he would, snapped, drawing attention to himself. The rapper didn't miss the way Toni's whole being lit up at the mere sight of the man and he shook his head with an amused huff. If only his amusement could last longer. The Avengers were really asking for it this time. Toni will bow her head for music. Stephen will _never_ bow his head unless it's to Toni herself and he was currently fighting _for_ her.

"Excuse me?" Rogers asked, voice doing an entire one eighty from disappointing scolding to borderline aggressive authoritative. He obviously didn't know Strange's song _Another Way_ that spoke of better options than what authoritative figures present. Rogers was about to find out just _how similar_ Toni and Stephen really were. And Stephen won't step back for the sake of the band like Toni always has.

"You heard me," the ex neurosurgeon said with a scoff, crossing his arms over a plain blue shirt, almost obscuring a weird eye shaped necklace from sight. Rhodes wondered what _that_ was, though. Strange usually wasn't one for jewelry, even though it went great with the sleeveless dark blue on the chest and red everywhere else trench coat jacket he was wearing that looked almost like a cape and the equally blue pants and were those braid-covered wristbands? Dude! Talk about a makeover! He looked rather _mystic_ and _artful_. Was this a stage thing? "You were late in delivering three chords and missed one entirely while your bassist birdbrain struck his cords way too loud for a bass guitar. Everything else was spot on though the background instruments sound like an insult to the piano."

"What did you just say?" Hissed Maximoff and Rhodey finally understood what Toni meant by the crazed look in the woman's eyes she'd tried to explain to him. That woman obviously had worse anger management issues than Bruce.

"If you are short of hearing, then you shouldn't be in a band," was all Stephen said and Rhodes and Banner both had to repress smiles. Toni didn't even try, apparently delighted to finally have someone in her corner. The Colonel felt a wave of guilt crash into him. Sure, Toni _always_ insisted he shouldn't have to get involved, that she can handle the Avengers, but she would have _obviously_ appreciated some help. But Rhodey had apparently forgotten that Toni could very easily win an Oscar for her acting skills if she ever bothered to do a movie because he had actually bought it hook line and sinker that dealing with her 'band mates' didn't bother her.

He, who had known her for years, had fallen for the act so easily.

But Stephen hadn't. Stephen never will.

Mostly because Toni wouldn't even try to hide it from him. They both knew they can call each other out on their bullshit.

"Well, let's see _you_ do better!" Barton challenged, bringing Rhodey out of his rewire just in time to see Stephen arch an eyebrow. Right, as if something as easy as _The Accords_ would present a challenge to him.

"Fine. Rogers, give me your guitar. Barton, give yours to Toni. Thor, please stay on the drums. Romanov, do be kind enough _not_ to torture that poor violin any further." There was angry sputtering from the rest of the band as Stephen brazenly walked in and took the electric guitar from a very offended Stephen. "Bruce, do be as brilliant as ever. Toni, you need no directions. The rest of you get out, watch and try to learn."

Rogers went to argue but Barton scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Let it go, Steve. Let's see what the newbie can do so we can _laugh_ him out of the studio."

"Newbie?" Rhodey heard Stephen direct to Toni and Bruce before the doors closed and everyone quieted as the four inside set up. Clint fumed as Toni re-tuned his guitar and Steve had this pinched expression about himself that described his own displeasure at having Stephen 'ruin' his fine tuning that he'll have to fix later. Stephen struck a few chords when he was finished and seemed satisfied.

"JARVIS? Be a dear and record this session for later analysis," Toni's voice was heard and Fury's crew cried in outrage as the control panels in front of them shut down and turned dark, only the digital display they can't do anything about remaining on, showing as JARVIS prepared everything and set it in motion.

"One, two, one, two, three," Thor chanted while hitting his drumsticks together and the music started. It was strong and ambitious and spot on from the beginning and every note and chord and beat landed perfectly. The atmosphere within the studio had also spun an entire one eighty degrees as there was now that wild, pleased, delighted grin on Toni's face that used to set whole packed arenas on fire with excitement before the first notes filled the air. It made it all sound that much more approachable and the easy chemistry between the quartet currently in the recording room was off the charts. Stephen had definitely not lost his touch and Toni played the bass, in Rhodes' humble opinion, better than Barton had ever managed. They way they synchronized was a thing of beauty and it most certainly left the others _gawking_ as Toni Stark in her full force-of-nature element was unleashed.

And when they approached the choirs and Stephen and Toni sang together, him being her backup but a proper equal ...

Well, it was _very_ clear the Avengers had _quite a bit_ to learn.

The song definitely sounded better without any of the unnecessary elements from the violin, xylophone or metalophone or whatever. The pure sound of guitar, base, drums and piano overwhelmed every other attempt of a too large band and it made the song sound like a completely new piece. Add to it that far better musicians were participating and it was most assuredly a whole new experience. How the Avengers were taking it that such a simple song of their's was giving them so much trouble when a complete stranger could preform it without a hitch, one may ask? Oh, Rhodey was enjoying their flabbergasted expressions and disbelieving eyes, especially Rogers' as he saw a whole new dimension to the experience that was Toni Stark. With the fine-tuning JARVIS did to clear the sound from the mike and speakers, this was definitely going to be a take. There's no way _anyone_ would discard this version after so many failed ones for the past couple of hours.

When the last drawn-out chord finally died down, Toni whooped and did a little pirouette before jumping at Stephen with the same enthusiasm as ever as soon as they both out away their guitars. Stephen just laughed as he caught her while Bruce applauded them and Thor, taken by their energy, just grinned as he considered the pair.

"They're good," Maria Hill mumbled under her breath but Rhodes heard her and grinned, too, as the woman ignored how everyone turned to glare at her. She met Rhodes' eyes and he winked, delighted.

"Just you wait to hear all five of them play. The Avengers have _nothing_ on the PhDs."

Fury had a contemplative expression on his face even as everyone else cried out in disbelief or outrage. Well, except Scott, who nodded in agreement without thinking, and Bucky, who didn't give a damn either way. Rhodey ignored them and just turned towards the two long lost friends now chatting it up with a pleased Bruce and an excited Thor.

He couldn't help but wonder if this was their new start.


	7. Chapter 7

**If I Can't Have You**

**Summary: The Avengers are the best band on the planet, with the best gigs and the most talented musicians in the world. That was fact. The world has long since accepted it. That is until an old friend comes for two of their members and the world is shaken as an old group comes back together once again to make waves. And not small splashes. Tsunamis! Friendship, love and family go a long way to break the chains of society, after all.**

Una Anciento was a simple woman. Since her early youth, she had been a calm, dedicated but peculiarly mysterious person that found great joy in helping people and had a unique talent for doing it. No, she wasn't anything like a guru or those mystic people who could heal people with bio-energy manipulation nor was she a hypnotist. Una was most certainly a normal human being who dedicated her life to finding her own inner peace so she may help others find it, too. It is the principle of mental health that one learns to live above their demons once they accept they can't ever kill them. Our demons are a part of us, they make people who they are. Una, too, had once had a very hard time accepting this but once she had figured out this important truth, she found her existence can have meaning beyond just herself.

Una was, in truth, an ordinary orphan, one of millions others, out in the streets, fighting for her survival, once upon a time. She didn't steal to put food in her belly, though. She didn't beg for money or food, either. She made bargains. She would do small jobs for people, usually older ones who could do with some youthful assistance in their business or day to day tasks, and in turn she'd ask for a slice of bread. She didn't ask for a loaf, she didn't ask for a whole meal. She asked for a slice of bread. No matter the task, that's all she asked. If the task was dangerous or lasts the whole day, though, she asked for a glass of clean water as well. It was a bargain everyone was willing to take as it was definitely in their benefit. What was a slice of bread and a little water to them in exchange for a cheap worker? But for her, it was survival.

Things changed when, at ten, she stumbled upon Kamar-Taj. She didn't enter the temple-like complex, instead watching from the high walls like many other curious children. Within those walls, all sorts of people trained or just sat around with their eyes closed, not reacting to anything else. Una would later learn of the benefits of meditation, though that was not the point at this time in her story. The point was, the master of Kamar-Taj, an elderly man whose name she would never share for he was a precious memory she selfishly kept to herself, saw them and all the kids scattered. Everyone except Una, who stayed and regarded him curiously. The other kids often said the Master was scary but Una found he looked ... kind. She didn't show an ounce of fear as he approached her.

"Are you scared?" He asked, regarding her as she sat on the wall and swung her legs a little. Una had just shook his head and the Master smiled. "Good girl."

She didn't see him again until a year later when she was walking an old man and his even older dog near the complex and a bunch of teenage boys, desperate for money, jumped them. They wanted to beat up the old man until he gave them all of his money but the man was almost as poor as Una. They tried to scare her away by showing off the sticks and rocks they had with them but Una wouldn't back down. She fought them as well as she could when they attacked but a rock hit her head and made her bleed and she got dizzy. She feared the old man and dog would be beaten to death by the ruffians and she tried to stand up to continue fighting but she was too weak from the little food she always ate and the blood loss. Una thought she'd have to carry that poor old man's death on her head but the boys ran off before they could hit him once. The Master was there, at the end of the street, a scary scowl on his face. He helped the old man and Una into Kamar-Taj and treated her wounds. When she felt well enough, Una left without a goodbye but she _did_ bring him some wold flowers in the dead of the night as a thank you. The next day, she saw them proudly displayed on what she knew to be the Master's windowsill.

She ran into him a couple of more times during the next year but she never approached him and he only offered her a smile in passing. That, once again, changed when he saved her from being beaten, this time by some drunken gamblers in the early hours of morning. She never asked what a girl was doing out at such an hour. He never questioned why she had shaved her head and never let her hair grow again since that day. The third time he saved her, Una had nearly died of cold one winter, having thought her sleep on the streets that night would be her last. Instead, she woke up late in the day, three days later, with the Master checking her temperature. She had just blinked at him and he had smiled.

"You will be just fine, child."

Days later found her wandering around the complex, drawn inevitably to the groups training martial arts. She tried mimicking them and while it could _look_ like the movements of the others, Una knew it was wrong. The Master left her to it for a week before he approached her himself.

"I wish to learn," was all Una had said and waited for his response.

"Then learn to live above your demons." And as such, Una spent an entire year learning to do just that, to find that inner peace she would later teach dozens of people to locate within themselves. She forced herself to let go of the events of what made her a street orphan - _her mother lying unmoving on the floor, her elder brother crying in pain even as he tried to protect her from the same fate, her father's cold gaze and the sickening snap as her brother went limp, head at an odd angle, the glint of a knife, the shards of the bottle of sake she threw at his head protruding from his injured scalp, the cabinet of liquor overturned, the fire reflecting off of the snow as she heard his cries of pain from within the burning house, the stench of burnt flesh and ashes and alcohol as ahe turned her head away and fainted, still holding the box of matches_ \- and focused on the life she had led since, the people she had helped. One day, the Master sat in front of her and said: "You are ready."

And so began her training. The Master - _her_ Master - took her as his personal student. He taught her the movements and then criticized her form. "Clench the muscles in your arms," he would instruct, pushing them away with ease. "You may be a woman but you have strength. Show it to me." And then he had turned his back to her and fell right on her outstretched arms, instructing her to hold him up with his form. "If you prove to be weak, if you falter, I will fall down and split my skull on the rock under our feet. I will be dead in seconds." And he just leaned on her like that, for hours and hours and hours to no end. Una's arms had ached. She remembered tears of pain and frustration sliding down her cheeks but the thought of her Master's death made her grit her teeth and hold on. At sundown, the old man finally stood up straight and Una collapsed to her knees, staring at her hands through tear-glazed eyes. "As I thought. You have a strength in you that you were not even aware of, my child. After all, you have carried such a burden for so long. Now use that strength, Una, and stand up. Grasp your fate with your own hands and steer your life into the direction you desire." When she barely got up to her feet, he steadied her and gave her a gentle smile and a caress to her bald head. "Rest, now. We start sparring tomorrow."

Years later, in her late twenties, her Master died, gave her his surname and declared her _his child_ and his successor. Kamar-Taj was hers. The responsibility and burden was hers to carry. Una found it filled her life with meaning. She saved so many people from depression and self-destruction. Widows, grieving siblings and parents, people diagnosed with depression regardless of outside influences on their life, PTSD, rape and crash victims, the poor and the rich, even those crippled with diseases and public rejection for political or personal choices. Kamar-Taj accepted all. It wasn't easy. It shredded her heart to see so many people in suffering. She hated that she could not save them all. She tried to save as many as she could.

Wong came to her first. He was an orphan boy much like she had been. For all that he lived in the streets, he always looked well fed, making other orphans jeer at him, call him names, try to hurt him and the such. He was only a couple of years younger than Una. She brought him to Kamar-Taj even before she became the new master of it. Her Master welcomed him and she was the one assigned to be his teacher. It was a rough journey, as he did not trust her and refused to show emotion. However, once she taught him to read, he began to lighten up. He had apparently found his calling. A few years later, she found him practicing to play the bongo drums that he learned from one of the books at Kamar-Taj and with the help of the internet. Wong integrated nicely.

Karl Mordo was not as easy. He was a war veteran for all that he was so young. He'd spent his youth on his father's campaigns after his mother died of some disease. He was rigid and followed orders and rules to the letter. Una had no idea how he found Kamar-Taj but she welcomed him. He was her first student since she became master. It took her years to help him let go of his demons enough to no longer be drowning in them, though martial arts and physical strength came easily to him. He still had bad days sometimes, but he was not all hard, sharp edges. His father had loved music so Mordo had endeavored to learn to play an instrument. He chose the contrabass for he liked its low, deep tunes and said it was an elegant instrument. He rarely played for others, even her. His respect for her, though, was such that he'd grant her a song should she ask for it.

Kaecilious was a lost and broken man when she one day found him in the town beyond Kamar-Taj's walls. He was a good ten years older than her, driven near mad with grief. He had lived and loved and lost and there was nothing left for him in the wake of his family's death. He had been searching for a high enough point to jump and end his life when Una took him to Kamar-Taj, offering him healing. Now, Kaecilious might have become a bit of a zealot but he had managed to find his way. His family's death still haunts him but he managed to find a new meaning in his life once he finally realized death was only natural and a part of life, what gave _life_ meaning, to know that your days are numbered and that it was too short a time but that you managed to make a difference even if in only one person's life. She would only later learned that he used to work for small-time gigs with small stages for up-coming bands.

Stephen ...

Well, it was unfair but it was the truth.

Stephen was by far her favorite student.

He had come as broken as broken can be to Kamar-Taj, knowing he was wasting his life while wallowing in self-pity, refusing to consider suicide out of pride and _love_, refusing to leave Kamar-Taj before he learns to be _better_. A healer and helper of men by nature, Doctor Stephen Strange was a man of many passions that he often tried to suppress or life itself has already done so for him. Ever since he arrived in Kamar-Taj, he was one mystery after another, passion after passion unraveling. It was not just his neurosurgeon career that he had thought ended the day of his accident. No, it was his love of music and the woman his heart desires, to whom his last connection in the world _was_ music. He was not like the other people who come to Kamar-Taj. He clung to his pride with a ferocity and yet that didn't stop him from being humbled. He just let go of his arrogance. Though it _did_ take a trip to the top of Everest for that lesson to set in. Still, Stephen was by far the student that most reminded her of herself. He was scary with how quickly he learned. As soon as he accepted that he can't control _everything_ in his life and that some things were just meant to happen to give one a new perspective, he easily became one of the teachers. He had a naturally calm and calming continuance about him that he must have practiced as a surgeon and his former experiences were of helping people heal. He fit right in like none of her students or even herself before that could.

She often wondered how her Master would have felt about Stephen. Would he approve? Because Una was pretty sure she'd just found her successor.

Stephen's playing and composing in the courtyard became the favorite pastime of everyone in the complex after only a week. Una was not blind to how many people gathered when they saw her carrying a tray of tea for two. She herself couldn't deny she really liked listening to Stephen strumming and humming along. He was not shy about his talent. He didn't need prompting to sing and his lyrics always reached deep into one's heart.

It was also really easy for her to realize he missed the woman most of his songs were about, old and new. He himself admitted to a deep, genuine admiration for her, which was why Una pestered him so much to go back for her. To express how he feels.

"Love is one of the few things that give life true meaning," she'd told him one day, when he had this far off look in his eyes and the guitar sat limply in his hands. "In whatever form it may come. If she is so dear to you, you should tell her. Even if it is only to express how much your friendship means to you and how much it has changed and shaped your life. Not all love must be romantic. Not all confessions are. Platonic love is severely underrated but I think you two might understand that best, as your friendship seems to have deep roots. Perhaps it is the time to dig deeper so it can grow even stronger. You will find it will give you even more strength than you already possess."

Stephen had been, of course, very reluctant but had accepted in the end. And once they landed in New York, he stalled for days on end. But then he finally went to confront what was quite possibly the only love he _couldn't_ recover from losing forever and he returned a changed man.

Not for the reasons Una might have wanted for him, unfortunately.

But he returned carrying himself with strength and confidence befitting a king and a fury so viciously burning within him that Una actually feared he will indeed set aflame.

When she had seen him like this, Una felt for the first time like she understood why some people were compared to storms and other devastating forces of nature. Not even the overly brave soldier Mordo nor the zealot Kaecilius dared approach him when they saw his rage. Only Wong, who was somehow the closest to him, approached him and Strange ranted to him for an hour, swearing heads will be rolling if he ever walks in on something like he saw again.

He didn't take it lightly when his loved ones were mistreated.

Though Una figured she understood why he had raged so much as she watched a band rehearsal of the Avengers and her very own Mystic Arts. Her boys were, of course, spotless, finishing everything up with a professionalism only one half of their thrown-together band actually possessed but the Avengers ... Well, they, too, were split down the middle or perhaps in even more groups. The original lineup of six most definitely had a large rift between them, one side containing the lead guitarist, violinist and bassist, the other being filled up by the lead singer, pianist and drummer. The group that had been added on had two people deeply rooted in believing Steve Rogers was always in the right, a man who looked ready to go on the run and never come back with how uncomfortable he was, Toni Stark's best friend and adopted cousin, Toni Stark's two pseudo-adopted sons and what appeared to be an avid fan of the 12 PhDs. Add to that one uncertain looking T'Challa and one bored out of her mind Carol Danvers and you had quite a mix. James Rhodes and Viz Jarvis, the nephew of Stark's old butler from what she understood, were standing firmly away from the other Avengers, behind Toni as the two main halls argued for the third time in the past hour, though it was more like Stark was doing all the arguing while Banner and Odinson stood as her backup. The two boys who were Stark's pseudo-adopted sons, Harley Keener and Peter Parker, had come to visit, apparently, and refused to leave the woman they viewed as family while she argued with her band mates. They were cute but vicious little things for a pair of teens. Scott Lang didn't even really know why he was present and tried to be neutral.

Needless to say, her own students were less than impressed. Stephen looked seconds away from committing several murders and the rest of his band seemed like they would be all too happy to help him hide the bodies.

"The great Avengers," Mordo finally sneered, glaring at the lot of them with disgust. "Squabbling like a bunch of children. Oh, how the mighty have fallen."

"You wanna repeat that, pal?" Barton, the most aggressive one of the group if one did not count the very much disturbed Maximoff by his side, growled at Karl, whose sneer only deepened. "Why don't you speak up and say it to my face?"

"Certainly. You. Are. All. Spoiled. Squabbling. Immature. Children. How the mighty have fallen," he repeated without hesitation and Una sighed when she noticed both men ready to duke it out with their fists. And given the strange - no pun intended - new camaraderie that her students had built up on this little adventure, she would be very much surprised if Kaecilius, Wong and Stephen didn't jump in after Mordo should a physical confrontation develop. So she was quick to come to stand in between her students and the Avengers, sending both bands reprimanding glances she had learned worked better than any harsh glare.

"You are _all_ acting like spoiled children. Cease at once." And because she could see the Avengers puffing up to 'put her in her place' for interfering in this posturing match, Una turned to their lead singer, who had stopped arguing as soon as an opportunity arose. How very interesting. Though, on closer inspection, the younger woman seemed exceedingly too tired for someone not even in their thirties. Even the exuberance she had displayed by jumping into Stephen's arms upon his appearance now seemed like it had happened centuries ago and not earlier that day. Una had to resist the strong urge to drag Stark to Kamar-Taj and do everything in her power to help this woman overcome her demons. Her inner peace was definitely disturbed and lost and in need of immediate finding. But she figured Stephen would be better suited for the job and instead smiled at the brunette. "Hello. It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Toni. Stephen won't stop talking about you."

The stand off became completely forgotten as Stephen sputtered indignantly at her back for ousting him like that while Toni just tilted her head the slightest degree as she regarded her. "Pleasure to meet you, too ... "

The bold woman smiled and offered her hand for a shake. "I am Una Anciento, the Master of Kamar-Taj. I have brought you Stephen back. I hope you will take care of him."

"Una!" The man in question shouted more in embarrassment than anger, apparently mortified to be listening to this conversation. How cute. He acted like a school boy with his first crush. _'If only it were that simple.'_

Recognition flashing across brown eyes, however, drew her attention back to the woman who was now letting go of her hand. "Ah. _The_ _Ancient One_. Well then, the pleasure is all mine!" At the curious brow Una arched, Stark just chuckled. "I don't need Stephen to _talk_ about you. I can judge the type of person you are based on his song about you. Love the word play, by the way," she called over Una's shoulder to her embarrassed and flustered childhood friend with a wink Una was sure would only make things worse for the blush no doubt staining Stephen's cheeks.

Deciding to spare her students, herself and everyone else the headache continuing this posturing match would inevitably bring, Una smiled at Stephen's secret beloved in invitation. "Would you like to join me for some tea? I have _many_ stories to tell you about Stephen from his training days at Kamar-Taj." She didn't need to be looking at him to know Strange's eyes were wide and his face ashen. What was he expecting? Una saw all her students practically like her own children or relatives if they were too close to her age or older. She may _look_ young but she was pushing her mid fifties. Stephen very well could have been her own child and considering she was debating leaving Kamar-Taj to him, he might as well be the son she never had. And a mother's main job besides raising her child is to embarrass them in front of their crush and friends. She may be late on the first part, since Stephen was irrevocably in love with Toni, but she thought it still counted.

And Toni just grinned, seemingly catching on to that though there was a genuine sort of curiosity there as well. "I much prefer coffee, but yes please."

"You have yet to try my tea," Una countered and Toni laughed, leading her away from the practice area with unabashed glee.

Una made sure to wink at the _horrified_ Stephen on her way out.

This may turn out to be more fun than she thought.


	8. Chapter 8

**If I Can't Have You**

**Summary: The Avengers are the best band on the planet, with the best gigs and the most talented musicians in the world. That was fact. The world has long since accepted it. That is until an old friend comes for two of their members and the world is shaken as an old group comes back together once again to make waves. And not small splashes. Tsunamis! Friendship, love and family go a long way to break the chains of society, after all.**

Nicholas Fury, despite having lost an eye to an infection caused by an injury in the days before he started his civilian career, was not, in fact, blind. And even a blind man would be able to see with clarity how rapidly their most critical members of the Avengers were rapidly distancing themselves away from the rest of the group. Namely one Antonia Stark, who was indeed the most crucial part of the group trying to leave.

Fury might have always sympathized with Rogers more because he himself had been a soldier for their country, he had shed sweat and blood and risked life and limb for it, but that had never prevented him from acknowledging that it wasn't Rogers' name that sold tickets or albums. Guitar solos and an average voice aren't what people are looking for these days, especially with Rogers' old style more fitting for a small time gig in the veterans association center and a retirement home than a stadium full of young people. Somehow, Rogers got a very old fashioned soul and while in a band as crazy as the Avengers he might fit, anywhere else and especially on his own, his efforts wouldn't be enough.

Stark, on the other hand, was a household name even before she got the moniker Iron Maiden. As the only daughter of a frankly terrifyingly influential power couple, Toni Stark had all the doors for her opened but she had never settled for that. Instead, she blew all those doors off of their hinges and blasted through what's left of the door frames so none of the doors could ever be closed again. Not even a deaf person would say she lacked talent and even her most bitter competitors had to acknowledge that she was a genius worth of every praise. For all that Antonia got everything handed to her, she was the one who reached out for more and grasped it with her own skill and strength. She made her father's company three times larger, she entered several new fields and dominated them unchallenged. She took the world by storm and never said sorry. There was not a person on Earth who wouldn't recognize Toni Stark on sight. Not between her charities, her music, her military contracts or her ingenious inventions and scientific discoveries.

If Stark were ever to leave the Avengers, she might thrive so much she'll outshine them to the point that they will be bleached out of people's minds. She'll never suffer from leaving the band, even if they spun it so as to look like she had been kicked out of the band. No matter what reason they might give for it, the world wouldn't believe them. Not when Stark had connections _everywhere_ and those same connections will denounce their claims as soon as they come out. Any attempts to try it would only ensure that the Avengers go down in flames.

Fury was almost tempted to try it, because at least the Avengers would be remembered.

If Stark leaves quietly, the band and all they've done will flicker out like a lone candle in a light breeze.

He didn't hate Stark. He actually held a great deal of respect for her, despite not always showing it. No, Fury just knew she had a great deal more of untapped potential hiding behind the front she had built up as the frontwoman of the Avengers. He'd looked her up after Colonel Rhodes mentioned her former band. The 12 PhDs were a scarily good band with an enormous following considering how little time they spent as an official band. He'd seen the dynamic. He'd seen how Stark can shine like an actual fucking star taken down from the heavens. Small portions of it still appeared every now and then whenever she saw Doctor Strange these days or when she's so stuck in composing songs with Banner that she forgets everything else. It's easy to see why that band was so popular. With Stark shinning and singing like that, like she never wanted to leave the stage and the microphone behind, the energy she exuded and shared with her band mates ... The Avengers could indeed learn quite a few things from the 12 PhDs. They were an even more unique band, given how it was formed and whom it consisted of.

One thing was for sure, though. Stark was pulling away and the only reason she had stayed for the _Civil War_ album and concert seems to be Strange wanting to promote his new band's new album. They, too, were a very interesting group, based and built mostly on respect towards both their teacher and towards each other. They were together for only a couple of months and yet they got along better than the Avengers ever could. That Kaecilius guy might get a bit aggressive and Mordo might be too rigid but Wong was impassive no matter what shit was happening and Strange seemed to be the glue sticking them together with how calm he was. Well, calm as long as the Avengers weren't fighting amongst themselves again and by that he meant Rogers, Barton, Romanov and Maximoff, occasionally Wilson, too, trying to gang up on Stark. Thor and Bruce always stood in her corner, as did Rhodes and Viz, but they always left her to fight the battles on her own.

Which made sense, in hindsight. She _was_ an actual _diplomat_ and practically _politician_. She dealt with harder opponents for her company than the Avengers, especially as Barton used to be a part of the circus, Steve was an art school dropout and Maximoff never even finished high school.

Fury sighed, watching as the Avengers rehearse on the big stage for their concert, getting familiar with the venue. When he had assembled the band, it had been with an idea. He'll admit Carol inspired him to believe music can make a change and he had thought a strong group would be the right way to deliver powerful messages. Their songs did, of course, the credit all deservingly going to their composers and song writers, Antonia and Bruce. And while the band _did_ get _somewhat_ along at first, they quickly lost all sense of camaraderie. No amount of band bonding exercises or movie nights could achieve what Fury had envisioned. Carol sometimes scolded him for trying to push them into a mold of his design by force, but she didn't quite understand. _Four_ of the six band members _would_ allow themselves to fit the designed mold. One could be persuaded.

Toni Stark, though, fit no mold but her own. Like her father had taught her since she was a little girl and reminded her _many_ times, Starks are made of iron. Toni took it to heart, it seems, as she forged herself into the shape she liked and quenched. And her iron was high quality and her skill was impeccable. She won't bend or break. She won't cut her edges to fit the mold he was trying to put her in as an Avenger. It was an exercise in futility. Stark's fitting in was only a mask that dampened all of her charm and Fury had seen that only now that he had studied some old videos and pictures from her time with the 12 PhDs.

And now she was finally breaking the mold they had pushed her in to. There were cracks all over the place and Fury feared everything they had built up for the Avengers will go down the drain.

He figured most of it was actually Rogers' fault. The idiot should have known better than to shove his tongue down Stark's cousin's throat when he was trying to reconcile their almost ended relationship. And he should have definitely known better than to question Stark's loyalty. She may have been a playgirl once upon a time, before Afghanistan, but she had always been loyal. She never cheated. Maybe things wouldn't be so irreparably falling apart if Rogers had just kept his shit together.

As it was, Stark no longer walked over to him as she sang or danced around him. There was no more playful interaction with the rest of the band, either, except Thor on the drums and Bruce on the piano and they were practically in the background. The fans might not notice if Stark sends them that same grin she had shown off in the recording studio when she had played with Strange, but after the concert's over, _everyone_ will be analyzing the performance and they'll realized and questions will arise like a storm. And when Stark announces she's left the band ...

It will all come crashing down, Pompeii style.

And there was nothing any of them could do to stop it. Banner won't hold her back; he'll leave with her. Thor wouldn't care either way. There's been rumors he was trying to build a band with his brother and some other artists. Lang - what the hell was Rogers even thinking, trying to draft that guy!? Pym nearly had Fury's head and Ms Van Dyne might as well have been sharpening knives with the glaring daggers look in her eyes - would probably support her as an avid fan of the 12 PhDs and Barnes and T'Challa would go back to their own band. Maximoff will throw a party, not even realizing just how much the band would be losing with Stark's departure and Stark would flip off anyone else from the band if they tried talking her out of staying.

Fury had thought about asking her himself but he hadn't been easy on her during the recording for this album.

The only one who could make a difference would be Strange and the man will laugh him into the next century if he tried asking him to convince her. He would probably throw a parade if she left. It was clear as day he was not fond of the Avengers.

The director sighed again and massaged his forehead. "This is not working," he muttered to himself but apparently the band had stopped practicing and were all staring at him so they all heard him clearly. And Nick could just make out how fucked they were when he saw most of the Avengers nodding along. Barton opened his big mouth and beat him to the explanation itself before he could maybe somewhat salvage the situation.

"Yeah. Put on a bit of a show, Stark. No one came to see you shuffling from foot to foot. Add a bit of flair, show some skin, shake your ass. It's what you're good for, right?"

"Excuse me?" Was it cowardly to flinch at the deadly whisper that hissed out through Antonia's grit teeth? Because that tone sounded more dangerous than he had ever heard come from the petite woman. They'd never actually had _reason_ to encounter the woman who had written _Gulmira_ and _Merchant Of Death_. That side of Stark had stayed pretty much wrapped up for years now.

Clint Barton, oblivious, suicidal idiot that he is, only rolled his eyes and huffed. "It's not like you do much else. You flaunt your 'legendary Stark ass' and entertain the crowd by acting like an 'exotic dancer'." And it was clear he didn't say something much more insulting and vulgar only because they were _all_ growing annoyed with Rogers' constant 'Language!' reprimands. Barton usually did it for shits and giggles to get on the blond's nerves, but Fury was grateful for the restraint this time as Toni already had this dangerous glint in her eyes. Nick did not like it. "Don't start acting coy now, Stark. No one's buying it. We all know your type. We're not new to your history or your character so stop pretending to be some virgin maiden or something and start shakin' that booty."

The growl that escaped the watching Colonel Rhodes might as well have been inhuman and the Vision looked downright scandalized. Mr Parker, one of the boys who looked up to Stark like a mother, the more polite one, looked horrified and Fury thanked his lucky stars that the other one, Mr Keener, wasn't here today or else he would have flipped his shit. Thor looked outraged on Antonia's behalf and Banner wasn't far behind, looking like he didn't know whether he should be angry or insulted.

Antonia, though, was quiet.

Fury didn't like that.

A quiet Toni Stark was _never_ a good thing.

"He's partially right, you know," Steve Rogers, the idiot who didn't know how to keep his fucking mouth shut these days, just _had_ to pipe in and Fury, Coulson and Hill actually _backed away_ from the stage when a dark look settled in the lead singer's eyes. _'That can't be good.'_ Forget the lawsuit Barton got last time. Stark's lawyers will chew the Avengers up and spit them out.

"Rogers-"

But Steve ignored him, continuing, facing his ex girlfriend head on. "You purposefully dress the way that you do so men would stare you up and down. It's all about ass and hips with you, Toni. You don't care about our music and the message we're trying to get across." The three people usually managing the band between themselves exchanged uneasy glances. It was usually _Hill_ that directed their designers the outfits Stark should wear so as to make her as pleasing to the crowd as they could so more people would turn up. Yes, they were appealing to horny perverts but it sold tickets as easily as Stark's name did. But it's always been _fashionable_. They were making it out as though they put her in sex-slave type of clothing. Or a hooker's. "If you weren't rich, people would think your in the band because of ... less moral reasons."

"Captain, that is enoug-"

"And what's _that_ supposed to mean?" Most of the room actually flinched back this time at the vitriol obvious in Antonia's voice. Fury, though, was horrified at the implications. He had tried stopping Rogers but he should have done so sooner. Rogers had just dug their own grave. _'I wonder if I could go back in time and join that terrorist cell? Death by Toni Stark's explosions ought to be faster than whatever she'll have planned for us after this.'_

This time, Maximoff threw petrol to the fucking flames and the three manager figures wondered whether they should ask Mr Hogan, Stark's bodyguard, for his gun to end their own miseries. This was slipping _way_ out of control. "It means that you're a slut who sucked dick to get where you are today." She said it so casually, with an eye roll and crossed arms and even a _huff_, as though she found it insulting Stark wasn't aware of this 'fact'.

"We're dead, aren't we." It wasn't even a question. Hill didn't have to make it one. It was the obvious outcome. _'If only.'_

"Guys-" Coulson tried to intervene when Stark dropped her mike, letting it hit the floor and that horrible sound produced by the action to deafen them for a moment, making everything and everyone go _quiet_. The stage hands that had been preparing everything in the background stopped their work with a wince and turned around to look at their boss - it _was_ supposed to be on the Stark Expo grounds like every other album revealing concert had been for the Avengers, after all.

Toni just gave them her most press-worthy smile that chilled the blood in their veins. "I'm going to burn you to the fucking ground and watch the flames reach for the sky with the same satisfaction I had when burning the Ten Rings. I hope you enjoy your last concert, dipshits. It'll be _damnatio memoriae_ after all." And with that, she turned around and gestured for Parker to follow her, which the boy scrambled to do. She swept out of the room and it was as if she took all of the air in the large stadium with her. Fury actually wondered if he was experiencing the beginning stages of a panic attack. For a former soldier, he hadn't really experienced many of them in his lifetime.

Instead, though, he whirled around to the gaping Avengers, opening his mouth to yell at them, only Colonel Rhodes' scuff beat him to it. "Oh, you're screwed now." That was all he said before marching off after his best friend with the Vision being quick to follow, not wanting to stay back with them for a moment longer than absolutely necessary. And with Stark backing out of this project, he can leave, too. Banner just shook his head at them.

"I'd say you're screwed now but Rhodey pretty much covered that already so I'll spare you. Though nothing and no one can spare or save you now. You've stepped over the line. And Toni doesn't like that." With that, he nodded to Odinson, Lang and Carol before he scurried off after the people he was most comfortable with. The silence reigned right up to when the man disappeared from sight before Fury finally found his voice.

"What the _fuck_!?" The Avengers actually flinched along with everyone else when he roared at them in a manner _very_ befitting of his name. "What the actual fuck did you morons _do_!? Do you have _any_ idea what this means!?"

"So what? We finally got rid of Stark," Maxomoff scoffed, sounding extremely proud of herself for doing it. Fury felt a migraine the size of Everest developing in his head. "We're only going to be better off for it without her. She was holding us back."

"Besides, she'll come crawling back soon enough. She did it every other time. What's to say now will be different?"

Coulson's mouth was thin as he regarded Clint with disapproval. "Because every other time, someone got her to come back. Ms Stark would have left that day during the recording session had Doctor Strange not asked to be your opening act. She stayed so he'd have a gig for his new band. There's nothing holding her back now."

"Stark doesn't crawl back. _Ever_," Hill supplied and Fury massaged his forehead. "She marches. She struts. She dances. She doesn't crawl. _Ever_. And when she decides she's done with something? No one can change her mind."

"So we'll just convince her to come back. Like we always do."

All three people that manage the band shared an incredulous glance before Fury looked back to Rogers like he had grown another head. "_You_? You _never_ got Stark to come back. If any of you ever tried, we'd have lost her before we even _got_ her. To her, the Avengers were an experiment she found unsatisfying. The Avengers will be nothing more than a footnote in her biography and do. You. Know. _Why_? Because _you_ motherfuckers fucked it all up! She was _willing_ to work on one more album with you! She would have left us be! Now, we're going to be less than ashes!"

"The Avengers are stronger than Toni," Steve insisted and Fury was tempted to go jump off of the top of the stadium to spare himself.

As Stark would say, _sweet science_.

00000

A phone was ringing on a bedside table, making a man jump in surprise right out of bed, tumbling to the floor.

"Honey? You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just the phone startling me." The man mumbled back only loud enough to make it through the door, running a hand through thick, chestnut hair as he groaned.

The phone kept ringing, making the still groggy man groan even more, bemoaning his fate even as he fumbled to reach his phone. When he finally got it, he had to blink blearily at the name flashing across his screen. He actually thought he was still dreaming. Accepting the call and bringing it to his ear, he barely got out a hoarse "Hello," when the caller spoke with a familiar voice he had not heard outside of the media and the music industry in years.

"_Reed? Meeting at the old place, at the old time. See you soon._"

"Reed?" A blond woman asked after the dial tone was the only thing reaching his ear. He looked up at his wife and she hesitated at his befuddled expression. "What is it?"

" ... I think the PhDs are coming back together."


	9. Chapter 9

**If I Can't Have You**

**Summary: The Avengers are the best band on the planet, with the best gigs and the most talented musicians in the world. That was fact. The world has long since accepted it. That is until an old friend comes for two of their members and the world is shaken as an old group comes back together once again to make waves. And not small splashes. Tsunamis! Friendship, love and family go a long way to break the chains of society, after all.**

Toni was both surprised and not at all when, at five o'clock in the morning on the dot, the old shut down factory Howard had stopped using before she was born was suddenly not so devoid of life as her former band mates and the friends she will consider her closest for life suddenly walked in from their various favorite entrances from their teenage days. She guessed she should feel really no surprise at all. They _had_ promised each other that no matter what may happen, where life might land them, if one of them ever calls for a meeting at their old place, at the old time, they'll be there. Hell or high water, they will _be_ there. Promises made at three in the morning are never to be broken and all that.

Toni's heart still dropped when one of their group didn't come, despite knowing it was impossible for it to be any different.

Most people would think a bunch of college students would _never_ agree to meet up before at _least_ nine in the morning, everyone believing that students studied all night long and then slept through a good part of the day. That had never been true for the group that made up the 12 PhDs. In fact, they were all semi-insomniac, though that was more by choice than some sleeping disorder or stress or whatever. Toni could get lost in her tinkering and if left undisturbed, she could spend _days_ in her lap slash workshop living on coffee and packs of blueberries she kept as snacks lying around. Reed would be just as bad if not worse if they weren't wary of leaving him alone and unsupervised around dangerous sciency things for longer periods of time. He nearly blew up the labs at MIT once. Bruce could be just as bad, especially if he has a science binge with her. They could distract each other for hours with sweet, glorious science until one of their two resident doctors comes to remind Bruce that he _too_ had a degree in medicine and should have known better before they were dragged out. Stephen could go through several books, especially the ones on medicine, at a time seemingly without blinking. The rest of the band usually dealt with him by dumping _her_ after a three day binge in her workshop and his own three day binge of books into his lap and watching doctor mode take over as he would start berating her and then they'd cuddle straight into a deep slumber and then drag each other out to eat after they made up for the sleep they'd been losing.

Their last member was the sane one. He usually noticed he was pushing the normal limits of his body after thirty two hours of no sleep and he would step back from whatever he was working on, check on his insane friends and usher whoever was reaching the unhealthy limits of work to eat or sleep.

Five o'clock in the bloody morning had been the perfect time for all of them to gather and hang out for a few hours before they had to get on with their day and their responsibilities/research. The rest of the students always thought they were robots Toni herself built, so there were all kinds of crazy rumors flying around back then.

"Hey guys!" She couldn't help but greet a bit excitedly, a genuine smile stretching across her lips as she took them all in. Neither Bruce nor Reed were surprised or offended when she ran straight into Stephen's waiting arms and semi-cuddled him right there and then when he caught her. They were all very well familiar with their antics and their long friendship, so they knew to wait their turn and they knew not to expect the same treatment. Which was good because Reed had noodle arms and she'd bowl him right over even if she was petite. "Thanks for making it."

Reed smiled as he took his turn to hug her. "Of course, Toni. What are friends for?" He then shared hugs with Stephen and then Bruce after she was finished with her fellow former Avenger. "It's great to see you all again. Especially you, Strange. You kind of pulled a disappearing act on us a couple of years ago. Drove this one up the walls with worry," he pointed at her and Toni wasn't even ashamed when Stephen arched an eyebrow at her playfully. They all knew Stephen had been a wreck when she'd gotten kidnapped in Afghanistan, after all. "Still, can't help being curious, though. What's the occasion?" Toni couldn't help but feel her mood dampen at the mere reminder as to why she had called for this meeting. She had been planning to do it either way, perhaps after the concert when everything was finally settled and she left the Avengers for good, but what had taken place yesterday had been her breaking point and she wanted nothing more than to burn the Avengers to the ground and salt the Earth behind her. Something must have shown in her expression because Reed suddenly looked worried. "Shit. It must be bad."

Reed Richards was one of the geniuses that Toni met and became friends with during the course of her crazy life. They actually met when a teacher thought it would be interesting how they would react to each other, probably hoping they'd be at each other's throats or something, completely disregarding the fact that education wasn't a jungle and there was no fight for survival or whatever - that man had been crazy. They didn't immediately hit it off, more interested in the lab experiment they were to participate in, but then they made the same observation out loud, at the exact same time with the exact same words and they finally acknowledged each other's presence, registering the smaller age gap between each other and the rest of the students in the lab and _then_ they hit it off, talking science at top speed, excited to find someone of similar intelligence and drive and curiosity. He was only a year older than her and they both understood the burden of being young and brilliant. They never even really caught each other's name, too busy trying to get it all out, but then a few weeks later, Susan Storm, Reed's girlfriend at the time, introduced them officially to each other because Reed was bemoaning that he couldn't find his one time lab partner anywhere and Susan wasn't nearly as oblivious so she knew who Toni Stark was. They both became close friends with Toni and her group when she then introduced them. There's just something about accumulating geniuses in one place that made them fiercely protective and loyal to each other.

Of course, with Reed came his friends - read family. Only they were still thick enough back then to insist otherwise but they had no more excuses once _Susan_ proposed to the ever oblivious Reed. Toni had had the honor of being the Maid of Honor and yes, the pun was intentional - which meant getting used to Johnny flirting with her - he had a disturbing similarity in appearance to Rogers - and then watching the younger man cower before Stephen's glare. The two had once even gotten into a fight - Johnny was like a living torch all the time and Stephen had a pretty explosive temper towards whoever is new in their overall dynamic - and Stephen had fought dirty, being _this_ close to breaking the younger Storm's arm in a way that would never heal back up to be like it used to be - _never_ pick a fight with a doctor, especially a genius, photographic memory gifted one if you want to recover from it. "There's a _reason_ doctors took the Hippocratic Oath, Johnny damn it!" As Susan put it perfectly - had Ben Grim, Reed's big best friend, not stepped in to drag the two apart. Johnny, for all that he's a daredevil and an outrageous flirt, with women, danger and _death_, never dared flirt with Toni after that. She found it immensely amusing that Stephen managed to scare him so thoroughly.

Then again, there _was_ a reason only Tyberious Stone was brave - or stupid and suicidal, depending on who you asked - enough to try asking her out on a date. Howard, for all that he was a rather neglectful parent, thoroughly approved of the way Strange kept his only daughter's chastity safe until she turned eighteen. She really never did understand that man.

Either way, integrating Reed into their circle had been quite an adventure.

Bruce, though, was another story entirely. He was as much an overachiever as Reed and Toni but he had some special anger management issues to deal with. Toni and Reed were avoided because they were young and brilliant and tended to descend all too easily into scientific babble or even just pure techno babble most of the time. Their friends could follow parts of their conversation but the advanced physics they would start discussing at some point would drive anyone away. Hell, Strange tended to take out his medical books and lose himself in his own little world if it meant he wouldn't be subjected to them. Bruce, though, was avoided because for a long while, he tended to shout and break things when his temper flared. Toni had been the first person he met that wasn't intimidated by his temper but was instead fascinated by his mind since he could keep up with her even in fields Stephen, Susan and Rhodey couldn't. And the most bizarre thing of all was that despite his temperament, Bruce was actually shy as all hell back then, too. Being friends with the other members of the PhDs gave him a firmer backbone and they even helped him ask his long time crush Betty Ross out on a date. Toni had actually thought she might be _Bruce's_ Maid of Honor - or maybe it would have been called Best Woman? Because there was no one closer to Bruce than the woman who dared _poke him_ the first time they were alone in a room together and then continued to drag out the sarcastic smartass which every genius possesses inside themselves - but they broke it off, unfortunately.

Toni hadn't exactly been thrilled by Banner's second choice of girlfriend, though, as Romanov really wasn't the type of person her Science Bro should be with but he had seemed less sad so Toni had let him be and kept an eye out for the redhead's usual tricks. That still wasn't enough to keep Bruce from the heartache of betrayal but she had a feeling his breakup with Dr Ross had still been much more painful than the one he had with Natasha. And that must sting the corporate spy's ego.

Toni had been rather gleeful to inform her of that particular law suit being served to her _again_. Neither she nor Fury learned from their past mistakes.

You _don't_ fuck with Toni Stark and not feel it.

And you _definitely_ don't fuck with people Toni Stark calls hers. That's a recipe for a disaster.

Anyway, the point was, the 12 PhDs always had each other's back. No matter what it may be - relationship problems/advice, needing a gig, help on a project, help to study for a test, suing the pants off of whoever's pissed you off, punching a guy in the face, extracting shrapnel from your chest cavity and helping you develop an electromagnetic pacemaker, blowing terrorists sky high, helping you go to space for research, steadying your hands after severe nerve damage or potentially, hypothetically hiding a body - they would always be there for each other. The burdens of being young and brilliant or just brilliant and the leading forces of your field(s) is what had brought and kept them together so Toni _knew_ \- like she had always known she would _never_ have it with the Avengers - that she had their support, that they had her back. She knew they would be there for her.

It's why it was ultimately so easy to make the decision and she'd be surprised if Bruce hadn't joined her for the very same reason.

"I'm quitting the Avengers."

Her declaration was met with both surprise and eager support. Surprise mostly because Toni has made herself, very publicly, the main spokesperson regarding keeping the Avengers Initiative an ongoing project even after the 'Fall of Shield', as the press had oh so dramatically titled it. Eager because they all knew, from personal experience upon seeing her interacting with the band or from reading her body language whenever there was a coverage of the Avengers and they all wanted her away from that toxic relationship. Reed may have never met the Avengers in person but they all kept silent tabs on each other and after years of friendship, he'd have to be _blind_ not to see the difference between how Toni was with the PhDs and how she was with the Avengers. The difference was night and day and they had all expressed how concerning they found it.

"What brought this on?" Stephen still asked and Toni knew better than to tell him the implications and the downright accusations Barton and the others made. This is the first time four PhDs were in the same room together after so many years. She didn't want Stephen landing himself in jail for murder, after all. Even though they'd all go in right with him for helping him hide all the bodies.

Figuring it was probably for the bast that she doesn't say anything so her voice won't give her away, she signals Bruce with a nod and he takes over the explaining. "The Avengers have crossed certain lines on our last rehearsal together. Things were said that should never be said. Implications were made. Toni quit. I quit with her. Rhodey, Viz and Peter also dropped the project. I don't know what all of this means but ... " He shrugged, sounding nonchalant as he probably wasn't when he finished. "Toni promised to make them _damnatio memoriae_."

"You salting the earth?" Reed asked and Toni loved that he sounded faintly approving.

"Is there any other way to deal with it?" All three men snort at that and Toni grinned. But then she turned somber and looked at Stephen, wondering how to tell him what she has to say. "Listen, Stephen, I'm sorry about all of this. I know you wanted your new band to be the opening act for the Avengers, but maybe the Mystic Arts can-"

"It's fine, Toni," the man interrupted her, giving her a reassuring smile when she tried to continue talking, somehow beating her to it. "The Mystic Arts were Una's idea, anyway. Kamar-Taj has this policy of going above and beyond to help the people who come to them recover from whatever it is that has brought them there in the first place and it just so happened that I couldn't stop blabbing about you." Was that a blush Toni saw? Or was it her own wistful thinking? "So Una kind of insisted I come back in a big way so we can meet again. Wong, Mordo and Kaecilius were sort of just dragged along, though I won't deny we've all enjoyed being a sort of band. You don't need to worry about it. I'm not even sure if they wanted to continue being a band after the album and the concert. It was more of a bonding and recovering experience for us and a chance for me to get back in contact with you. I really missed you, Toni. I missed what the PhDs used to be, too." Toni wasn't the only one blushing from the genuine words. Though she was blushing for being singled out while Reed and Bruce were just shy nerds. At least married, family life hadn't changed Reed too much. Toni wondered if Sue minded or if she still found him an infuriating, lovable dork. She would place her money on the latter. "So don't worry about the concert. I think just this past month has been more than enough."

"Actually, the concert's still on," Toni finally said, doing her best not to stare at that sweet smile Stephen was directing at her. She hadn't seen that one since before the PhDs went their own ways. "There's still a bit more than a week until the concert. We still have time."

"I don't understand," the former neurosurgeon admitted, frowning at her. Her other boys were curious, too. Bruce only knew she had something planned for the concert, not what or how. He just knew it won't be good for the Avengers.

"I told them I'd make this concert their _damnatio memoriae_. I intend to keep that promise," Toni explained, coming to stand in between the men that automatically formed a triangle around her. It should have been a square but Toni didn't dwell on it. She wouldn't allow herself to. Not now. Not until _after_ the concert. And maybe not even then. She's trying to move forward. It's been long enough. She won't ever let it go, yes, but she also won't let it drag her down anymore. No more drowning. It's time to fly. "And what better way than to outshine them at their own concert? Before I leave them in the dust, that is. Although I think the people will get the message way before the main part of the concert starts."

She saw the three of them exchange looks that spoke a thousand words without them ever needing to be outright said. There's no need for words. Not within the PhDs. Not between friends who have entrusted each other with their most vulnerable parts through music and stories time and time again. Toni knew that every single one of them would drop everything to be there for each other if one of them ever called. She knew she'd burn the world for them if they asked her to. This was them. This was how they worked. She had thought every band can work like that, given she only had two to draw experience from and both had this same vibe. This same trust and deep bond.

"Should we ask how you want to do that?" Reed asked at last, all of their eyes turning to their only female member.

And Toni just smiled.

"I want the PhDs to play as a part of the opening act."


	10. Chapter 10

**If I Can't Have You**

**Summary: The Avengers are the best band on the planet, with the best gigs and the most talented musicians in the world. That was fact. The world has long since accepted it. That is until an old friend comes for two of their members and the world is shaken as an old group comes back together once again to make waves. And not small splashes. Tsunamis! Friendship, love and family go a long way to break the chains of society, after all.**

"Still no sign of Stark anywhere. Are you _sure_ this is where that tweet placed her? Because we've been searching for an hour now. She might have left already."

"No, there's been a few more sightings. She's still here. We just haven't found her yet."

"The tweets say she's with Strange, though. Are you _sure_ we should be messing with her right now?"

"Yeah, I second that. She was kind of scary the last time we saw her and you kind of pissed her off."

"See! He's reasonable!"

"Oh, would you two pussies just shut up already and keep searching. Stark's missed the last two rehearsals because, what? She wants to go shopping? Someone needs to put her in her place and that's unfortunately fallen to us."

"You're not even supposed to _be_ around Strange, let alone get in his face when he inevitably comes to Stark's rescue."

"Just shut your tarp, Barnes, and keep looking." Bucky just rolled his eyes at Clint and Sam and purposefully looked towards the ground in front of him like Scott has been doing nervously from time to time, probably just to be contradictory because he and Sam always rib each other and he had simply never felt comfortable around Clint. Steve knew that they'll eventually come to be good friends but Bucky was just having difficulty to reconnect with ordinary, non military people and that, too, will pass with time. Still, he seemed to be getting along with Scott fairly well, though that might be because they were both the newbies in the band. Steve would have still liked it better if everyone could get along but he figures the thing with Toni was to be blamed for making so many complications.

Just the thought of his ex girlfriend tired him out and drew a frustrated sigh out of him. He loved Toni, really he did, but she could be such a pain in the ass sometimes that he had wondered why they had always tried so hard to stay together. He doubted Toni could really care about someone more than she cares about herself. Still, it was a shame. She was a really good singer and he can't deny she treated her fans right. Well, as far as her fans were concerned. She just used them for more publicity and popularity in the end. Just like she used the Avengers in much the same manner, enjoying their combined fame and then calling it her own and even daring suggesting _they_ were the ones doing it. Steve knew it was probably just her trying to get back at him for that one mistake he had made in kissing Sharon. It's not like _she_ hadn't kissed other people while they were still together. Though it was on the cheek. At least the times he knew of it.

Steve just sighed again, trying not to give himself a headache from thinking about Toni right now. Clint and Sam were right. They should focus on finding the woman and dragging her to rehearsals. There was only a week left until the concert, after all. Now was not the time to be indulging Toni's ego, as Natasha would say, or adhering to Fury's paranoia. The man had tried to convince them with Hill and Coulson not to approach Stark again for fear of some form of retribution coming down on them, which was just ridiculous. What could Toni do, really? Sue them? Sure, she had sued Clint but it was a small offense that was probably even ruled in her favor because of her money. But she'll never be able to harm the Avengers as a whole. She didn't have enough sway to do them or their reputation any real damage. There were plenty of rich girls but there were only one Avengers. What they brought to the table was so unique there was no way anyone would ever get bored of them or forget them. Toni was just throwing around empty threats and a temper tantrum while delaying their rehearsals that they need for their soon to be coming concert.

Steve was dragged out of his thoughts when he bumped into a boulder of a man, nearly knocking him down on his ass while the other man only grunted. "Hey watch it!" And he was apparently temperamental, too. Steve opened his mouth - to apologize or to berate the other man for his rudeness, he did not know - when from behind him out stepped a guy who could have easily been Steve's twin brother only with way shorter hair and a weird looking 4 that awfully reminded Stephen of the Avengers' A brand on his left breast of the leather jacket he wore.

"Easy, Big Ben. It's not his fault he's blind." And the guy said it all with a sarcastic, sunny smile that awfully reminded Steve of the way Toni smiled whenever she's about to tear a reporter a new one for asking stupid questions or throwing around nonsensical comments. "Remember what we're here for. Sue will _eviscerate_ us if we cause a scene."

"Since when do you know such big words, Johnny?"

"Since geniuses started invading our living room again," the shorter, Steve-look-alike answered as the two guys walked away, not so much as asking if Steve was okay.

"What an ass," Clint grumbled, glaring at their backs as the two strange men walked away.

Natasha, though, just shrugged. "It's his brand. Johnny Storm is showy, flashy and a downright living torch. The only ones he shows any respect for are his sister and their built family."

"I can't believe we met _the_ Johnny Storm. He's like one of the best daredevils in the world!" Scott all but gushed, completely ignoring the fact that the man had just dissed Steve, his band mate, in front of him not five minutes ago. "He was literally _on fire_ for 90% of his stunts. He does cars, motorcycles, parachutes, paragliding, water skiing, surfing, water scooters, bunji jumping and some parcore! Do you think he'll give me his autograph if I asked? I hear he's great with fans."

"I think I prefer the Devil of Hell's Kitchen. Murdock, or 'Daredevil' is definitely one crazy dude and he's _blind_," Bucky countered and Steve frowned as the two got into another pointless debate about pointless things. Bucky was a soldier. He should know better than to believe those fake videos that a _blind lawyer_ makes in his free time.

"They mentioned they were here for something else and someone they called 'Sue'," Wanda pointed out, returning to the right topic for discussion, ignoring the two apparently immature members of their band for the time being. "What do you think that's about?"

"Well, I don't know anything about what they're here for but Sue can only be Susan Storm-Richards, Johnny's older sister," Scott, apparently taking interest in their conversation and pausing his debate with Bucky, pipped in. "She's some badass blond scientist. Went to MIT, if I remember correctly."

"Wait, did you say Storm-_Richards_?" Nat repeated, a suspicious glare being directed at poor Lang, who shifted slightly behind Bucky. Which was preposterous! Nat wasn't going to hurt her own band mate!

"Uhm, _yeah_. Storm is her maiden name. She married that guy that went into the mesosphere and lived there for five years with his family? You know, Reed Richards, drummer of the 12 PhDs?" Scott suddenly stops, a look of awe spreading across his face. "Oh my god, do you think I'll meet Reed Richards, too!? That will be four out of five 12 PhDs members! No one's seen more than two in one place for _years_ and that's only because Stark and Banner are a part of the Avengers. Well, _were_, but you get my drift."

Steve was about to correct him that they still _are_ Avengers and that they will always be but Natasha interrupted him. "This is too big of a coincidence. Stark, Strange and another supposed former member of their disbanded group in the same place at the same time?"

"Yeah, that does sound suspicious," Sam agreed and Wanda snorted.

"They're up to something." And no sooner than Clint's statement was finished, music started blaring through the speakers, followed immediately by a familiar voice.

_Seem like everywhere I go, everybody wanna know  
What's it like to be a girl in the music world_

"Toni?" Steve couldn't help but ask when he recognized the voice. Anyone would recognize the billionaire's voice on the first note. She had one of the strongest, most attention attracting vocals in the business and was famous world wide. _Everyone_ knew her voice, evidenced by the excitement that suddenly spread through the crowds of the mall they had come to search for Toni in. Squeals about Toni Stark and Iron Maiden and the Avengers quieted down when the rather bombastic song continued. It was one Steve had never heard before, so he knew it wasn't any from Toni's Iron Maiden albums. The people were as confused as he was. Steve wondered if it was a cover but all thoughts fled his mind as the lyrics started pouring out and registered in his brain.

_The scene is so sexist, believe me I get it,  
We'd probably sell more records if I flaunted my ass and chest but forget it_

"It's coming from over there!" Wanda yelled, pointing at the far end of the mall. There were groups of people running over to see the spectacle and Steve was almost floored when he overheard some people passing them by talking between themselves excitedly and disbelievingly about 'them being back', which made not an iota of sense to Steve, so he hurried with his band and pushed through the crowd to get to the front row so he can see the hastily and yet perfectly set up stage.

What he saw there had his jaw dropping and nearly deafening him to the screaming fans around him.

_I work like one of the boys, and I'm as true as they get  
But I'm a lady through and through, like give me some credit_

There stood Toni, center stage like always, but there was _nothing_ flashy about her outfit save the glowing, one of a kind pacemaker on her chest. In fact, she was dressed in camo-like sweats with a tight black, long sleeved shirt which, while hugging and showing off her curves, was not trying to be a sex appeal. Her hair was down, there was not a hint of make-up on her face, her fingernails weren't painted and she wore _sneakers_. She looked like she had gone out for a jog, not like she was preforming on a stage.

But she was on the stage, sharing it with three people Steve was starting to think existed for the sole purpose of making his life difficult. He hadn't even _met_ the man behind the drum set, but he'd recognize Strange anywhere, even if he was no longer in the suit he wore last time but instead in faded jeans, gray shirt and a black cardigan, a combination that shouldn't look so good and yet the arrogant man pulled it off. Bruce, too, was dresses in a way none of the Avengers had ever seen before. He had an AC/DC shirt on under a sports jacket resembling a tux but obviously wasn't, jeans and a pair of designer runners Steve didn't doubt cost more than his apartment. And the third man, probably the Reed Richards Scott had mentioned, seemed to be wearing some really tight pants and an equally tight shirt, blue on white, as well as some blue leather gloves or something as he beat away at the drums.

_I knew I'd regret it if I tried to blend in and pretend be something other than I am  
Like have you noticed I'm a woman_

Toni was mostly standing in the same place, though her hands were gesticulating like when she rambles at them. Steve had never seen her this relaxed on the stage, though. It nearly reminded him of that one session where she and Strange had replaced him and Clint and chased out everyone except Thor and Bruce. Steve actually gaped when she indicated the entire length of her body with a challenging glint in her eyes.

_Didn't come to downplay it, or to play it up either  
And I'm not trying pick a fight or be nobody's leader_

"Looks like Toni is back," a female voice commented beside them and Steve turned around to see a blond woman with those two guys from before standing with Rhodes, those two boys Toni all but adopted and Ms Potts, who should probably be at SI instead of here. A bit away from them were the Mystic Arts, watching the show.

"About damned time," muttered Rhodes and turned a very unpleasant grin at them.

_But it feels like everybody's just a little too interested  
In the fact that females can indeed make music  
Our interviews, our bios: they all make it a point  
"Female-fronted band from Decatur, Illinois"_

Steve's head snapped back at the mocking intonation to those lyrics, eyes widening when he saw Toni staring right at the Avengers, at him, a fury in her eyes that disappeared as soon as she looked out towards the crowd.

_And just once, I'd like to see some other band's resume  
Go out of their way to say they're fronted by a male, OK?  
And while we're on it, let me say  
Women don't all sound the same  
Who gave us the idea that "female-fronted" is a genre anyway?_

She actually sounded _insulted_ by the mere notion of it, almost disgusted. Steve wondered if this was an old song or if she had cobbled it up with Bruce because the truth of Clint's and his words hurt.

_Seem like everywhere I go, everybody wanna know  
What's it like to be a girl in the music world  
Wanna make it disappear, tell 'em what they wanna hear,  
If truth ain't pretty will you all stay with me?  
Will you love me, love me ugly?_

That was the first time she started dancing, but it wasn't anything refined. If anything, she was just bobbing her head and stomping her feet. Completely unladylike and unfitting for the stage but a good part of the crowd didn't seem to mind at all.

"Oh my god, thank god they're back!"

"Who are they?"

"Don't you know? They're the 12 PhDs! The best band _ever_!"

"Toni Stark used to sing with them, way back when, before the Avengers were ever a thing. I was so sad when they announced they wouldn't be preforming together anymore."

"Well, they _are_ the leading specialists in their own fields and most of them _do_ have _several_ fields."

"They're really good. How come I've never heard them before?"

"They disbanded over ten years ago."

"Do you think they're back for good?"

"God, I hope they are. I've never heard a better band than them."

"Yeah, Stark's current band is shit. She would be better off solo."

That last comment actually made Steve highly offended and he had no doubt that his band mates were feeling the same, but the next bout of lyrics beat them to any protests they might have made.

_And I know it's not fair, and I can't complain,  
'Cause with a girl in our band, people don't look away  
But you know what? It feels like they look just a little too long  
Stare me up and down, forget to listen to the song  
I take the stage and before I even open my mouth,  
The audience assumes that they got us all figured out_

There's an actual _sneer_ on Toni's face as she sang these lyrics, so unlike how she was always sunny smiles unless a song was serious or sad. She'd never showed anger or disgust. Though once she sang the lyrics, Steve can understand the expression perfectly.

_"Oh your band's got a chick, must be some kinda trick.  
There's no way she got this far without sucking somebody's."_

Every male occupant of the ever growing audience actually reeled back. Well, the ones that weren't the 12 PhDs fans, anyway. The fans all mouthed the lyrics along or grinned when Toni spat them.

"She's a surprisingly good rapper," Nat noted and Rhodes turned to throw her a knowing, smug grin.

"She taught me everything I know." At their stunned expressions, the Colonel cackled. "Tones always says I'm tone deaf but that I have impeccable rhythm and a sense for the beat. I'll never be able to sing but I can rap circles around everyone else in the states only because Toni took the time to teach me."

_Did you really think that's how it works, I'm not fucking eye-candy  
I'm here to do my job, I'll be the last man standing_

They all kind of jumped out of their skins when Toni stamped her foot before walking - more like _stalking_ \- towards the edge of the stage, a strange glint in her eyes as she regarded the crowd.

_Boys in crowd asking, for me to flash them, well here you go, news flash:  
You're ignorant and that's that  
I bet you'd never say that to your little sister_

And, once again, every man in the crowd jerked back while the females were all gaping at her. Apparently, no one had ever thought of it like that. Steve, though, had _no idea_ how to react because the next second those sharp eyes were on him and him only. Well, maybe him and Clint.

_The media's got you all jacked up, little mister_

And ... She might be right. The comments he and Clint had dropped _were_ inappropriate but they hadn't earned _this_ response.

_'Cause girls in my position can perpetuate the cycle  
Walking a tightrope, don't know which way to go  
Hypersexualize or downplay your femininity  
Dress like the dudes, or pray to God that you're pretty  
Are you kidding me? And I don't even know who's to blame  
Beauty sells, I buy it too, I'm trying to sell it back it you._

_Seem like everywhere I go, everybody wanna know  
What's it like to be a girl in the music world  
Wanna make it disappear, tell 'em what they wanna hear,  
If truth ain't pretty will you all stay with me?  
Will you love me, love me ugly?_

The crowd seems to be loving it, though. All the criticism, the lack of a real show, the easy camaraderie between the four on the stage, the way Strange and Toni seem to gravitate towards each other, the music so unlike Iron Maiden's usual style. A feeling of dread seeped deep into Rogers' bones as he recalled Toni's words.

The music became softer somehow and Toni looked as if the lights were off except the spot light that was on her. That was the feeling of the room, the atmosphere as things quieted and the crowd fell silent.

_So tell me, what's a woman to do? No, scratch that  
Tell me what's a human being to with the fact that  
What gets us ahead just holds us back more  
Is a level playing field too much to ask for?_

Toni had a lost, far away look in her eyes and Steve wondered what had put that look there. This ... This didn't even seem to be about the song anymore. He will never deny that he didn't feel music as intimately as his ex always did but this expression on her face ...

"Oh, Toni," he heard Ms Potts lament and he turned to look at her even as Toni continued.

"Why haven't we ever heard her sing this?" He couldn't help but ask, trying not to think about the haunted way Toni looked at that moment.

"Because she wrote this song on the behest of a man who saved her life at the price of his own," the blond woman, no doubt Susan Storm-Richards, replied, a sorrowful note to her voice.

Steve flinched. For all the years they've been dating he had never known that Toni owed her life to someone or that she might be suffering from survivor's guilt.

_And I know that by saying it, I'm bringing attention  
To an issue that might be better left unmentioned  
But someone's gotta say it, gotta call out the scene  
The scene is obscene, my sanity's split at the seams_

The music picked up again in an explosion that blew away the heavy atmosphere and Toni started shifting her weight from one foot to another and bouncing on the backs of her heels, arms crossed over her chest, the microphone brought to her lips as she was once again defiance personified. She almost looked like a boxer ready to fight if not for the crossed arms.

_So to all of ya'll making this just about ass and tits  
Here to set the record straight, it don't gotta be this way  
We can change the game, re-arrange the way to fame  
And make a bigger deal about the talent than the face  
See, I got little girls watching me, wanting to be like me,  
And I wanna show them that they don't gotta be like me  
They can do their own thing, they can re-write the rules  
They can get respect without acting like fools_

And again it all slowed down, Toni walking backwards without a glance over her shoulder, keeping eye contact with the crowd, stopping only when she stood side by side with Strange and Banner, who had probably switched settings on his keyboards to get the sound that accompanied her singing and made it sound almost ethereal.

_So let's not make it harder than it has to be  
I'll keep making music, you stop asking me  
"What's it like to be a girl in the entertainment world?"  
'Cause now you know_

There was a pause. A pause in which Toni's eyes glazed over and Steve swore he saw a single tear creep down from the corner of her eyes before the music exploded again and Toni started doing that funny little dance again, though he'll have to admit it was fairly fitting for the song and its message.

_Seem like everywhere I go, everybody wanna know  
What's it like to be a girl in the music world  
Wanna make it disappear, tell 'em what they wanna hear,  
If truth ain't pretty will you all stay with me?  
Will you love me, love me ugly?_

The crowd was loving it and it would seem everyone had picked up on the chorus, because they were all singing along. And any pity Steve might have felt for Toni when he saw her looking so ... strangely _vulnerable_ on stage moments ago was swept aside as he realized there was nothing genuine to it. It was an act. Steve had always marveled at how good an actress Toni was. And now she was using those acting skills to rail up the crowd for her own selfish purposes, to get back at her _band_, her _family_.

_'I won't let you get to the Avengers, Toni. Even if I have to fight you.'_ He tried to get the message across to the woman on stage but she seemed to be completely oblivious to his existence at this point.

_Seem like everywhere I go, everybody wanna know  
What's it like to be a girl in the music world  
Wanna make it disappear, tell 'em what they wanna hear,  
If truth ain't pretty will you all stay with me?  
Will you love me, love me ugly?_

The cheer of the crowd was deafening when the music finally stopped and Steve had to cover his ears. He had never hated hearing the chants for more from a crowd than in that moment. Toni was smirking at the people from high above, as though she thought they were beneath her, mike in the air and blowing kisses left and right. There were chants of all four names equally and Steve wondered _how_ that was possible. Whenever the Avengers preformed, the only name chanted was Toni's, occasionally Banner's. None of the other members were ever mentioned.

"Thank you, New York!" Toni said over the noise, enticing the crowd more. "Not bad, huh? I'm guessing by this spontaneous turn up that we've still got it? Do we fit in?" Only more cheers, though there were many denials to the band fitting in, as though they stuck out like a sore thumb. Then again, considering the song they'd just sang ... "Glad to hear it, New York. Now, we, as in this band, have a very big announcement to make!"

The crowd was suddenly deathly silent in a way Steve had never heard from a mass of people before. The entire _mall_ was silent, not even snapshots from phones sounding off as Bruce leaned forwards and brought Toni's mike in her hand towards his mouth. "As many of you have no doubt heard, there will be a big Avengers concert next week and we have announced something we very rarely do. We'll be providing you with an opening act."

"Not one, but two, along with acrobatics from none other than Johnny Storm and several guest appearances. I won't be saying any more names, but one will make you feel like you're flying and the other _will_ be flying." As Richards finished from where he leaned over the two shortest band members' shoulders, the crowd erupted into more cheers and applause. Steve felt cold all over. The comeback concert that was supposed to be all about the band ... It was being turned into a _circus_!

"Expect some good music and some good entertainment. We'll be expecting you," Strange took Toni's hand to say and fucking _winked_ at the crowd, which actually made someone swoon on Steve's free side and he had to side step them lest they fall on him.

The smirk on Toni's face said it all and it spelled bad news for the Avengers whatever it is she was going to say.

Oh, but it was worse. It was _so much worse_ than Steve could have ever imagined. Because what Toni said was ...

"We are the 24 PhDs and we approve of this message."


	11. Chapter 11

**If I Can't Have You**

**Summary: The Avengers are the best band on the planet, with the best gigs and the most talented musicians in the world. That was fact. The world has long since accepted it. That is until an old friend comes for two of their members and the world is shaken as an old group comes back together once again to make waves. And not small splashes. Tsunamis! Friendship, love and family go a long way to break the chains of society, after all.**

Had he been any less of a nice person, Bruce would been cackling right now.

Once upon a time, the 12 PhDs were a big deal, a band so unlike any other that they were the center of attention wherever they went and it wasn't even only just because of Toni Stark being their lead singer. No, they were all bright young people with an even brighter future ahead of them. They were the leading scientists in over a dozen fields and they were revolutionizing the world one discovery/invention/procedure at a time. Put the five of them in the same room and leave them there for a few months, it was quite possible they'd conquer the world if they weren't interrupted by anything or anyone other than their biological needs. And music wise? Well, they were all geniuses. Their brains were unrivaled.

And their close friendship made them perfect for a top chart rating band.

And after just _one_ song that was written a _long_ time ago, they were _back_. They were back in the game. And the whole world was talking about it before the day was up.

The Avengers' weren't even mentioned in connotation to their concert. Everyone was talking and speculating about the return of the PhDs.

And Bruce was _loving_ it.

In his humble opinion, it was about damned time that Toni stood up for herself against the Avengers and showed them just whom they were dealing with. She'd been deferring to them for far too long and it was refreshing to see her shine in her old blinding light, charm oozing in waves and capturing the attention of anyone who may bother to pay attention and everyone _always_ pays attention to Toni Stark. It was one of those laws of life and nature. She was bigger than life, after all. When she entered a room, she drew all the attention to herself whether she wanted to or not. She was simply that kind of person.

Add to that the fact that three of her old band mates were there, especially one former neurosurgeon, and she was shinning brighter than the sun, despite the fact that Fury was forcing them to go to the theater for some team building or whatever and she had to be in the presence of the Avengers. Reed, Susan, Ben and Johnny were all there, too, since they were their friends and also a part of the concert one way or the other. So were Ms Anciento, Mordo, Kaecilius and Wong, though two of the three men didn't looked pleased at all. Vision, Peter and Rhodey were chatting about something or the other and sticking close to Bruce and Toni. And Toni? Well, the first thing that should be mentioned is the fact that she probably hadn't even noticed the Avengers when they greeted her or Fury when he snapped at her to at least try to _appear_ like everything was alright while they were in the public eye.

And why should she? Her hand was at Stephen's elbow with the same ease they had displayed numerous times at fancy parties and formal events or even just when they forgot about the world around them and would be whispering sweet science in each other's ear. From the bits and pieces Bruce's heard so far, they were talking about improving the stabilizing braces for Stephen's hands and applying similar technology for far worse cases. Bruce will admit that he was a bit jealous Toni got to hear in detail the process of reattaching nerves and neurons as well as of Stephen for getting to listen to Toni's theories about how mechanic limbs could be connected to already existing nerves and giving people whose only saving grace had been amputation a second chance to live a normal, unimpaired life. But he figures he can forgive them this time. They were bound to drag him and Reed into their little project since they were back together, even if only _maybe_ temporarily. He figured it depended on how the concert went and how they feel about it afterwards.

"I'll go buy tickets," Steve sighed in that disappointed way of his that usually grates on Bruce's nerves but he found greatly satisfying right now. The blond was probably still not realizing the enemy they have made in Toni. The others pretty much have. Four days to go to the concert and Natasha had dyed her hair blond and cut it short and did something unspeakable to her eyebrows that they now looked near nonexistent. Clint apparently followed her lead and went and got a mohawk, which just looked ridiculous, as well as some interesting tattoos. Thor refused to speak to any of them, glaring at the group and Bruce still snickered when he recalled Thor's tale about how the others nearly forced him to cut his long, golden hair had it not been for Loki walking in on them and drawing those wicked sharp knives he carries around with him _everywhere_, _all the time_ for whatever reason but they proved useful as he threatened to dissect them all right there and then. Loki was a bag of cats type of crazy and a little violent, but Bruce liked him. He at least always knew what he wants. Anyway, if there had _ever_ been any doubt that Thor will be leaving the Avengers after Toni and Bruce, it was solid fact now.

Rogers actually went and got a more modern looking haircut instead of that forties style that always made Toni complain to Bruce about giving her (disgusted) chills, the fashion diva that she was. And Maximoff had went and bought herself a tighter corset, seeming to believe that will be enough to draw more attention to her.

Seeing as the picture of Toni in the combination she wore for their impromptu comeback performance still circulated the Internet in the hundred millions with the tag #sexiestwomanalive, it wasn't going to have the desired effect.

Scott, Bucky and Wilson didn't try. The former two because they don't want to compete or simply because they were returning to their own bands soon and Wilson couldn't really make any such changes unless he wants to shave his head and beard. And as for T'Challa and Carol ...

Well, Rhodey had been staring when his fellow army pilot strutted in with her cool new hairdo and T'Challa had actually arrived in a suit for whatever reason. And he had a date with him. Nakia was a really nice person, though, so no one minded.

Bruce was brought out of his musings when Toni suddenly jerked to a stop and with her, Strange too, and he nearly ran into the taller doctor. He frowned and looked over Toni's shoulder to see what had caught her attention and wondered if he should groan or grin at what he saw.

"Okay, I got us all tickets for Grease and we'll be all sitting together- Toni? Where are you going? You didn't take your ticket!" Steve called after her as the petite genius dragged her childhood friend along. Not that Stephen wasn't as eager as she was, though. _Everyone_ knew _that_ musical was their absolute favorite and that they _both_ despised Grease with a passion usually reserved for hating Justin Hammer, Toni's 'corporate rival' who tried dabbling in music to get closer to her or get back at her or whatever it was he thought he'd get from a mediocre performance and a cheap, empty, poppy song.

"Two tickets for Phantom of the Opera, please," Toni could be heard ordering and the PhDs and their friends all grinned at the clear excitement in her voice.

"Haven't they seen that thing like seventeen times by now?" Ben grumbled a bit, though he was clearly amused but he was also Ben and Ben liked to grumble.

"Toni actually went to see it two times this year and saw it once last year, so I'm pretty sure it's more than seventeen," Bruce supplied, remembering being dragged to a theater in Italy that one memorable time in 2011. Toni knew each song word for word, Italian or English or whatever language the show was preformed in. He had spent half of his evening listening to _her_ rendition and wondering why she hadn't done an opera yet. She could do it, with the control over her voice that she had.

"Stephen made me watch a live feed back at Kamar-Taj. I think it was in Russian," Ms Anciento hummed in interest, watching the two excitedly take a selfie with their cards before scuttling off towards the stage where the musical was being preformed.

"Hey! We came here as a part of a bonding exercise!" Wilson shouted after them but the two just flipped him the bird before disappearing behind black wooden doors snd out of their sight.

"I wish we could go with them," Reed lamented, pouting down at the ticket in his hand that Steve had shoved onto them all so they couldn't repeat Toni's and Stephen's disappearing act. "They'll probably huddle and singe the entire thing as though _they_ were the performers."

"Really!?" Peter exclaimed, whipping around to stare longingly at where his mentor had been seen last. Even after two years of knowing the boys Toni had all but adopted as her own - the only reason she _hadn't_ actually done that was because Harley still had his mother and sister and Peter's aunt was his legal guardian and a very good woman. May was close friends with Toni and didn't mind sharing some of Peter's free time with the billionaire, especially since she had to work so much to put food on the table for her and a growing teenager - Bruce still wasn't sure what the exact nature and dynamic of their relationship was. Both boys definitely had a bit of a hero-worship for Toni but there was something else there, too. But Susan was here now and she was observant and far more sensible than almost anyone else Bruce knew. Maybe she'll be able to solve that mystery. "Oh, man. It would be _so cool_ to see Ms Stark sing that. I really like Phantom of the Opera, too."

"Toni and Stephen, despite how many times they saw it, always cheer for the Phantom to end up with Christine Daae. They say he was wronged and that he's misunderstood," Viz revealed to the boy, watching for his reaction. Peter looked intrigued, if not a bit confused. He probably hadn't seen a live performance yet and had only watched the movie or snapshots of a live performance before. "The Phantom was feared and thought to be nothing more than a deformed animal for people to gawk at and be disgusted by. He was only a child and by virtue of being born with an unfortunate face, he was singled out, made fun of, avoided, laughed at, viewed as an animal, something disgusting or was marveled at as one would an exotic beast. But he was a genius. There was no one on par with him. And I believe, to an extent, Toni and Stephen identify with him. They're not exactly _normal_ people, after all."

And Bruce agreed. Wholeheartedly. He got only a slight taste of the life in the spotlight that Stephen and especially Toni go through. Reed, did, too, but people are more focused on the fact that he used to live in space and not the more Earth-based fame as an actual freaking genius scientist and musician. Stephen built his own fame by purposefully standing out. He needed funding for his research so he can create new and better procedures to save lives and nerves and brains. He put himself out there and shined in the spot light. And Toni?

Well, Toni was Toni. She will always _be_ Toni. Toni Stark was _born_ for the spot light. No one questioned that. And she was passionate about music.

No winder she identified with the Phantom of the Opera.

Well, his kinder, more vulnerable, child-like side, not the murderous spree he set upon when people didn't play to his rules.

And he guessed she would most understand the Phantom's capacity for love that was bordering on obsession. She, too, would do _anything_ for the ones she loves. Her willingness to delay her leaving the Avengers for Stephen and his band to get a chance to enter the music world showed as much.

"That's really sad," Peter mumbled, looking down at his ticket again, a frown on his face. "And what's Grease about, exactly? Ms Stark always yells sacrilege when she hears _anything_ even _remotely_ regarding it."

"It's about how society demands from a girl to change completely who she is so she can fit in and be liked." Which, as one would expect, grated on Toni Stark's nerves like nothing _ever_ could. Toni would rather preform an entire album in Shakespearean English - not that she didn't like Shakespeare or anything, just hated to think about trying to make those lyrics work like that while making sense - than sing or even _listen_ to _one_ song from Grease. Bruce can understand that. Toni refused to change who she was. Her image with the Avengers was one she hated, the way they want her to dress or dance ... She rebelled with small or big fashion statements. She always said in interviews who and why made her wear which outfit for their concerts or music videos. The world followed the Toni Stark brand. Only shallow fans picked up the fashion sense from whatever designer got their hands on the privilege to dress Toni Stark for whatever occasion.

There were already two thousand copies of the shirt Toni wore for their mall performance sold on the Internet just in New York.

People are trying to find the camo-sweats she wore, too.

The boy grimaced at his explanation, holding the ticket now like it was disease-infested between thumb and forefinger nails. "I don't think I want to see a musical like that."

"There's a musical live retention of the Little Mermaid starting in five minutes," Viz offered, pointing to the poster for the forty five kiddie show.

"No," Steve cut in before the kid could agree, sounding sharp and commanding. "Director Fury sent us to mend team dynamics for the good of our concert. We were to pick a show and watch it together."

"Then who decided that we're watching Grease?" Wong for the first time spoke up to ask and Bruce found it fascinating how the man's expression didn't change at all. "Because _we_ were definitely not consulted regarding the choice. If we were, I think we, too, would have voted for the Phantom of the Opera."

"I think I'd rather see the Little Mermaid than Grease," Kaecilius muttered and Mordo shot the man a startled look.

"It was voted," Rogers insisted.

"By whom?" Ms Anciento asked, sounding as serene as ever. Bruce wondered if she'd accept him in her school or club or cult or whatever it was because Stephen had never been so calm and Bruce actually needed that.

"The Avengers, probably," Rhodey answered when Rogers didn't say anything, pointing to the original assembly minus Thor but plus Maximoff, Lang and Barnes.

The latter two shook their heads. "We ain't got nothing to do with this," Bucky said for him and Scott, a put upon sigh at the edge of his lips. "Can't we just get this over and done with? The sooner we do, the sooner I can go home and work on forgetting all about it."

And so they did. Bruce was part of the larger group that didn't want to but Peter was too nice to say no and Rhodey was useless as fuck when Carol took his hand and led him in so they all went after them. In the end, a good portion of the group spent the show sneering at the story but clapping for the good vocal performances because they "weren't savages" in Mordo's own words. Still, that didn't mean they weren't amongst the first ones to practically _run_ out of the hall once the show was over. And that was when those same black wooden doors from earlier burst open and out came two extremely giddy geniuses.

"_The Phantom of the Opera is there inside my/your mind_," Toni and Stephen sang in a perfect duet, attracting some amused or admiring looks as they held onto each other. Bruce was about to wave them over when Stephen pointed to something and the two children in grownup bodies practically bounced to a baby grand piano that stood in the middle of the big reception hall. They sat together and Stephen started the haunting melody pretty well considering it was the wrong instrument and Toni backed it up with the base notes at the left end of the piano to make up for the beat. As always, they were perfect together, easily keeping pace with each other and challenging one another to do better, to _be _better.

"_Those who have seen your face_

_Draw back in fear_

_I am the mask you wear"_

_"It's me they hear"_

_"Your/my spirit and your/my voice_

_In one combined_

_The Phantom of the Opera is there_

_Inside your/my mind_"

There were camera phones everywhere and people were shushing anyone new who walked by because Toni and Stephen were singing in a not so acoustic room and the sound of the piano could carry only so far. Still, Bruce had no doubt this will become an Internet sensation in an hour, if no one was live streaming right now, that is. And when it came to the part where the Phantom urges Christine Daae to sing for him ... Well, Toni blew the roof. Bruce actually chastised himself for forgetting that Toni's mom was Italian and that a little Antonia would have no doubt taken opera singing classes to try and impress her. It's not like Toni often _displayed_ that skill, though, so Bruce guessed it made sense it slipped his mind.

"Wow, I had no idea she can sing opera!" The scientist and pianist heard Lang whisper in awe and knew the smirk on his face was etched across Rhodey's, Reed's, Susan's, Johnny's and Ben's faces as well. Young Parker, though, was gawking at Toni and filming everything. Bruce had no doubt it would end up on all of his social media pages by the time they drop the kid off at home. Bruce would have probably done it, too, but he was hopeless at that kind of things. Give him numbers and figures and he can do anything, solve any equation or function. Social media was a whole new beast for him.

When Toni finished, there was a round of thunderous applause that seemed to finally snap Toni and Stephen out of their little trance and notice their unplanned for audience. The two smiled sheepishly and gave awkward bows, which was greatly in contrast to how confident they were on a stage but they _had_ just showed a vulnerable side of themselves without planning to. Each original song does that but they usually planned out how they were going to expose themselves like that. This time, though, it had happened out of spontaneous joy and good cheer, just being in each other's presence after being apart for so many years. The people loved it, of course, and it will just be one more thing to _damnatio memoriae_ the Avengers. What was even better, though, was when the actors actually playing Christine Daae and the Phantom of the Opera, obviously having heard (about) the couple singing their most famous duet, approached, impressed and happy smiles as they clapped.

For people whose names were considered to be gold in both scientific and music-artistic fields, Toni and Stephen sure did look pretty starstruck by that.

"Oh my thermonuclear astrophysics, I've seen _your_ version of the Phantom of the Opera seven times! It's such an honor to meet you, Mademoiselle Clea!" Toni gushed out, shaking the woman's hand before turning to the man beside her, her actual husband if Bruce remembered correct. Stephen didn't exclaim scientific swears, though, just shook Mr Dormammu's hand and kissed Mrs Clea's knuckles while uttering his own compliments. "Your version is by far my favorite. Such clear, powerful notes. And your on stage dynamics is to be envied. You have such a presence to you both. Even before you sing you've already captivated your audience. You are an inspiration."

"Nonsense, dear," the woman waved Toni off, sounding giddy herself. "You two have more than done that song justice."

"To be expected of the Geniuses, after all." It might be the recognition from what was obviously some of their favorite theater performers or it could be the clear admiration in Mr Dormammu's voice that did it, but Banner had never actually seen the two arrogant, most outgoing and shameless members of the PhDs so flustered before. Well, they could get a bit like that around each other but not like this, not for this reason.

"We were wondering if you'd give us your autograph?" Mrs Clea asked, extending an old as hell, well used and yet well cared for CD in its original box and the two stared at it. "And a photo?"

"I- It would be an honor," Stephen gathered himself enough to say, taking the pens Dormammu extended, giving one to Toni and the two expertly signed the box together at the same time. Bruce remembers they always did it at the same time, with the same practiced ease they did anything else.

"The honor is ours. We always listen to your music before we go out on stage. Now _you're_ presence through music alone is a thing to admire. It was truly a great honor to meet you," Clea said, beaming, taking out her phone and handing it to what must be her assistant to take a couple of photos.

"You can say we are some of your biggest fans. The 12 PhDs are marvelous as well but there's just something about you two ... "

The two actors actually proceeded to drag Stark and Strange back stage to meet the rest of the cast and crew, some of which were also apparently fans of the Geniuses, leaving the Avengers, the rest of the PhDs and company to watch in confusion, amusement and awe behind.

"Who are the Geniuses?" Bucky asked after a minute of no one really even noticing them, snapping everyone back to attention.

The PhDs, Rhodes, Johnny, Susan and Ben all grinned.

Oh, _this_ was going to be _fun_.


	12. Chapter 12

**If I Can't Have You**

**Summary: The Avengers are the best band on the planet, with the best gigs and the most talented musicians in the world. That was fact. The world has long since accepted it. That is until an old friend comes for two of their members and the world is shaken as an old group comes back together once again to make waves. And not small splashes. Tsunamis! Friendship, love and family go a long way to break the chains of society, after all.**

"Stephen was a cute kid," Una commented, disregarding the fact that said man could hear her and rolled his eyes. Stephen huffed at being ignored and tried not to squirm as everyone poured over a ten inch tablet to stare at thirteen year old Stephen performing for the first time with a ten year old Toni, who was actually the cute one of the two of them but whatever.

It was now only two days before the concert is scheduled and tensions were slowly starting to rise. The rehearsals stopped being personal and everyone got down to business without much interaction between them until they can take a break for lunch or for the vocalists to rest their voices lest they over-strain them and make them crack, which is not what anyone needs right now. They had collectively come to and agreement that no one will stir any shit until break time and the only shit stirring that can happen is the milder kind, which kind of meant that the PhDs dragged Toni away from her former band as soon as the break starts, usually putting her between them so that the Avengers can't bother her. It annoyed them to no end, especially Rogers, as they all wanted to try and talk her into not leaving the band, clearly not understanding what it meant when Toni Stark decided to salt the Earth, which annoyed Stephen but they were just that. An annoyance. Toni didn't even notice them.

Toni has been acting very _strange_ lately. Ever since the theater outing, actually. She's been disappearing more and more often. Of course, she was still within the stadium, she would just disappear in a random direction and not come back until it was time to start again. She was all kinds of distracted when not practicing and she would be staring at her phone like it was her lifeline every five minutes. Stephen knew she could be busy as hell, even with Pepper running the company, but he had never found her so distracted that she would _startled_ when _he_ put a hand on her shoulder to snap her out of it. That wasn't normal. Toni and Stephen had always been acutely aware of each other like no one ever has before them. Stephen couldn't remember a time one of them was _startled_ or _surprised_ \- not counting the surprise he'd made for Toni just weeks ago when he returned from his own self imposed exile from her life - by the other's presence or sudden appearance. It actually worried him and put him in edge.

Stephen being on edge caused Bruce and Reed to be on edge, too, and with them on edge, so were Rhodey, Viz and Johnny, not to mention Peter. If Stephen was on edge, then so were Mordo, Kaecilius and even Wong. Una was probably _not_ on edge because she was never on edge. That woman was a miracle, really. The point was, a lot of people were on edge, including the Avengers, who had no idea why everyone else was on edge. Even T'Challa and Carol were on edge. It was all very edgy, really, and it was all happening because Stephen had no idea what was going on with Toni and he was worrying himself into the ground.

"I've never heard Stark playing this type of music before," Barton admitted with a grudging admiration and Stephen looked up from where he was glaring at the poor, poor cup of tea in his hands. His hands which still ached from time to time and which would be trembling all over the place if not for the gloves Toni's made for him. It had taken a bit of getting used to but they were agile, had a strong and steady grip and were pretty perceptive of his intent, whether a motion was deliberate or the shaking. Toni had outdone herself and she was insisting on making him some new tweaks that will for sure allow him to utilize the gloves even better. She was currently trying to figure out how to put in some heaters for when his hands started to ache due to rain or colder weather.

"Toni and Stephen are the foundation of the 12 PhDs," Reed explained, sending Stephen a smile, which he tried to return but probably came out as a bit of a grimace. "The Geniuses was the original formation of the band, since the moment Toni hit double digits to when we formed the PhDs from the time she was fifteen to sixteen years old. I think they were the youngest duet in the world and still one of the best."

"Toni taught me to play everything I know," Stephen himself commented, recalling how she'd always be so eager and gleeful to teach him something new. The guitar and drums were for the need of spreading their music further to people who believed piano/keyboard and violin aren't enough to make good, fun music, but it's not like it really changed their style all that much. "She was a strict but good teacher."

"Well, this was definitely more mature than one would think two kids could come up with," Romanov commented and Stephen snorted. _We Were Geniuses_ was actually a joke he and Toni wrote. Mr Jarvis simply betrayed them by recording it and then uploading it on the Internet for the world to see. It was a song about two wonder kids whose brains could revolutionize the world but were slowly being pushed over the edge to become ultimate super villains. For some reason, it turned out to be a bit more serious than the two had first anticipated and most fans and critics alike said it was some of their finest work. The song had never been meant to reach the public and yet here it was, years later, still receiving praise that really wasn't fitting for it.

"How come we've never heard friend Antonia humming this before? She tends to hum all of her songs. I've only noticed after we heard her sing _Now You Know_." Thor asked, having apparently heard her hum _that_ song at some point, which was near impossible as the woman treasured that song as a secret ever since 2008.

"_We Were Geniuses_ was never meant for people other than Toni and myself," he decided to answer, since the tall, muscular, L'Oreal worthy model blond was one of the few people out of Toni's new (former) band that he didn't outright want to strangle, despite his younger brother being a pain and his older sister being a creep. The man was like a golden retriever, it wasn't even funny. "Her family butler, Mr Jarvis, went and put it up on the Internet without us knowing of it. We only learned when people in our high schools started gushing about us or each other. Toni was at least used to it. _I_, on the other hand, had to climb and hide in tree tops just so I could read or eat lunch in peace. My parents were also annoying, but most parents are so I ignored them."

"Wow, you were a dick to your own family, too," Barton whistled, ad though impressed, and Strange leveled him with a deadpan look that was somehow more intimidating than Kaecilous' and Mordo's glares.

"My family didn't give a damn about me beyond my intelligence, my success and the money I might bring in. So if we're judging each other on the dickishness we've showed towards our families, I think it's your victory, hands down. Shouldn't you be on vacation with them? What was it, water skiing?" It was only thanks to the martial arts training Kamar-Taj gives its advancing students that allowed Stephen to not only stop the bassist's enraged punch but also flip him over the back of the couch he was sitting on, still holding his hand. He was careful to make sure Barton would fall face first in order not to break his humerus' trochlea since the concert was literally in a couple of days. The man landed face first, indeed, kissing the back of the sofa as Stephen drew the trapped arm against his shoulder and torso and turned around just a little, causing Barton to cry out.

"Hey! Leave him alone!" Rogers yelled from where he had been sulking that Toni had ran off on her own again, but Stephen didn't spare him a glance, instead sparing Barton an arched eyebrow and a deadpan look but he didn't hide the rage in his eyes.

"Attempt that again and I will break it." There was a tense moment, a Mexican stand off if Stephen remembered the term correctly for when several parties are involved in it, before Una cleared her throat.

"That is enough, Stephen. You can let him go." But Stephen didn't. For all that he respected Una Anciento, he didn't listen to her this time. There was a glint in Barton's eyes that he didn't like. This man,for whatever reason, loved to, for the lack of a better word, _bully_ Toni and no one said anything to stop him. Stephen knew what he said, what finally draw Toni to the point where she will be salting the earth on the Avengers. JARVIS had been all too eager to show him, after all. If Barton is left off with barely a slap of the wrist for that sort of harassment, Toni will never have peace and given how she was acting as of late, Stephen was unwilling to let the bassist get away with it any longer.

The tense moment was eventually broken, though, when said genius,billionaire, musician, philanthropist actually _bounced_ into the room, as though without a single care in the world, humming _Phoenix Personified_ from _Iron Maiden - Starkenium_ under her breath. Just the sight of her, especially so cheery, was enough to make Stephen relax.

"What are you guys doing?" She asked, ignoring the tension and just arching an eyebrow as _Blue To Brown_ started playing from the all but forgotten tablet, another of the Geniuses' songs, a guitar duet this time, towards the end of their time as a two person band. "Okay, that's ancient as dust. Surely you guys have something better to listen to than that old crap."

"Actually, fans are asking for at least _one_ Geniuses song after all those videos of you guys singing Phantom Of The Opera went viral," Rhodey informed her and Stephen gave a last, subtle twist as a final warning to Barton before letting the man go.

"We are trying to decide which song you should preform," Viz finished as he handed over the piece of paper with a short list they've jotted down of their absolute favorites. So far, everyone was voting for _We Were Geniuses_ and Toni's expression at that belied she felt everyone was being ridiculous just as Stephen did.

"Our champions so far are _We Were Geniuses_ and _Of Mind And Heart_," Carol informed her from where she was leaning against Rhodey. Stephen still hadn't figured out if she saw him as a bro or as a possible boyfriend. She was hard to read, for all that she wasn't even trying to hide.

"I thought _One More Surprise_ and _Endgame_ were pretty good, too." Strange and Stark both grimaced at the titles. Those were actually written sometime after the last album the PhDs recorded, speaking of how sad they were that the band was ending. Peter sure knew how to find the songs they would both rather forget existed. Those two songs were personal but it would seem JARVIS had gone the way of his predecessor and uploaded them to the Internet without them being any the wiser. Toni had been both proud and exasperated.

Though, it's not that hard to pick a touchy song, now that Stephen thought about it. Geniuses was his and Toni's thing. Sure, they were a public band and made many albums they released to the said public, but most of the opus was actually very personal. Hell, they had more songs squirreled away for their ears and hearts only than the PhDs, the Avengers and now the Mystic Arts had recorded. Every so often, they'd sit together and make up a song from scratch, at the tops of their heads, whenever they were sad or upset or happy, it didn't matter. The last one had even been done over email while Toni was flying to Afghanistan! Geniuses' songs were supposed to be only for them but there was always something or someone that convinced them to play or record some song for the public.

"If we're doing anything from Geniuses, then it'll be _Let Me Go_." Stephen couldn't help but perk up at Toni's suggestion. It was a damn good song, one where they just played a piano and a guitar, an intimate setting for just the two of them. It was a song they had never preformed before anyone other than Mr Jarvis and he had recognized it was too personal to try to peruse them to publish it for the pubic. They hadn't even really wanted to play it for him, either, but they had. Toni had still been grieving the loss of her parents and she needed a distraction. Writing the song and getting Mr Jarvis' opinion had, at least for a short while, helped in that regard. Still, the song remained between them and no one ever heard it again.

As was evidenced by the confused frowns of their friends as they tried to recall a song of that name while Una tried to find it on the Internet. "I can't find it," she eventually gave up, looking up to the two co-writers. "There's nothing about the song that I can find."

"That's because it was never released. Moat of our songs we kept to ourselves," Stephen replied to his teacher, shifting to accommodate Toni when she sat down next to him and sought cuddles. "You're in a good mood lately."

"Got some _really_ _good_ news," she replied, completely ignoring how everyone was now debating whether a never before heard song was a good choice to answer the fans demands for one Geniuses song. "Like, _really, really good_. Cosmic levels of good." He didn't say anything, just arched his eyebrow at her head that was now nuzzling against his chest like a content cat. Stephen sighed and actually started carding his fingers through her soft hair, scratching her scalp. Toni might as well have melted against him at that. She really _was_ a cat. She was cutter than a kitten, though. It took a bit before she bothered answering. "The surprise guest will be able to make it."

"Surprise guest?" Stephen echoed and that drew everyone's attention to the Geniuses. As predicted, the Avengers immediately had these constipated expressions, except for Thor, who looked intrigued. Scott, apparently their biggest fan in the universe, was already starting to bounce on the soles of his feet.

"Who!?"

"You never said anything about a surprise guest," Bruce admonished, though it was only halfhearted. Surprise guests often stay a surprise because they're not sure if their schedule will allow them to make an appearance. The PhDs knew that. Victor Von Doom was supposed to appear with them once but he needed to go to Latveria literally hours before the concert because some shit happened and he was needed. He wasn't the only time they were supposed to have a surprise guest, but the point was they knew those can be _really surprising_. The Avengers, though, have never shared the stage with anyone besides people they want to recruit into their band or backup dancing crew.

"You can't go on keeping secrets like this, Toni," Rogers said and his scolding was a lot more genuine and a lot less welcomed than Bruce's. Toni, though, completely ignored him and looked over to Lang, sending him a wink.

"It's a _surprise_."

It was hilarious to get Scott so excited he resembled a grown up Peter on a sugar high. He was practically bouncing all over the place, listing off names of stars he thought might make an appearance. Stephen sure as hell hoped Loki, who co-stared with the Avengers for a few songs in their first album, won't be Toni's choice, though 'Crossbones' was equally as bad. Everett Ross would be a good choice, Stephen had to admit, but he wasn't sure how a clarinet would fit in with their brand of music. He, Toni and Bruce would have to be the guy's backup with maybe Thor setting the beat. Mordo might be thrilled at the chance to play the contrabass again. Or maybe it will be an attempt with Doom again, though Stephen would rather never cross paths with the arrogant man again. He couldn't seem to decide who he was obsessed with: Reed, Susan, Toni or Stephen himself. Seeing as they were all his family, Stephen would rather it be him than them but he knew he can't choose. Shame.

"If you manage to get Fury on the stage, I'll give you a hundred bucks," Barnes told Toni, who only rolled her eyes. Stephen didn't need to see it to know she did it.

"As pissed as I am with Fury at the moment, he clearly doesn't want to go on stage and I'm not that cruel as to force him. If I did, it would mean he got his due punishment and then my lawyers would pout for weeks."

"Still intent on suing us, Toni?" Romanov asked in a disappointed way that the woman in question completely ignored.

"Yep."

The Avengers, predictably, started arguing, only to stop when Fury walked in, demanding they go back to practicing. They complied but for the rest of the day, everyone tried getting Toni to slip up who the surprise guest was.

Stephen found them all _very_ annoying.


	13. Chapter 13

**If I Can't Have You**

**Summary: The Avengers are the best band on the planet, with the best gigs and the most talented musicians in the world. That was fact. The world has long since accepted it. That is until an old friend comes for two of their members and the world is shaken as an old group comes back together once again to make waves. And not small splashes. Tsunamis! Friendship, love and family go a long way to break the chains of society, after all.**

The day of the concert finally arrived and Steve felt all kinds of jittery. They had all practiced and had agreed not to take their disputes out onto the stage, but that didn't mean tensions weren't skyrocketing behind it. It was all set, they had done everything right to prepare for this day and it was now all up to them on the stage and the crowds in the stands.

The turn up was huge. It beat every other concert and they usually sold out each one. The demand for tickets was high enough that their website actually crashed a couple of times. JARVIS had informed them that they were selling out tickets even for the live feed over various forums done by professionals and that there were several dozen amateur ones set up. There were trucks with large TV screens and projectors around the stadium for those who bought cheaper tickets because there was no more space in the stadium. The entirety of the Stark Entertainment Expo grounds were filled to the brim with fans and the speaker systems were all set to blast music from the stadium. Toni had even had to sell out the Stark Science Expo's arena because there were so many people flying into New York for the Civil War concert. The concert was supposed to be in Leipzig, originally, but when they saw the ticket demands ...

Well, only the Stark Expo grounds, wither one of them, could contain such a crowd while giving off the best performance. The Stark Entertainment Expo _was_ built for things like plays, concerts, movie premiers and art exhibitions, after all.

The order of the proceedings was also brilliant, Steve had to admit. Starting off with just Stark and Strange, then working their way up in numbers through the Mystic Arts to the 24 PhDs and finally ending with the largest and most important group, the Avengers themselves, which was good as they _were_ supposed to be remembered the most on their own concert. It was a rather large opening act but they had time for everything. Storm was currently entertaining the audience while the last checks were being done on the tuning of instruments. Strange and Toni were off to the side in some sort of huddle and the surprise guest was still a no show. Toni had assured them he'll be there, he just needed to be there before the PhDs go out on stage. The first time anyone will even _see_ the guy will be on stage so they might as well stop trying to search him out.

"Stark! Strange! You're up in fifteen!" The stage manager yelled, counting down with his fingers as the Geniuses shared a nod and went towards the stage.

Storm took his microphone and climbed his bike to drive off out of sight as he introduced the next act. "Ladies and gentleman, give it up for the one and the _only_ Geniuses!"

Steve had never heard the crowd go that wild as Toni and Strange entered the stage. He grit his teeth. He had never wanted to admit it but Toni's fans were the largest in number and after finding out all this new information about her career before the Avengers, he had a feeling he knew how many of them were older, longer fans. They had obviously followed her journey if they were this excited just to _see_ the two. He hated the fact that the Avengers had never been greeted with this zeal before. Then again, the Geniuses had technically been absent from the stage for practically twenty years, even if they had grown into the 12 PhDs.

"Stark is going to end up making this all about her, isn't she?" Wanda's question surprised Steve, as he had been entirely too lost in his own thoughts that he hadn't even registered the young woman walking up to him. When he stole a glance at her, she had a disgusted scowl on her pretty features and Steve couldn't help but agree a bit. Toni's ego was showing and it _was_ ugly. She used to have _some_ sense, knowing how to tune it down a little so it wasn't this blatantly obvious. She used to be able to put it aside for the sake of the band but now it all had to be all about her.

"Hello, New York!" Both he and Wanda jumped when Strange and Toni yelled into the microphone. It didn't annoy the crowd, though. Instead, it only excited them more even though there was no good reason for yelling whatsoever. The surround system was more than working. "Are you ready to be blown away?" The crowds only screamed more, apparently all the more pumped up.

"Dear, sweet Newton, I forgot how good their voices sound together." The lead guitarist of the Avengers frowned at hearing one of those silly scientific swears Toni usually uses, turning to see Richards looking excited.

"Just look at that crowd. If Toni and Stephen don't tone it down, even the PhDs will be drowned," Bruce said with a chuckle, apparently not at all bothered by what he just said as it sounded like a joke. Well, Steve didn't find it nearly as funny as the pianist did and he was about to inform him as such when haunting, beautiful piano music started playing. They all looked in confusion at the stage when they found Toni still standing by the piano with Strange sitting in the stool, playing elegantly over the black and white keys.

"I didn't know Strange played the piano," Sam muttered to himself but Rhodes clapped him on the shoulder.

"Strange can play anything Toni can play, except maybe the harp but she learned that after the PhDs split up. Anyway, Toni taught Stephen everything she knew how to play and some instruments they learned to play together. From the violin family to the piano family to the guitars and to the metal and wooden blowing instruments, you name it, they can pretty much play it. Well, none of the traditional African instruments because neither of them has the lungs or the hand strength to learn it, but most instruments come easily to them." He paused then, frowning at the stage in bafflement. "But I thought Toni will be playing the piano. They showed me the music sheets for it. That's supposed to be her part. Strange wrote the guitar part."

_"Love that once hung on the wall_

_Used to mean something,_

_But now it means nothing_

_The echoes are gone in the hall_

_But I still remember,_

_The pain of December"_

Well ... Steve couldn't deny they sounded damn _good_ even if he wanted to. There was just ... _something_ in Toni's voice that always made a song sound good. Of course, usually the songs _were_ good, given she's usually one to write them. She knew them inside out, every note, every chord, every word and every pause. And the words were as haunting as the melody. It was almost nothing like the last time he'd heard Toni sing one of her own songs from before the Avengers and before Iron Maiden. _Now You Know_ and _Let Me Go_ seem to be on completely different ends of the spectrum. Then again, this was just two instruments playing this time. The feeling was completely different.

And he had never seen or heard a stadium fall so completely, ultimately quiet as it did now, as everyone listened avidly to the song that no one but the two composers and a dead man had heard before. Not even a fly or a mosquito could be heard buzzing. If a pin dropped, everyone would hear it.

"Oh god," Scott gasped somewhere behind him but Steve couldn't take his eyes off of his ex girlfriend. She looked so ... _vulnerable_ and yet so _strong_ at the same time ... Had he ever seen her like this before? Aside from that impromptu performance at the mall, that is. She somehow looked even more comfortable and in control than ever before, even when she was singing the most famous duet from the Phantom of the Opera with Strange. "Is she singing about what I _think_ she's singing?"

"Oh dear Periodic Table, you're right," Bruce gasped in pain and horror. But Steve didn't get it.

"16th of December, Stevie," Bucky said with disappointment in his voice. "That's when her parents died, all those years ago."

"I-" _'... Didn't know.'_ Well, he knew from the news, of course. A man like Howard Stark can't die without the whole world knowing. But Toni had never talked to him about it despite Steve telling her how Sarah Rogers had died and what her last words were. Toni had listened, had been sympathetic, but she had never returned the favor, the trust. He had completely forgotten about it at some point.

_"Oh, there isn't one thing left you could say_

_I'm sorry is too late!"_

And that just hit him straight in the heart like a ton of bricks, even if it wasn't aimed at himself. Toni hadn't even known him when the song was written and yet it somehow _still_ felt like he was on the receiving end. He really hadn't meant to hurt Toni when he had kissed Sharon. There had been rumors going around about Toni and he had been foolish enough to believe them.

Still, that was no excuse for her to use her personal vendetta against him to harm the Avengers just to get back at Steve. Steve could admit to his mistake. He wasn't bound by pride to do cruel things such as this. The Avengers didn't deserve this.

_"I'm breaking free from these memories_

_Gotta let it go, just let it go_

_I've said goodbye_

_Set it all on fire_

_Gotta let it go, just let it go."_

"Is it true Stark actually set her old house on fire?" That Mordo guy couldn't seem but ask and they all snorted at that. No, Toni kept that place safe and going like it was a museum or a temple. He'd went there once with her and she had nearly taken his head off when he got too close to her mother's favorite vase.

The chorus of the song was received just as well as the beginning, though the fans only screamed more during Strange's brief piano solo before the piano quieted and Toni started strumming the guitar. Strange took the Avengers all by surprise with how good _his_ voice was. A perfect match for Toni's, like the great music muses created and tuned their vocal chords for each other. The Avengers exchanged a look, Sam and Wanda actually starting to look nervous while Clint looked annoyed and even Nat was peeved. Steve agreed. If Toni wanted her friend to show off, he _could_ have done that as an Avenger. They would have found space for him.

_"You came back to find I was gone_

_And that place is empty,_

_Like the hole that was left in me_

_Like we were nothing at all_

_It's not that you meant to me_

_Thought we were meant to be"_

"Go Stephen!" A woman from the front rows cheered and Rogers thought that was probably that Dr Palmer girl. Strange's ... girlfriend or something.

"Didn't Stephen say they wrote this when you guys were just starting to discuss going your separate ways because of life?" Mrs Richards asked her husband but it's not like _any_ of them have a real answer to exactly _when_ the song was written. Neither Toni nor Strange had specified. It spoke of Toni's parents' death but when did the writing session happen? _When_ were Toni and Strange alone together?

"I never thought Stephen would open up like this in front of strangers," the one called Wong commented to the bald woman in yellow, who seemed more in delighted awe than surprised by the proceedings.

"I believe that, for them, nothing and no one else exists in this moment."

"Sounds accurate enough," Rhodes agreed and Steve wondered just what kind of connection one must forge to make it into the circle of close friends for people like Toni and Strange. He had thought he'd been a part of it, but it has never been more clear he had not even been on the outskirts. His whole relationship with his girlfriend had been as an outsider looking in.

And he hated Strange for it, for being able to make Toni smile like that as she leaned against the piano and played her guitar.

_"Oh, there isn't one thing left you could say_

_I'm sorry it's too late!"_

_"I'm breaking free from these memories_

_Gotta let it go, just let it go."_

The crowd _exploded_ when their voices combined, something sudden and flashy and incredible as the notes of the piano and the chords of the guitar intertwined, every key stroke a perfect match for each strum of strings. Strange's fingers were as elegant as Toni's were clever, the music pouring out of them like light from a supernova and the crowd was _loving it_.

_"I've said goodbye_

_Set it all on fire_

_Gotta let it go, just let it go."_

The melody slowed down again, dominated by the piano as the two took turns to sing. They were as perfect a duet as they had been for the Phantom of the Opera. They were gentle, the song sounding fragile and yet gaining strength with each set of lyrics. Both Anciento and Rhodes were right. Steve could see as clear as day that the two on stage were completely oblivious to the rest of the world, not even looking down to their instruments to see their finger movements. Their eyes never left each other.

This was _their_ song and Steve suddenly understood why it had never been shared before. _'So why now?'_

_"I let it go"_

_"And now I know"_

_"A brand new life"_

_"Is down this road"_

_"Where it's right"_

_"You always know"_

_"So this time"_

_"I won't let go"_

_"There's only one thing left here to say,"_ Toni sang as she leaned closer to Strange and started strumming her guitar again. _"Love's never too late!"_ And the song exploded all over again, like the musical version of the Big Bang. The entire thing was a roller coaster and since no one knew the song, no one knew how it was going to go. everyone seemed to be enjoying the novelty of it, the not knowing what was coming next. the song was a hit, that was for sure. The way Toni's and Strange's voices blended together was really something. They were in a league of their own, they were in a world of their own, completely forgetting about everyone else as they just sang at and to each other.

Steve couldn't help but wonder at the nature of their relationship. there was no way they were just friends. Friends don't look at each other like that, like they've each placed the sun and the moon and the stars in the sky, like they've created the cosmos.

suddenly, the song seemed to have a much deeper meaning than just the pain of losing one's parents and breaking up a group of friends that's been through it all. If this was just Stephen and Toni's song ... And Steve hated Strange even more that neither of them seemed to notice that they were practically confessing to each other their undying love. He was still not over Toni. He still wanted them to get back together.

_"I've broken free from these memories_

_I've let go, I've let go_

_And two goodbyes, led you to this new life_

_Don't let me go, don't let me go__"_

"Like either of them are ever going to let the other go," Snorted that Grim guy that still hadn't apologized to Steve for their bumping in to each other that first time they met at the mall but Steve had decided to be the bigger man and just let it go.

_"Don't let me go! Don't let me go! Don't let me go!"_

The melody became slow, low and haunting again, only Strange's piano and Toni's voice as she lowered the guitar and came to sit beside the man on the piano stool, their eyes still never leaving each other. He felt his heart clench painfully with each verse of _"Won't let you go, don't let me go,"_ that left Toni's lips as they leaned their foreheads together and just sat like that, like nothing and no one else existed, like they wouldn't be anywhere else but right there, with each other, in the spotlight behind a piano. Had Toni ever looked at him like that? Had _he _at _her_?

_'I'll change,'_ he was ready to beg. _'I'll treat you better. just give us one more chance.'_ He would beg. He would, before it was too late and Strange seduced her to his side with familiarity and tricked her into thinking it was love. He's seen the footage. The only thing Strange cares about is himself. He won't let Toni go. This has been a wake up call, in many aspects. He won't repeat his mistake.

_"Won't let you go, don't let me go."_ And with that and one last ending note from the piano, the song ended and the entire stadium was silent. Then, a thunderous applause and a deafening cheer. Strange and Toni jerked away from each other, shocked out of their own little world by the sudden, loud noise, turning almost incredulous expressions towards the crowd as they continued yelling praises, cheers for an anchor and their names. Then, the most dazzling, yet genuine and bashful smiles split both their faces as they stood up to bow to the audience, causing even more of a frenzy. Somehow, despite not wearing any special, flashy outfits, just some jeans and a dress shirt for Strange and trousers and a band shirt for Toni, they shined like stars. They were just standing there, in front of their instruments and smiling and it was enough.

"Thank you, New York!" They said in one voice into their microphones, holding hands as they performed another bow. Then Toni stepped forward and gestured dramatically behind her where the piano was already being carted off and the rest of the instruments were being brought out with that scary efficiency only SI employees can handle. "And now, it is my great pleasure and an even grater honor to call out some of my lovely colleges. Give it up for the magnificent Mystic Arts!"

The rest of Strange's band met him on stage as the crowd cheered. They were hyped and more than a little pumped up after the show provided so far. The interest in the _strange_ band was natural, given none of them were exactly normal characters on a good day and they had a bald woman on stage with them. Not to mention they were dressed in some _really weird_ clothes Steve didn't know how to label. Only Strange didn't bother to get changed, instead just accepting the red cape thing Anciento brought him, though with an arched eyebrow.

Steve absolutely hated him for how well he wore it.

Getting Toni back won't be easy.


	14. Chapter 14

**If I Can't Have You**

**Summary: The Avengers are the best band on the planet, with the best gigs and the most talented musicians in the world. That was fact. The world has long since accepted it. That is until an old friend comes for two of their members and the world is shaken as an old group comes back together once again to make waves. And not small splashes. Tsunamis! Friendship, love and family go a long way to break the chains of society, after all.**

Rhodey was already loving the Civil War concert.

It was supposed to be all about the Avengers but the way they were all going right now, if things proceeded down this road, no one will even remember _whose_ concert they have _technically_ attended. That was Toni's plan, of course. You don't piss off Toni Stark and not feel the consequences. They had decided to up their jerk levels? Toni had finally regained some sense and showed them the error of their ways in thinking Toni was just going to roll over, over and over again. She had her own breaking point and they've breached it, which was actually impressive enough on both sides.

Had he been in Toni's shoes, he would have blasted those morons off to space a long time ago.

It said quite a bit about how pissed Toni must have been to finally snap like that. Salting the earth was the final extreme of Toni's anger, after all.

Still, the concert in and of itself was going spectacularly. The fans were satisfied and happy, the Mystic Arts were blasting some _really_ good music - though Stephen had been unsure as to whether they should play Toni's gift song, _Doctor Strange_, but Ms Anciento had insisted on it and he had given in; the respect he held for that woman was very interesting indeed and Toni's depiction of this new Stephen Strange, from the beginning of his journey to the man he had now become, was interesting and a very good song, as the fans agreed. Then again, it _was_ Toni's song. About _Stephen_ no less. Of course it would be good. No one knew that man better - and Toni herself seemed increasingly gleeful while the Avengers were finally starting to sweat it. They still weren't realizing just how screwed they were - between all the people they were pulling in from a thousand directions and the guests and opening acts that were invited, they had limited their own time on the stage to practically be not much longer than anyone else's and _they_ were supposed to be the main show - but Rhodey gave zero fucks. As it was, before this week ends, the Avengers might as well be a thing of the past. Whatever direction Toni takes from now on, she'll flourish.

He still didn't know what made his best friend suddenly let go of all of that guilt and self-hate she used to carry like a crutch or her own cross to bear, but it was refreshing to see her so upbeat again. Toni Stark was beautiful on the worst of days but when she was happy, she was as radiant as the sun. Not Rhodes' words. He was quoting Stephen from that one time the former neurosurgeon got drunk around him. Not that Rhodey didn't agree. The description was spot on. The last decade or so of Toni's life had left her with very few reasons to smile, though, so it had felt like an eternal winter or something. Seeing it again felt like the return of spring and it was now progressively turning into summer the more Toni smiled and laughed openly.

The Avengers and co were gawking at her. She was a very different person like this. The change was truly incredible. They'd never seen her like this before. Like she used to be before Afghanistan. She had the PhDs back, her close relationship with Stephen had kicked off right where they had left it off and she now had a couple of boys who might as well be her own for how much she loves them.

And now that she was kicking the Avengers to the curb, there was no more added stress on her shoulders and she could be genuinely happy.

It was a pleasant, welcome change.

None of it, though, explained the sudden change of heart.

Nor her current excitement as she came back dressed in an outfit Rhodey easily connected to _Walk Me Home_, an old song written by the PhDs for their last album, after the Starks' death. Toni had been drunk and would have probably become a drug addict if not for the PhDs, Rhodey, the Storms and Grim. That song and the one Toni couldn't sing but insisted for Stephen to take it, _If You Could See Me Now_, had often driven Rhodes to tears. The PhDs had gifted those two masterpieces to Toni and her family.

The Avengers never had the capacity for sympathy to do something similar, for any of them.

"I swear you have more energy and glee in you than all those 12 PhDs fans out there combined," he teased his best friend, who only stuck out her tongue at him playfully, giving him a mock stink eye too to boot.

"I'm excited."

"I can tell. Mind sharing why?"

Toni only beamed broader even as she waved to the approaching Bruce and Reed. "The surprise guest is here!"

"Never seen you this excited about that, though," Reed, dressed in a blue and white jumpsuit, commented, bumping shoulders with Bruce, dressed in some khakis and a purple dress shirt, when Strange thanked the fans and his band, signaling the end of the Mystic Arts' twenty minute performance.

"Looks like we're up," the scientist said to his fellow scientists and they all waited for Strange to introduce them as the Mystic Arts walked off the stage and they congratulated them on a job well done.

"So let me call on stage my colleagues and immensely dear friends, the upgraded, a bit more mature and ultimately still kick-ass awesome 24 PhDs!" The roar that followed the greeting was seriously making Rhodey fear for his hearing but seeing the way Toni all but bounced onto the stage was so worth it. Though he was as confused as everyone when she placed a plastic but sturdy chair on stage beside the waiting bass guitar she was supposed to play and instead walked straight to the mike stand besides Stephen. Rhodey could make out the man's mouth moving but Toni didn't answer, instead taking the mike to her mouth and speaking.

"Good evening New York!" None the wiser as to what was happening or not, the people still greeted the one and only Toni Stark with enormous enthusiasm. Her presence alone usually meant it was going to be a blast, really. "Are you ready to rock!?" Screams of affirmative followed and Toni taunted the crowd a bit with obnoxious "I can't hear you"s before beaming when the entire stadium thundered with the response. "Then boy do we have a _treat_ for you!"

"If Toni's goal is to literally blow the roof off of the walls of the stadium with all that noise, Pepper won't exactly be pleased," Carol commented as she came to stand beside him as they watched Toni work the crowd. "Any idea what she's aiming at?"

"No clue," Rhodey admitted to his secret crush honestly with a shrug. "All I know is that it has something to do with the surprise guest. Not sure why that would get her this hyped but Toni is something else. You can never be too sure with her."

"As Stephen here has already introduced us, we are the 24 PhDs. Some of you, however, originally know us as the _12 _PhDs and those of you who do, also undoubtedly know that once on a stage like this there would have been five, not four member." Rhodey, Susan, Johnny and Ben flinched backstage as hard as Stephen, Reed and Bruce did on stage and as Pepper and Happy no doubt did in the VIP lounge. They _all _knew how _that _topic affected Toni and yet she was _beaming_. The crowd looked confused, too. A hush fell over the stadium, everyone listening with rapt attention to what the eccentric genius, billionaire, philanthropist, musician will say. "Over the years, I've been called many things. Without the PhDs, I would have never been able to be myself, to be the real Toni Stark. But without one man, I would have never been able to become Iron Maiden. And without him, we can't really be the PhDs either."

Murmurs now rose from the audience, confused and wondering, while backstage the Avengers were already talking amongst themselves how Toni had either lost her mind or she was 'plotting something'. Rhodey frowned and then his jaw dropped as an unsuspecting Peter and Harley helped a bald man with a neat beard and modest glasses dressed in what one would usually call a professor's get up out onto the stage. Rhodey couldn't believe his eyes. He couldn't tear them away from the man that _should not be able to be here_. Reed's family was probably having a breakdown at this change themselves. The Avengers were no doubt as clueless as ever. They hadn't even known the PhDs existed until less than a month ago! Why would they suddenly be able to recognize their last member now?

"So it is my deepest, greatest pleasure, as a musician, a friend and an overall human being, to introduce to you all none other than the man who saved my life at the cost of himself. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Dr Ho Yinsen, the last but certainly not the least member of the new and revised 24 PhDs!"

The Colonel could see how everyone's heads snapped over in Yinsen's direction when he came onto the stage, still weak and painfully thin with an IV line connected to him, but he stood proud and happy, warm near black eyes sparkling with fondness as Toni seemed to vibrate at the mere sight of him. Rhodey could only guess the man was grateful Toni's charging greeting was reserved for Stephen because she'd blow them both over if she tried. The lost member of the band took in the sudden deafening silence as everyone tried to take in what had just happened before an almost impossible roar filled the stadium as it all registered as to _who_ was actually standing in front of them and _what_ that actually meant.

"Yinsen?" Stephen asked into the strap on mike at his mouth which he forgot to turn off or move out of the way, so everyone heard him. The man just smiled and walked closer with the help of the two teens.

"Oh my thermonuclear astrophysics," Bruce sounded off, standing up from behind his piano at the same time Reed all but vaulted over the drum set, the three men all approaching where Yinsen had come to stand besides the beaming, happily crying Toni.

"What's going on? What's the big deal?" Romanoff asked somewhere behind him and Rhodes snapped out of his stupor. It was only Carol's steadying hand that kept him from collapsing to the ground and Viz was no doubt that same grounding presence for the Storms and Ben. All five of them would have ran out onto the stage to greet their friend who might as well have been walking the valley of death since Afghanistan back in 2008.

"Are you kidding me?!" Lang's voice was high pitched and sounded strained. Then again, as they had learned in the last month or so, he was probably one of the biggest fans ever of the 12 PhDs. "That's Ho Yinsen! _Ho Yinsen_! No one's seen or heard from him or _about_ him in the past eight or so years! Ever since he fell into a coma back in 2008 after a grave injury sustained in Afghanistan! He's one of the most legendary bass players of all times! He's the bassist of the 12 PhDs! He's a musical _legend_ and _hero_!"

"And he's also Toni's hero," Viz interrupted before the man could go further on in his rant and get off the topic. It was clear the Avengers weren't getting the bigger picture, the mainframe of this story. "He's the reason she's alive today. He helped her develop the pacemaker technology keeping her heart pumping while they were in a cave, in captivity by the Ten Rings terrorist cell. He nearly sacrificed his life to endure Toni will get out of that cave. It's luck and Toni's stubbornness that kept him alive long enough for Colonel Rhodes to find them in the desert."

All eyes turned to him at that and he had to clear his throat in hopes of finishing the story. "They were held captive for three months. Toni blew their camp sky high, which alerted us to activity in that sector and helped us find them. Toni had been carrying him with some improvised sling slash stretcher for hours. They were burned from both the hot sun and the explosions, they were bruised and scratched and dirty as all hell. Yinsen had a major wound in his gut and was bleeding to death. I think he was in shock despite the heat because of the blood loss. Toni got the best doctors in the world to operate on him and while they _have_ stabilized him and he _did_ survive the initial trauma, he had fallen into a coma and hadn't come out since 2008. I don't ... How ... ? _When_ ... ?"

"It's okay," Carol shushed him as she drew him into a hug, holding him close. Rhodey appreciated it. Yinsen was a dear friend to him, too.

"I thought he died?" Rogers' thoughtless question made them all stiffen. He was quick to clear it up though. "I mean, the way everyone always avoided talking about him and all that. Toni's survivor's guilt ... "

"... Are you _seriously_ trying to diminish it by saying she should feel less guilty because he _hadn't_ died?!" The furious Susan _growled_ at the blond guitarist, looking ready to rip him apart. The way Carol, too, tensed made Rhodey wonder how he hadn't fallen in love for this marvelous woman sooner. Then again, it could be because her former dick of a manager rarely let her have any free time for herself. Yon Rogg was nearly as big of a dick as the Avengers were.

"No, of course not!" Rogers tried to backpedal but he obviously had no idea who he was dealing with because once Sue got going, god help you.

"Ho's entire family was already killed by the Ten Rings and he couldn't do anything to save them. Then Toni was carted into their cave with severe heart trauma and he had to keep her alive. He was ready to _die_ to get her out of there! Because he couldn't live with himself if the woman he considered family was also killed in front of him and he didn't do anything about it! Because he couldn't face the rest of the PhDs and tell them Toni, who was like their little sister, died on his watch! Because he couldn't bear to tell Rhodey, Pepper and Happy why the woman that made them _family_ was gone! Because he _couldn't look Stephen in the eyes and tell him the woman he loved was gone forever because he hadn't done more_! And because he couldn't take the knowledge that the world was robbed of Toni Stark under his care. The guilt and grief would have killed him as surely as a bullet would. And in turn Toni's guilt was no better these last eight years. Not that _any_ of you would understand _guilt_ or _basic human emotion_. You disgust me." Needless to say, all of the Avengers were gaping at the blond woman, who couldn't even look at them anymore.

The sound of Yinsen's rough, a bit scratchy voice from lack of use over the good part of the decade stopped whatever else anyone would say, drawing their attention to the now seated bassist holding his guitar at the ready for the song to follow his little speech. "Some of you may wonder how I am here. Some of you may not even know why others would be wondering at all. As Toni had said, I have been there with her, in Afghanistan, when she was captive. My homecoming wasn't as pleasant as hers. I was in a coma for, as I learned a few days ago, eight years. The world moved on while I was sleeping. She didn't. She kept me alive, searched for something to wake me up, all this time. And when she was least expecting it, she found the answer. So _Now You Know_," he smiled as some people in the crowd laughed. Rhodey felt like choking on the air that struggled to make its way into his lungs. Of _course_ Yinsen would wake up to _that_ song playing probably on some news feed or MTV or some other music or celebrity centered channel. And it was the first real glimpse of Toni's old, real self since the kidnapping. "So without further ado, we are the 24 - apparently - PhDs and we hope you will sing along."

Reed took that as his cue as he immediately started the beat. Rhodey now understood, though, why this was one of the songs chosen for the PhDs. The bass was limitedly used as most of the song was actually Toni and Reed. But it was also chosen for the backup vocals being all four of the male members of the band, a harmony of five voices not heard since the death of one Mr Edwin Jarvis.

Rhodey thought he was going to choke himself on his own tears when Toni started singing and her voice carried _so much emotion_. More than ever before, which was saying something, considering she always put it in her all.

_"There's something in the way you roll your eyes,"_ Most of the stadium actually chuckled at those first words but Rhodey saw on the big screens filming the crowd that most of the people were seemingly mouthing the words along with Toni. They couldn't be heard as the music was still playing and Toni's voice was dominant due to the microphone. But it was clear a lot of people had become Avenger fans for Toni Stark, as had always been suspected to be the case.

_"Takes me back to a better time_

_When I saw everything is good_

_But now you're the only thing that's good"_

It really _was_ a blast to the past, wasn't it? Life was once so much easier, there were more smiles than tears on their faces. The PhDs were an inseparable group that was a family in its own right and any friend of any of the members was somehow family, too. They were the largest family Rhodey knew of that had constructed itself, one member at a time, not because of blood but because of acceptance and understanding and kindness. Rhodey somehow wondered if he'll wake up at any point now, find himself in his old MIT dorm in his bed across the slumbering genius across from him with Dum-E, her first built robot, covering her after an all nighter, both of them years younger and still not knowing the true stress and grief the world could crash down on their young shoulders. Stephen would come into their room with a scowl on his face for accidentally standing him up for the usual study session and Reed and Bruce would poke their heads around him from the door frame, only to find Toni still out to the world and all their faces would melt in smiles and they'd just casually sit on the floor between the two beds and start studying like they belonged there. Then, a little later, Susan, Ben and Yinsen would arrive with coffee, which would wake Toni up and she'd be all over all of them before settling against Stephen with Yinsen on her other side petting Dum-E and Rhodey would feel the tender love of an older sibling as he watched her doze off against the future neurosurgeon and life would seem perfect. God, he actually almost _wanted_ to wake up, if only to find all those years had been ugly nightmares and that none of them had suffered or lost or been unmade.

But it wasn't. And somehow, Toni was once again back up on that stage like she used to be, beaming and smiling and laughing even as tears trailed down her cheeks. They've loved and lost and are now all the more mature for it, are wiser and more experienced. They're different people and yet he could bet the band on stage felt as much like teenagers as Rhodey did himself at the moment as the song played on.

_"Tryna stand up on my own two feet_

_This conversation ain't comin' easily_

_And darling, I know it's getting late_

_So what do you say we leave this place?"_

As Toni hummed and the music exploded with the other instruments - most notable the actual bass guitar and not a sound modifier from the electric keyboard Bruce was only sparsely using for some sound effects of instruments none of them would ever actually use - the crowd followed Toni into the choirs with gusto, actually being heard along with her, which only made the PhDs grin as all of their voices washed over the arena.

_"Walk me home in the dead of night_

_I can't be alone with what's on my mind_

_So say you'll stay with me tonight_

_'Cause there is so much wrong going on outside"_

The Stark car accident, the funeral, then Mr Jarvis' death, _his_ funeral ... Yinsen's coma, Toni's grieving ... It all fit in with the lyrics. Every single damned time the PhDs and the rest of them were there for Toni ... Drunk or not when she actually wrote this thing with them, she had hit it spot on, like always.

_"There's something in the way I wanna cry_

_That makes me think we'll make it out alive_

_So come on and show me how we're good_

_I think we could do some good,"_ and Toni hummed again as she came to stand besides the sitting Yinsen, not ashamed to cry and then leaned on Stephen when he came to stand on her other side. They were a united front, all of them, in that special way how they never blocked Reed at the drums or Bruce at the piano/keyboards. Rhodey cheered with the crowd as they all sang again, swept away by their energy, by their happiness to be all together again, to be playing again.

_"Walk me home in the dead of night_

_I can't be alone with all that's on my mind_

_Say you'll stay with me tonight_

_'Cause there's so much wrong going on outside_

_Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh_

_Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh"_

The music gentled and was almost not there at all, Toni being the only thing heard with only traces of Stephen and Yinsen on their guitars.

_"Walk me home in the dead of night_

_I can't be alone with all that's on my mind_

_Say you'll stay with me tonight_

_'Cause there's so much wrong going on"_

And the music exploded one more time, with all of their voices, Toni leading them through it, the fans following, the backstage people singing along with grins and tears - especially those who knew this bands story. Hell, even Peter and Harley were drawn in to sing, Toni shoving her mike in their faces while she tugged Stephen down so they could sing into his earpiece together, neither bothered by the intimacy of the gesture and the lack of space between them, like always. But, Rhodey mused to himself, that was natural for them, wasn't it. Seeing them apart in the same room would be weird.

_"Walk me home in the dead of night_

_I can't stay alone with all that's on my mind_

_Say you'll stay with me tonight_

_'Cause there's so much wrong_

_There's so much wrong_

_There's so much wrong_

_Going on outside,_" Toni finished and the music died down. And the stadium thundered with applause and whistles and cheers. And the 24 PhDs all beamed.

"Thank you, New York! You're wonderful!" The band easily intoned together, grinning like idiots but they never looked better for they had not been this happy for a decade. Rhodey wanted the run out there and be with them, to celebrate this incredible miracle, but this was their moment.

He figured he'd get his chance later.

He and Toni have a duet, after all.


	15. Chapter 15

**If I Can't Have You**

**Summary: The Avengers are the best band on the planet, with the best gigs and the most talented musicians in the world. That was fact. The world has long since accepted it. That is until an old friend comes for two of their members and the world is shaken as an old group comes back together once again to make waves. And not small splashes. Tsunamis! Friendship, love and family go a long way to break the chains of society, after all.**

After a tear-jerking _If You Could See Me Now_ sang by Stephen, Bruce's wonderful symphony _Transform_, Yinsen's short retention of the song Stephen and Toni wrote for him, _Science To Magic_, because neither explained how he was still insane with the company he kept, Reed's _Cosmic Explosion_ and, of course, playing _Now You Know_ again with the whole band assembled, the 24 PhDs hugged it out on the stage in a huge group hug with Yinsen in the middle, mostly because he was still recovering from atrophied muscles from years of staying still in a coma. They were laughing and crying and no one stopped Rhodey, Viz, Sue, Johnny, Ben and even Pepper and Happy from joining in on the hug. They received a lot of support from the audience and all the screens showed the happy reunion. Stephen had no doubt that this exact moment, no matter how the rest of the concert goes, will be the highlight no one will forget for years to come.

The reunion of the 12/24 PhDs ... Had a nice enough ring to it, in his humble opinion. He doubted anything else would be exciting or amazing or surprising enough to top this very instance for the rest of the concert or even the year as a whole.

For just a little while, he enjoyed the moment, soaked up all that warmth and happiness, before they finally had to leave the stage to the Avengers. Toni still walked off with them, receiving the same congratulations and refusing to go change until she made sure Yinsen was well taken care of before she let herself be dragged off. She ignored any criticism or negative opinions Fury and his lot tried to give her regarding the stunt the PhDs had just pulled, leaving all of her friends to just smirk when the glares were directed their way. Hey, they might not be Toni Stark but that doesn't mean they intimidate easily.

"This will ruin the entire concert for us," he overheard Romanov comment to her group and couldn't help but snicker at the fact that they were only _now_ figuring that out. But deciding they weren't worth his attention, Stephen instead walked over to where Bruce had introduced Thor, Barnes and Lang to Yinsen with Peter and Harley only now registering they had been assigned music legend babysitting duty. Lang was starstruck, Barnes seemed impressed with Yinsen and Thor was genuinely pleased to meet him.

"-and I greatly admire your strength to be here tonight. You played marvelously, my friend," Thor was saying in that outdoors voice he couldn't seem to shake. Stephen often wondered if it was the drums' doing, but dismissed it. Drummers had headsets to protect them as well as assure them they sounded good and weren't out of rhythm.

"Thank you. And I wouldn't have been able to come here without Toni. The medical staff told me she used to come every day and talk to me for hours on end. She paid for the best doctors and nurses to take care of me and then to help me regain strength. I _wanted_ to be here tonight. There will be _fire_, after all." Ah, yes. Stephen had almost forgotten how vicious his fellow M. D. could be. Behind that calm, kind continence lies the man who helped Toni Stark blow up a nefarious terrorist cell, after all. And of course Yinsen will be as eager to watch Toni salt the earth on the Avengers as any of her true friends would be. Iron Maiden is going solo or Toni Stark is returning to the PhDs. It all depended on how they want to continue from this point on out but what was absolutely certain was that she won't be performing with the Avengers again.

Thor didn't seem to understand Yinsen's meaning, but big blond caught sight of Stephen approaching and just beamed at him instead. "Ah! Infinite Beer Wizard! That was quite a show. You have a really good voice."

Stephen ignored the amused look Yinsen was shooting his way for the moment, nodding to the Odinson. "Thank you. I wish you luck when you go out as well. Kill it."

"I will, as Friend Antonia tells Lady Pepper, bring back the autopsy," and with a staggeringly powerful clap on the back, Thor left Stephen to talk with Yinsen alone, getting out on stage with the Avengers when Toni walked out dressed in a red pencil skirt, tie and leather gloves and a gold, shimmering fancy dress shirt that was only open enough to show off the glowing pacemaker over her heart. Full Iron Maiden glory it is, then, he thought with amusement before turning to the seated doctor with glasses, who actually looked a bit lost as he observed it all.

"I missed so much," the man sighed sadly, watching Toni as she greeted New York for the third time. "So much has changed."

"Indeed."

"But some things haven't," Yinsen said almost teasingly, making Stephen tear his eyes away from Toni to arch a challenging eyebrow at him. But Yinsen, as has always been the case, wasn't intimidated by anything or anyone, not even a possibly probably dramatically temperamental former neurosurgeon that could have changed in all ways and senses of the word in the years he'd been in a coma. "You still pin after her. And you're still as oblivious as ever to her pinning after you," he added quickly before Stephen could protest, which only managed to leave him utterly speechless. He ... wasn't expecting that. Hell, he thought he'd hear something like that only in one of his happiest, luckiest dreams. It just seemed ... _impossible_. "Come now, Strange. Surely you're not _that_ oblivious. Sure, when we were younger, that even made sense but you're a grown man now and neither you nor Toni are all that subtle about it. Not that either of you _could_ ever do subtle, but let's not go there, yes?" When Yinsen saw Stephen's no doubt flabbergasted expression, he sighed in fond exasperation and smiled up at him in an encouraging but amused manner. "You really hadn't noticed, have you. Well, I guess you should be thankful to have me here, then, to point it out so you two can get your shit together and finally get together. The longing looks were sickening enough when we were teenagers. The cure to your lovesickness is on that stage and in your music notebook."

Stephen knew what he was talking about. Of course he did. The only people who ever glimpsed his private notebook were Toni, Bruce, Yinsen and recently Una. Sure, the other PhDs got to see _some_ of the songs but they didn't have reign over the entire thing. And he had once been drunk enough to show Yinsen a crumbled up, torn out page that contained his confession from their days of touring Europe, written down on paper and damning him for being in love with his best and oldest friend. The song never left his person, his paranoia not allowing him to leave it somewhere where anyone might find or steal it. The song was good and would be a hit, no doubt, but it was the Geniuses type of song, one that should _definitely_ stay between him and Toni. But because he had always been a coward, too scared to ruin their friendship which was infinitely more precious to him than the need to confess his feelings - he'd rather have Toni in _some_ way than not at all. He'll gladly walk her down the aisle for someone else, even if his heart shatters and grinds itself to dust in the process. Toni is everything. He'd do anything to see her happy, even suffer in silence - the song stayed instead between him an Yinsen, only read and seen, never heard.

Looking out at the stage where Toni was singing with Rogers _Avengers Assemble_, he knew this was his only chance. "Thank you, Yinsen. And it's definitely good to have you back. We've been lost without you." And his friend only smiled and wished him lucky as Stephen ran over to the Mystic Arts. Una was the first to look up at him, drawing the others' attention. "Hey, remember that song you guys were interested in but I never let you play?" Kaecilius and Mordo exchanged uncomfortable looks. Wong even showed a bit of uneasy despite his unflappable facade. Una smiled. He had told them who and what it was about. They knew it was too personal and never mentioned it. Still, they nodded and Stephen gave them an awkward smile, feeling both giddy and terrified. "Well, you're about to get your chance. Get your instruments."

They were confused but scrambled to do as told, no doubt wondering if he had lost all of his marbles. Una just smiled. If she had planned on saying something, it was interrupted by Fury walking up to them, glare firmly in place as he glowered at Stephen. "I hate you."

"Whatever for?" He didn't allow his surprise at such a childish statement to show, instead of arching an eyebrow at the director.

"For making that song sound better when you played it with Stark." Stephen turned his attention to the music and easily recognized _The Accords_, even though it sounded pretty butchered with all the unnecessary instruments added into the song. When he turned his attention back to Fury, the man was already walking away, apparently not expecting or wanting an answer. Now that was just an odd exchange, really. But Stephen didn't pay it any additional attention as he turned back to his band members and they started preparing.

Time flew by as he taught them the song as best and as fast as he could while the Avengers preformed, their guests did their thing, Toni and Rhodey and then she and Viz had their duets. Carol sounded good with Rhodes when they did a number together. It was all going great and Stephen wasn't even aware of it when the concert officially ended with a "Thank you, New York and goodnight!" from Toni. He looked up in shock when the Avengers left the stage. Everyone except Toni seemed pleased with their performance. When he approached her about it, she bit her lip and looked out at the crowd. They were screaming for an encore but the night was done. There was nothing else planned and while the venue was theirs for however long they wish it since it was Toni's, they had nothing else to perform or show and yet the audience wasn't budging from their seats.

"The plan is backfiring a bit. The ending didn't leave a big enough impact to signal the end of the show. People are waiting for more and while we _could_ improvise _something_ ... " _The night wasn't about the Avengers_, Stephen finished silently for her, nodding in agreement. Letting the Avengers do anything now would defeat the whole point of Toni salting the earth on them. He bit the inside of his cheek in thought, debating one last time on backing out but Toni seemed disappointed by how the night was going to end without a bang, so he decided to just yolo it.

"The Mystic Arts can perform one more song," he offered and Toni looked up at him in this hopeful way that had him resolving himself to his fate, if it was for her sake. "I mean, we're new. We have plenty new things no one has heard before." _'Even though the song we'll be performing might as well be as old as my feelings for you,'_ he thought to himself and had to take a deep breath not to spiral into a panic attack.

"Really? Your friends won't mind?"

"We will be fine, Ms Stark," Wong surprised them both by answering in Stephen's stead, the others already getting on stage with their instruments. The crowd cheered at the continuation of the show and the Asian man nodded to him. "We should go."

"Kick ass and take names, Doc," Toni chirped and Stephen smiled at her, swallowing his nerves. He'd never been nervous on the stage before. He waved to the crowd as he climbed up last, walking over to where a small keyboard was placed next to the stage microphone, adjusting his guitar.

"Good evening once more, New York!" Incomprehensible screaming and shouting was his response and he smiled. Not smirked, as he usually would before a performance, but smiled. "At your behest, we will be performing one last song for your pleasure, a closing act if you will."

"What are they doing!? You better explain, Stark!" He heard someone backstage yell and had to refrain himself from storming back there and giving them something to scream and cry about for treating her that way, but forced himself to calm down. Toni could take care of herself and she wasn't alone. If no one else, Una was there and his teacher, for all that she was the same size as Toni, was strong as hell. Not that Toni was weak, by any means, but mastery of martial arts did things for people. And then there was Ben, too, who was a giant, so he forced himself to focus on what he was out here to do.

The crowd at least seemed very pleased with this turn of events.

"So we hope you will enjoy it. This one is for all of you out there who are in love with your best friends but too scared to risk it all by confessing." He could hear Mordo groan and Kaecilius snort at his tactless introduction and he didn't dare look to the side for fear of facing Toni's reaction before he sings. He won't be able to get any words out otherwise. And before he could lose his courage, he nodded to his band and started.

_"I can't write one song that's not about you_

_Can't drink without thinkin' about you_

_Is it too late to tell you that_

_Everything means nothing_

_If I can't have you?"_

The song didn't beat around the bush, getting right to it with both lyrics and music. The crowd immediately got into it, the upbeat melody and probably the eccentricity of his introduction. Stephen did his best not to think about much more than the lyrics and how much he meant them, but that was impossible without thinking about Toni and an almost bittersweet smile bloomed on his lips.

_"I'm in Toronto and I got this view_

_But I might as well be in a hotel room, yeah_

_It doesn't matter 'cause I'm so consumed_

_Spending all my nights reading texts from you"_

The sudden, excited squealing nearly had him flinching back from the mike. He could make out people in the first row pointing at something behind him and he saw Christine gesture at the big screen. He was nearly floored to see some of the texts he used to exchange with Toni displayed there for everyone to see. Everything from her random scientific rambles to her even more random 3 a.m. inquiries and philosophical debates - well, if debating whether Burger King or McDonald's is better can be considered as such - or his complaints about residency and the stupidity of some of the patients was there for the world to see and the only one who could have displayed that was JARVIS, who must have at some point found the lyrics of the song. If he wasn't so grateful and used to the practically omniscient and omnipresent AI by now, he'd probably be freaked out that JARVIS had access to those texts. Then again, he _was_ Toni's digital secretary when she didn't want to be bothered by anyone. _'Thanks, J,'_ he sent mentally and made a not to himself to do something nice for him later. Having JARVIS' approval was vital to getting together with Toni Stark. He hopes he has a chance.

_"Oh, I'm good at keepin' my distance"_ And he nearly flinched at himself for that. He and Toni hadn't fallen out of contact just because the engineer billionaire stopped reaching out. He was just as much to blame for their friendship coming to a still. _"I know that you're the feelin' I'm missing."_ And that was true, too, he just never wanted to think about it because it hurt. Being without Toni for so long had hurt. Having her back in his life was a balm on his soul he hadn't realized he needed so bad until it cured all of his pain in one application. One hug, one smile from her was enough to make his bleak life and his battered soul seem fine again. He was never letting her go again.

_"You know that I hate to admit it_

_But everything means nothing_

_If I can't have you"_

His thoughts, that echoed for years around his head, torturing his mind and echoing one of Toni's _Iron Maiden_ songs, finally voiced for everyone to hear. Once, he had been the best neurosurgeon in the world, the most renowned doctor in his field, famous for his mind and his hands and the instruments he played. He had had it all, fancy parties, overpriced clothes, his job and patients and a reputation that could land him any job in the world, expensive watches and a luxurious flat in one of the most expensive buildings in New York. He could have and afford anything and anyone ... Except the one thing he wanted the most, that one _person_ he would give it all up for just for a single genuine smile ... Nothing meant as much to him as Toni did. _Nothing_. He was grateful for this opportunity to patch everything up and to go back to how they used to be before they fell out of touch. He hated his accident and the way it ruined his hands and career, but he was grateful to it for bringing him to Kamar-Taj and his new friends, for showing him humility and making a better man out of him, one who might be worthy to hold so much of Toni's affections, no matter the form they took.

_"I can't write one song that's not about you_

_Can't drink without thinkin' about you_

_Is it too late to tell you that_

_Everything means nothing_

_If I can't have you_

_I can't write one song that's not about you_

_Can't drink without thinkin' about you_

_Is it too late to tell you that_

_Everything means nothing_

_If I can't have you?"_

He wondered if people will start reexamining all of his songs after this to try and figure out if he was indeed always talking about the same person. He'd never called her by name but that wasn't necessary for those really paying attention and searching for it not to notice. He wasn't even embarrassed that three quarters of his overall opus was indeed about Toni. He just wished he'd gotten the courage to confess to all of this sooner. All those years wasted ... Well, better late than never.

_"I'm so sorry that my timing's off_

_But I can't move on if we're still gonna talk"_

And he was actually ashamed of that part. The few times Toni had gotten a boyfriend, he would distance himself from her for days, usually how long the relationship lasted to begin with. Which was also why he hadn't let her visit him after his accident. She had been with Rogers and that had hurt more than losing his hands but it was a pain he was used to suffering from a distance. Had she been there, in front of him, all beautiful and worried and caring ... Well, he had nearly lost his friendship with Christine in that period of time because he had been such a jerk. He shuddered to think how he would have treated Toni. That was something he knew he'd regret for the rest of his life if he had said a single mean thing to her.

_"Is it wrong of me to not want half?_

_I want all of you, all the strings attached"_

He actually couldn't be happier than if that were the case. If he could, he'd propose to Toni on the spot but he guessed that would be moving too fast and being too forward given they hadn't even went on one date yet.

_"Oh, U'm good at keepin' my distance_

_I know that you're the feelin' I'm missing_

_You know that I hate to admit it_

_But everything means nothing_

_If I can't have you"_

The audience sang along with him for the choirs, probably because JARVIS went and wrote the lyrics on the big screen again, beside rows upon rows of pictures of him and Toni taken over the years and the past month, all set up like a movie tape. The AI got too many dramatics from his creator, seriously. But it only made the show better so there was that.

_"I'm trying to move on_

_Forget you, but I hold on_

_Everything means nothing_

_Everything means nothing, babe_

_I'm trying to move on_

_Forget you, but I hold on_

_Everything means nothing_

_If I can't have you"_

Once again, the entire stadium sings with him and Stephen can't help but smile, thinking of Toni. She'll probably be glad that the last song actually made the bang she wanted to end the concert with.

_"I can't write one song that's not about you_

_Can't drink without thinkin' about you_

_Is it too late to tell you that_

_Everything means nothing_

_If I can't have you?"_

He led them into a clap, no one playing anything, just a pause as he and the audience clapped for the beat before giving a little thrill on the keyboard and leading the song back into the last part. He'll probably get both praise and hate fro showing off with altering between the two instruments but it's not his fault none of his band mates know how to play the piano and while Kaecilious would be able to recreate it with the sound effects, he hand't had the time to properly prepare. Maybe next time.

_I can't write one song that's not about you_

_Can't drink without thinkin' about you_

_Is it too late to tell you that_

_Everything means nothing_

_If I can't have you?"_

He was met with standing ovations and he invited his band mates to the front so they can all bow to the crowd but they stayed in place. Stephen shot them confused looks but then the crowds got even wilder and he looked up to see Toni speed walking towards him. He gulped, getting ready for a slap or screaming or a punch or who knows what else but he put down his guitar and prepared to face it like a man. It would usually make no sense to be this scared of a woman so much shorter than him but Toni was quite literally his everything. She had the power to hurt him like no one else.

She came to a stop in front of him, eyeing him up and down with an unreadable expression on her face. "Did you mean it? Any of it?"

"Yeah," he answered honestly but hesitantly. "All of it." Toni just stared at him some more before stepping into his space and the entire stadium was suddenly dead silent, holding its breath, not daring to interrupt this moment. Stephen gulped, opened his mouth to speak-

"Kiss me." He shut his mouth, only for it to hang open again as a fire of determination entered Toni's eyes. A gentle flame mean to spread warmth, not to harm. He was drawn to it like a moth, not even registering that he was leaning down until he stopped a breath away from her lips. "Right now, Stephen."

"Toni." And when the hell had his voice gotten so raspy and hoarse? "Are you certain?"

"Duh," she said with a roll of her eyes, smiling up at him a bit smugly. "I was smitten with you since the day you dragged my ass back to the camp all those years ago. It was love before I hit puberty, I just thought you didn't feel the same." She giggled, a sound he hadn't heard since before she hit double digits. "I think we drove our friends insane with how oblivious yet obvious we were being."

"Sounds about right," he murmured, chuckling himself. Really, they might be the Geniuses, but it would seem hey were a pair of dumbass geniuses. Everyone had figured out how they feel except them.

"So, are you going to kiss me or do I have to wait another twenty years?"

"Brat," Stephen admonished fondly before taking Toni's face between his gloved hands, gating the gift for a second before figuring there'll be plenty of opportunity to do this without them, and so just closed the distance between them and claimed the lips he had been dreaming about for a decade. The crowd roared again, in approval, and small celebrations broke out. JARVIS, the sneaky matchmaking AI that he was, let loose the fireworks that were supposed to announce the end of the concert, making this moment all the more remarkable. Stephen ignored it all, instead focusing on the feel of Toni against him, her lips under his, and he sighed in happiness. It was chaste and sweet but it lasted for almost an entire minute before they pulled away, their flushed faces on the giant screen behind them for the entire world to see. Their silly grins were probably embarrassing but Stephen couldn't give a damn.

And just as the noise and the fireworks were dying down as the perfect end for the concert-

"Marry me."

Well, never let it be said that Toni Stark didn't know how to close it off with a bang. The screams were beyond deafening now. Toni was half smirking, half looking hopefully up at him. Their friends were cheering back stage, just waiting to run up to them and congratulate them. Stephen was also sure they were exchanging money for the various bets they've placed over the years on the two of them. Yinsen seemed to be getting most of the cash, Viz being a close second.

And Stephen? What else was there to do or say other than: "Yes."

And Toni smiled like she had never smiled before.

And it was perfect.


	16. Chapter 16

**If I Can't Have You**

**Summary: The Avengers are the best band on the planet, with the best gigs and the most talented musicians in the world. That was fact. The world has long since accepted it. That is until an old friend comes for two of their members and the world is shaken as an old group comes back together once again to make waves. And not small splashes. Tsunamis! Friendship, love and family go a long way to break the chains of society, after all.**

"I heard Rogers and his lot are trying to team up with that new band, Guardians of the Galaxy, for a collaboration on a new album but the newbies are hesitant to accept," Bruce said as Toni did her nails while leaning on her reading husband, who didn't give a damn about the former Avengers beyond his two friends that had once been unwilling parts of the toxic group and Thor who unfortunately grew on him. Toni looked up at her Science Bro and arched an eyebrow, showing she didn't really understand why the pianist and her fellow former Avenger even brought it up. Bruce just shrugged. "They're trying to set themselves up for our _Infinity War_ album and apparently trying to get back into your good graces. With Fury abandoning them to the wolves and sharks and whatever other metaphorical animals to represent displeased fans and eager to start a smear campaign other artists and even more eager to publish them journalists and paparazzi, they've sunk real low."

"So they want to mooch off of her again? Idiots," Wong snorted from Stephen's other side, also reading a book. One he got Stephen as their wedding present. Because he had wanted it in the first place. Sneaky. Toni rather liked Stephen's best man. The man was a savage.

And he was right. The Avengers - if they can even still call themselves that - really _were _idiots. Like, cosmic level of idiots. _Infinity War_ was something Toni had been in the works to set up since the _Ultron_ concert. It was supposed to be all about gathering various bands that want to send out a message to the people, pulling them all under one banner and standing united, _together_ as they delivered their music to the public. The Avengers had never really listened to her about it - not even Bruce, not completely, something he apologizes for almost every day now as they book their sessions, especially with bands and artists outside of SI's far reaching contracts - so now that it was upon them, they weren't ready and instead of leading the 'charge', they were equal to the newbies being brought in. Toni couldn't help but find the irony of it all absolutely beautiful.

They'll end up with only six minutes of stage time. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Not that they had ever _been_ mighty. Not without Toni.

She couldn't believe that it was only about a year and a half since the Civil War concert and the fallout of the Avengers. People still talked about it like it happened yesterday, so it was at times hard to imagine so much time had passed so quickly. When Toni Stark, Iron Maiden, left the Avengers lineup with Bruce Banner in tow, the band got quite some backlash. Toni got some, too, but people were more interested in her new engagement with Stephen than why she left her old band behind in the dust. And when _Thor_ decided to duck out, too, the Avengers started crashed and burned the Hindenburg style. The big muscular blond finally officially made that band with his brother and together with Loki's new girlfriend and even their older scary sister Hela as a 'Fuck you' to Odin, they made _Ragnarok_, a brilliant album. Though Toni was a bit annoyed with Thor for giving Loki her number so the black haired Odinson could bother both her and Stephen about the mastery of the violin. That ended in a huge violin showdown months later, days before the wedding. That ended up being a hit on YouTube.

And if _that_ wasn't bad for the Avengers, Scott scuttled away as soon as the Civil War thing was over and went back to being part of the Ant Man & The Wasp duet he was before. Bucky also seemed more than glad to get back to Wakanda, where T'Challa, Shuri, M'Baku, Erik - or N'Jadaka, but he refuses to go by that name anymore - and Okoye welcomed him and one Everett Ross, which surprised people but everyone seemed to think them a really good group. T'Challa, too, didn't stay with them, as they should have known would be the case from the beginning, and Rhodey wanted nothing to do with them. So they were left without their lead vocalist, pianist, drummer and two song writers and composers, their _only_ song writers and composers and, of course, they floundered. It only got worse as Fury took to managing Carol full time, Coulson took on a new band, Agents, and Hill returned to work for SI fully, under contracts and NDAs. Toni had no idea what they were up to these days besides trying to throw Wanda in Viz's face in hopes of getting closer to her again so they'd 'mooch off of her', to quote Wong's wise words, only for her cousin to dodge, avoid and decline every attempt before eventually asking JARVIS for a restraining order that the SI legal department was more than happy to serve.

Still ... "T'Challa will pull them in with him," Toni said casually, eyes returning to the tablet in her hand where she and JARVIS were playing chess. She ignored how everyone's gaze turned to her, so completely used to being the center of attention by now that it was practically second nature. "As a favor to Bucky. And since the Revengers," and they all couldn't help themselves from snorting at that. Whether Thor knew it or not, that was the biggest burn he could have given their old band, as the talk about the new Revengers put the Avengers into even deeper darkness. There was no way they will ever not find it funny. "Are the ones dragging the Guardians along, I doubt even Quill would be stupid enough to try and drag someone else with them, too. Well, no, he _would_ be but Gamora would put him straight."

"Hypophyse, but I pity that woman," Stephen breathed with feeling, finally abandoning his book to focus on the conversation, drawing Toni closer to his body, much to her delight. She always did like her Stephen-cuddles. They were the best cuddles and snuggles in the world. "Surrounded by those idiots ... Poor, unfortunate soul."

"Don't go quoting _The Little Mermaid_ on us now, Doc," Toni warned, poking his bicep, but the former neurosurgeon just snorted.

"Then don't let Peter talk us into watching Disney movies all the time and we have a deal."

"Let's see _you_ say no to the kid when he gives you the puppy dog eyes," Toni retorted with a snort of her own, knowing it was impossible, especially if he teamed up with Harley. "Besides, Gamora has some backup now in her sister Nebula, so they're cool. They're strong women. They can take on the stupidity of men. I mean, I've been dealing with _you_ guys for two decades."

"You can repeat that with a straight face when I don't need to remind you to eat," said Yinsen as he walked into the room with a tray of sandwiches and bottles of water for everyone, scowling down at the brunette. Toni just beamed at him and made grabby hands at him, mumbling a thank you around the first bite. She knew they were watching her antics with fondness and relief - well, maybe minus Wong, he didn't know her all that well yet, all things considered - because there was once a time when people practically had to stuff food down her throat in order for her to eat because guilt and loneliness used to make everything taste like ash in her mouth. Now, ever since Yinsen woke up, Toni's healthier appetite returned and she never made a fuss about people telling her to eat, especially if it was the man himself or Stephen. Guilt no longer tortured her - not as bad as before, at the very least. Yinsen had still lost a considerable amount of years from his life but he was alive and finally awake so Toni was just happy his physical therapy had gone so well and he regained full motion and muscle mass he had before Afghanistan. And with her finally surrounded by her real friends and family, especially with Stephen back, there was simply no space left for loneliness.

And speaking of Stephen ...

Her bold and unusual proposal at the end of the fireworks show that was closing off the Civil War concert was the event of the year of 2016. Everyone was talking about it. All of their fans could only say '_Finally_!' or 'About _damned_ time!' as their comments on social media pages or concert reviews, no matter how old or recent they might be. Those who followed them since Geniuses, like Mademoiselle Clea and Mr Dormammu, sent them all of their support, talking in interviews or on social media pages and blogs about how their chemistry had been obvious since day one. Most, if not all of their PhDs fans thought the same, the rest believing it developed over the last years of their band being together and then the distance and then the reunion finally set them on the right path of acknowledging their feelings. Even their fans from just a week or so before the concert said that the way they looked at each other wasn't how friends would. Some of the bolder - and ruder - young adult and teen fans even went as far as to tag _#ohtheyf*cking_ and the like. Neither Stephen nor Toni liked how that tag was mostly associated with their little Phantom of the Opera performance at the theater but there was nothing they could do about that.

The biggest annoyance of all regarding their sudden engagement was Rogers. As soon as Toni had managed to drag the shell-shocked Stephen off of the stage and was greeted by their all too happy friends, her ex was there, saying some nonsense how they were only taking a break, that they were still in a relationship as though Toni hadn't made it perfectly clear she wanted nothing to do with the cheating bastard. Rogers even went as far to try and kiss her but Stephen - bless Una Anciento for teaching him martial arts - literally knocked him out by flooring him and then spent twenty seconds glaring death at him before Toni had drawn him into a grateful kiss and distracted them. She hadn't wanted the great night to be ruined by anything or anyone and so she had just dragged her new fiance off to celebrate both the concert and their engagement.

_If I Can't Have You_ was declared the love song of the year and got a Grammy in 2017, much to the delight of Stephen and the Mystic Arts. There had been a lot of partying and a lot of drinks and a _lot_ of hot, steamy, private celebrations when the guests left. What was left of the Avengers hadn't been invited. It had been perfect.

Toni's and Stephen's relationship never change in its very essence. They still bickered and bantered, wrote songs together, reviewed scientific papers, watched cheesy sci-fi movies and went to the Phantom of the Opera together. They were still the best friends they have always been, the only difference they could now _touch_. As much as they wanted. And they had become nearly touch starved since they last saw each other so the change was welcome and nearly overwhelming. They'd never been shy about being too close together, as the concept had never existed between them, but there was now a whole new level to it. They held hands almost the entire day every day, as long as they were in the same room together. They hugged at random. Toni sat in her fiance's lap every time she could get away with it. They relished in their kisses, be they chaste or heated. Toni loved it the best that her nights were never again lonely or cold. It didn't matter if they stayed at her penthouse in Stark Tower or that Sanctum place of his, as long as he held her in his arms all night long, she didn't care.

And the sex was amazing, of course. They _were_ Geniuses. And perfectly compatible. And had longed for each other for over a decade.

Oh yeah. The sex was _amazing_.

Their friends took a great amount of delight and glee in planning their wedding. Toni and Stephen were not allowed to have any say in the wedding, everyone being under the impression that they'd just go to a small church or skip even that and just sign the papers with a witness or two and be done with it and everyone was _definitely_ not letting _that_ happen, as they had been waiting for this day almost as long as the couple has. So Pepper, Susan, Christine, Una and Peter's aunt May were put in charge of all of the planning while everyone else had to keep them from eloping to do just that if they get too bored. So Toni and Stephen spent five months 'dating', mostly trying to ditch their 'chaperones' so they can enjoy some time together. They decided Carol was their best friend, as she distracted Rhodey and allowed them to sneak off and watch The Phantom Of The Opera a few more times - and they were even dragged into a show once, by none other than Mademoiselle Clea, so she and her husband could go on a well deserved and much anticipated vacation - and go to various concerts. Toni still couldn't get it through her head how rock legends the likes of Deep Purple, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Black Sabbath and so on could still ask for their autographs when she asked for theirs. It was sort of like an exchange and it became their thing over the years, especially after she performed Iron Maiden's _Iron Maiden_ at their concert in 2008 after Afghanistan and then made her own _Iron Maiden_ album. Most of their friends didn't find their antics amusing as they then usually had to track them down when they disappeared but were relieved just to have the chance to properly prepare the wedding they insisted of making it into the ceremony of the century.

And Pepper, the vicious, vengeful woman that she was, had scheduled it the same day as what remains of the Avengers managed to book a small concert. The turn up for the wedding promised to be overwhelming. The concert, not so much.

Toni still liked how their original vows they wrote themselves were made with science at its heart, poetic as it may have been to those who understood a word of it, while their first dance was not something that's ever been done before and there was very little chance it can happen again. Not unless two violinists decide to get married and write and play an original song while practically waltzing around each other. Toni loved how it had turned out, the two of them so close their violins were vibrating each other's notes as well as their own, stealing kisses and touches, challenging each other and yet in perfect harmony with each other. It had been as entrancing for them as it had been for everyone else. It was still the top talk show theme whenever they or any of their friends and family were guests. Pepper had really hit the last nail in the Avengers' coffin on the head with the date of the wedding in early 2017. Toni was _so_ proud and Stephen had no complaints.

Still, it was quite frightening, the alliance that came from that period of planning the wedding. Pepper, Christine, Una and May should _never_ become friends. Those women can take over the world.

And JARVIS, the traitor, had helped them every step of the way.

Still, it had all turned out well. After the Geniuses' first dance, Toni insisted on the 24 PhDs playing a few songs before giving over the floor for whatever band Pepper had arranged for. It had been a fun wedding all around. Wong was Stephen's best man, Reed and Bruce being a part of his side opposite Pepper, Susan, Carol and May. Toni had been walked down the aisle by both Viz, the only one left of her original family - because Edwin Jarvis _was_ her family, the man who essentially raised her - and Yinsen, who was responsible for her still being alive and was as much her family as the other man was and she just couldn't decide. Not that anyone had anything against that. It was just a part of her and her family's eccentricities. Peter and Harley were their ring boys, though the two have spent the majority of the ceremony sending Stephen some last minute glare versions of a shovel talk before enthusiastically accepting him during the party afterwards. Rhodey wasn't far behind.

Carol caught the bouquet, so there was that. And Lang was the overenthusiastic crier through it all.

And the Avengers tried to crash the wedding, Steve even tried to get in on the part where anyone might object but Happy caught him, and none of it succeed so the wedding was a major success. Wong danced to Beyonce's _Single Ladies_, Kaecilius and Mordo actually came out of the Sanctum for the wedding, Una told some embarrassing stories about Stephen and everyone had a blast.

It was all good.

The honeymoon was even better, even though Harley and Peter somehow managed to be stowaways on her private jet as they flew out to her old mansion in Malibu.

The year following was even better. The 24 PhDs decided to stay together for good this time, since they were all finally all staying in New York. Stephen ran the Sanctum for Una with Wong, Kaecilius and Mordo as his constant companions given how close they've all become during their short journey as the Mystic Arts. In the end, the guys decided it was a good hobby but they preferred teaching people how to find their inner peace, though they do occasionally play here and there, mostly as an opening act for the PhDs. Rhodey and Carol finally got around to dating, Carol following Toni's example and just asking the Colonel out, though she admitted she got her courage from Stephen's stunt during the Civil War concert. Her cat, Goose, took nearly the entire year to stop glaring at him and Rhodey needed that same time to stop being freaked out by the thing.

Happy asked May out on a date. They've been going strong for five months now. Scott and Bucky became a part of their weird family, drawing Hope and an unwilling Hank Pym into the mess. Thankfully, Hope's mother, Janet, managed to convince the grumpy old man into a collaboration despite how much he still didn't trust Starks.

Stephen had shut that down in the best way possible. "Then it's a good thing she's a Stark-_Strange _now, so you can trust the other part of her." He had said it with a smug, fake-polite smile and watched as Pym gawked at him. Toni laughed her ass off.

Wakanda and the Revengers also assured collaborations with their companies, Vibranium and Asgard becoming valuable allies. Loki, Stephen and Toni still had many arguments about the violin and who plays the best. They founded their reluctant friendship on the fact they all think Romanov's full of shit. Pepper was asked out by T'Challa's younger cousin, Erik, two weeks ago. She seemed charmed. Bruce finally got the courage to try and make up with Betty. They decided to start off by repairing their friendship so she still had no idea how that was going. Johnny terrified everyone out of their minds when he asked Hela out and they started dating. He planned on proposing on their six months anniversary. Everyone's still trying to figure out how _that _worked, miraculously. Thor and Jane were going strong, despite some bumps in the road like the day Thor dragged in a fucking kangaroo and called it Bilgesnipe, or Bilgy for short. Somehow she ended up loving it the most. Loki and Brunhilde - the Valkyrie dudet - were still dancing around each other, which was getting fucking annoying and Toni figured this must have been what their friends felt like regarding her and Stephen. It was frustrating.

Anyway, Peter and Harley were being Peter and Harley, though they now had an alliance of sorts with Shuri, which was also fucking terrifying. T'Challa had invited them all to his and Nakia's wedding next month. Sue announced she was actually pregnant just yesterday, which was why they were all chilling out at their old haunting place, trying to recover from the hell of a party they threw the night before, everyone invited. Ben even invited his new girlfriend to meet his crazy family and she seems to like them, even if she can't see some of the shit they got up to since she was legally declared blind. Christine ended up going out with Barnes to a few dates. None of them know how that will turn out.

Viz actually started dating this girl - Mantis? Toni's not sure she got that right; it was a weird name but given the life she's led and the people she knows, she wouldn't be too surprised - and that's how they met the Guardians of the Galaxy, who they were slowly started to integrate into their group. It helped that Yinsen seems incredibly smitten by the one calling herself Nebula. Toni liked her. She was a badass and really loyal. They went out for drinks sometimes and practiced shooting out of various weapons together. She was Nebula's favorite out of the whole group.

It was all going good, even with the Avengers' few attempts to insert themselves back into Toni's life. She didn't really keep tabs on them anymore. Some of the others sometimes made comments or they talked about some shitty attempts to bring the Avengers back to the group they used to be like this, but that was the most of it.

She was too busy with her perfect life with Stephen and their new dog, Levi, to care about them. Una got it for them for their first anniversary and they were smitten with the over excitable, ever faithful and extremely loyal Alaskan Klee Kai. Toni still got all pouty when the adorable dog showed it favored Stephen over everyone else.

All in all, life was extremely good as she looked over her friends bickering and bantering about the idiocy of the Avengers, well, the ones that were awake. Most of them were all still pretty much knocked out and still not dealing with the hangover. She almost pitied them for having to drink Yinsen's homemade hangover remedies. Still, life was good as she leaned against her husband and hummed along to herself.

Life sued to be so different. Ever since her parents died and she took over SI, life had seemed dull and almost painful and she felt the need to numb it with parties, meaningless one night stands and alcohol. Now all of her real friends were back, she had finally said _'Fuck you'_ to the Avengers and life was looking up as she spent enjoying it day by day with all of the people who really mean something to her, namely Stephen. No more wasted time. No more empty nights. No more fake friends. No more pretending that money and fame can make up for all that loneliness she used to feel.

She looked up to Stephen when he started humming along to her chosen tune and she had to smile as she realized what it had been. Whether Stephen realized it, the feeling behind it was mutual. So she just leaned up and kissed her husband and dearest, bestest friend and oldest love before settling back in his embrace and finishing the song off in a whisper against his neck.

_"Everything means nothing_

_If I can't have you."_

**THE END**


End file.
